Page 25 of Regrets

I walk into the living room and look around. No Linc.

I go to the kitchen and don’t see him there either. Of course, he doesn’t want to face me today.

I move to the freezer, pull out a bottle of vodka, and walk back to my room.

I sit cross-legged on my bed and stare out at the lake as I twist off the lid and take a drink.

Linc was good last night, but nothing can bring me back from the depths of hell I’m in.

14

LINC

Ilisten to my mother’s voicemail and groan as I unlock the front door to my house. She left me a message when she left Kansas City about an hour ago. So, I have an hour to get myself presentable and get P to that point too.

I couldn’t look at her after we fucked.

I couldn’t stand to see that look of regret and anguish on her beautiful face and know I feel the same way.

I hate her.

I hate her for fucking tempting me.

For not staying the fuck away from me.

For not being completely repulsed by me.

I fucking hate her.

But I hate myself more.

I walk inside the house. “Penelope! Get your ass up!” I shout for her as I walk through the house, pissed she isn’t sitting poised and waiting for me on the couch.

We had a deal.

And I gave in. Because it was what I wanted. I craved her fucking body. I needed the pain and pleasure, but I despised myself as soon as it was over.

And I did what I do when I can’t hide from that hatred.

I went for a swim in the lake for hours in the night. And then I slept outside and did it again, wondering if the water would take me away.

“Penelope! We had a fucking deal.”

I open her bedroom door, a sinking feeling attacking my gut when I see her passed-out on her bed. She’s on her stomach with her head barely off the bed, her arm lying limp and touching the floor.

“No!”

Fuck. No. I run to her and flip her over, shaking her shoulders. “Wake up.”

She doesn’t move or make a sound.

“P! Don’t do this to me.”

I feel for a pulse, and I start to breathe again when I feel a thud against my fingers. I try to shake her again. “Penelope. Wake. Up.”

Please.

I lift her body up to me, hugging her to me and can hear her soft breaths in my ear.

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