Page 12 of Regrets

I hate the way he looks at me, like I’m hiding something and only he knows what it is.

Most of all, I hate that I know he does.

7

PENELOPE

Iroll over in bed, moving to my side and looking out my large windows at the lake, at the surrounding trees blowing in the wind and the ripples of the crystal blue water. The sight makes me physically ill.

How the hell can Linc live right on a lake?

His mom vehemently tried to talk him out of it, but it was his request. I never should have agreed to move here, but I can’t seem to say no to Nora. She begged me to give college a shot and said she’d feel better if I lived with Linc, that he could keep me safe and help me to not feel so alone. She apparently has no clue who her son is. But I ultimately gave in, knowing I’d hate it here.

I roll to my other side and stare at the closet door.That’s a little better.

I hold up my hand and look at my right wrist, then squeeze my eyes shut tight.Why did I have to get that tattoo?

May 1st.

Today’s date.

Colt’s birthday.I move to lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling in my bedroom. Being unable to get comfortable is mything these days. Being stuck with a restless spirit that never feels calm or settled, that’s me.

I can’t escape the thoughts in my head. The memories. No matter how hard I try.

There’s no way I’m going back to sleep, and I’m definitely hungover from doing shots with some hipster douchebag I met on campus yesterday and walked with back to his place. To top it all off, he was a lousy fucking lay.

I mean abysmal. I was never even close to coming. I left his place frustrated and totally unsatisfied.

I climb out of bed and walk to the only bathroom in the house, desperately needing another shower.

It’s like the one I took last night didn’t take or something.

I constantly feel unclean.

I hear the shower running before I walk in, but I don’t care as I push the door open and lift my t-shirt off over my head.

“What the fuck are you doing, P?”

I roll my eyes and then look at Linc. The shower in this bathroom is all glass with a tile floor. There’s nowhere for him to hide, but he doesn’t have anything I haven’t seen before. Although his is by far the best male body I’ve seen, sculpted and hard from years of working out his frustrations. “I need a shower.”

I unhook my bra, sliding my thong down and open the shower door, walking inside. “What. The. Fuck?”

I turn to look at Linc’s face. “Please don’t act shy around me. I see you, Linc.” I repeat back to him the words he would use to taunt me when we were young. I know him just as well as he knows me and always have.

“We don’t shower together.”

I roll my eyes again and move past him to grab the shampoo, lathering it up in my hands. “And yet, the other night you were asking me for an orgasm.”

I stand under the spray of the shower, letting it wet my hair before raising my hands to scrub the shampoo into my brown locks.

His jaw ticks as he watches me with a brooding and angry look on his handsome face. He’s definitely not in a good mood today.

Well, neither am I.

“So, you’re going to blow me then?”

I rinse the soap from my hair and turn away from him, letting the water wash down my face, closing my eyes and enjoying the feeling before I grab the conditioner and rub it into my hair.

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