Page 29 of Regrets

He sits up in the bed, keeping me on his lap as he pulls my face to his, kissing me fully, and I feel the love in his kiss. I feel safe in his arms.

I’m wearing an old tank top and panties, and I lift the tank over my head as I kiss him, barely breaking the connection to toss it away.

I just want him.

My bare breasts press against his chest, and I revel in the hardness between my legs as I move my hips against him, creating a delicious friction and trying not to think about the scene from a few moments ago.

This is not that. This is sweet. We actually love each other.

Colt’s large hands slide into my hair as he kisses me softly. “Colt . . .” It’s a soft whisper because I’m afraid to request what I really want.

“God, Pea. You feel so good.”

I think he wants it too. “Yes.” I press against him, sliding along his hardness.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to stop if we go any further.” His hands slide over my bare arms as his mouth dips to my neck and he lays soft kisses on my skin.

“It’s okay.”

“I want you so bad, Pea.”

I move my hands to the back of his head, pulling his lips to mine. “You can have me. We’re older now.”

His brow furrows, and he moves his head back slightly. “You really think getting pregnant at sixteen is that much better than at fifteen?”

“No, but we’ll be careful.” I kiss along his jaw. “I’m on the pill now.”

His hands move to my arms, pulling me back to look at him. “You’re what?”

Suddenly, I feel ashamed as I shrug in his hold. “I just thought it would be a good idea to be safe in case we get out of control.”

He looks at me with disappointment and uncertainty. “We never lose control.”

“I know, but I mean,” I look down at his lap, still feeling his dick hard and pressed against me, “we’re clearly attracted to each other. Our bodies want this.”

“Pea.” He takes a deep breath and moves my body next to him and off his lap. “I’m not Linc. I won’t disappoint my parents. I have a plan I can’t deviate from.”

I grab my tank top and pull it on over my head, wrapping my arms around my stomach. “I know, but we love each other. There’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing.”

He turns to me, brushing his hand sweetly over my cheek. “I don’t want it to get out of control. We have to wait until we’re at least out of high school, Pea. No mistakes.”

I nod, but I don’t understand. I think about Linc and the girl earlier, both of them lost in lust and enjoying each other’sbodies, and they aren’t even in love. I don’t think Linc is capable of being in love. “Okay.”

He pulls me to his side as we settle down under his covers. “Damn. My balls are going to hate me though.”

I laugh slightly against his chest as I cuddle against his warm body. “Yeah, well my body hates you a little too.”

“I’ll always want you.”

I want to believe him, but I feel dirty offering myself to him and being turned down. I feel trashy and desperate as I try to fight the memories of my mother telling me how worthless I’ll always be.

Telling me when I was only six years old that I ruin lives.

Does Colt think I’ll ruin his life? Is that what he’s worried about?

Does he see it too?

16

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