Page 88 of Cruel Honor

I look over my shoulder and find Dimitri asleep. If it were possible, he somehow looks even more handsome while sleeping. That’s just not fair.

We shared something I’ve never shared with anyone else. I let him touch me. I let him bring me to release. I want it again, I realize. I can understand why so many women fell for Dimitri. He’s handsome, charming, and knows what he’s doing.

But I’m not just a random fling. I’m his wife. If we continue down this path, there will be no going back.

If I’m being honest, there already is no going back.

By killing Tatiana, I’ve firmly planted myself into Dimitri’s life. Now, I just need to carve out my own piece of it and figure out where I fit in.

Dimitri stirs awake, and I quickly shift away from him. While being in his arms feels magical, I’m not ready for more. I don’t deserve more after what I did.

“Hey,” he says, giving me that handsome smile of his that makes me weak in the knees.

“Hi.” I stare up at the ceiling, my hands clasped on my stomach.

“What are you doing way over there?” He tries touching me, but I pull away. “Evie?”

“I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Tatiana.”

The easy-going smile slips from his face. “Right.” He clears his throat and rolls onto his back as well. The energy in the room has completely changed. Before it was relaxed, and now, it’s full of tension. “You don’t have to think about her, you know? I took care of it.”

I let out a rough breath. “It’s not about that, Dimitri. It’s the fact that I’m the one who …”

“Killed her?”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“So … blasé.”

“But you did kill her. So, I’m not sure how else I’m supposed to say it.”

I turn away from him. Suddenly, I’m acutely aware of my dress again. My dress touching my thighs—the same thighs that Dimitri held as he gave me an orgasm. A heat settles into me. I push the thoughts away, though. I don’t deserve to be comforted. Not after what I did. “You’re used to this life. This … darkness. But I’m not. I’ve never done that before.”

He sighs, and I can feel him shift closer to me, but he doesn’t touch. “Evie, I get it. As I said yesterday. I used to have nightmaresafter my first kill, too. But then I got over it. I moved on. So will you.”

“How did you move on?”

“My father had me kill other people, and soon, it became second nature to me.” He pauses. “You know, I can see how that advice is not applicable to you. So, maybe forget what I just said.”

His cheery tone makes me smile a little. Of course, he can’t see it, and I don’t want him to see it. “I’m not about to go on a killing spree to become accustomed to killing.”

“I know.”

“So, how do I move on from this?” My hands clench into the bedsheet, my fingers turning white.

“Honestly?” His cheery tone is gone. “I’m not sure. Time, I guess. But I’m here, Evie. I’ll help you out.” He pauses then laughs more to himself. “I never thought I’d say those words. I was never one for helping anyone out. I used to make everything very self-serving. Hell, even marrying you was self-serving.”

“I thought you wanted to protect me from Dima.”

“We both know I just used that as an excuse to marry you.”

A shiver goes down my spine. At least he’s admitting it.

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