Page 104 of Cruel Honor

“It’s forty bucks.”

I realize then I don’t have any money. I’ll have to go back and ask Dimitri for some, and that’s the last thing I want.

But it’s the only play I have.

I give the man an apologetic smile and leave the front office. Stepping back outside into the darkness, I’m suddenly aware of how vulnerable I am. I’ll just make it back to Dimitri and get the money and get a new room and hunker down for the night.

And then I sensehim.

I would know that sweaty smell anywhere.

Dima.

I gasp and turn around, coming face to face with him,

“Hi, Evie.”

I don’t stop to talk. I just take off running.

But Dima grabs me and holds me down onto the ground. I try to scream, but he covers my mouth. We’re hidden behind a car in the parking lot. No one can see us.

“It’s time for you to come with me,” he says. “Do you want me to continue killing all those other girls? Because I’ll stop if you just come with me.”

We both know he’s lying.

But I also can’t stand the guilt of having more blood on my hands. Tatiana’s death is my fault. The other girls Dima has killed because hewants me—while not my fault—still feel like my fault. The guilt gnaws at me.

“Just come with me, and no one else has to get hurt.”

The last thing I want to do is go with Dima, but maybe if I do, maybe if I’m … dead, then that will help things. I’m the reason Tatiana is dead. If Abram finds out I’m dead, maybe he’ll stop going after Dimitri. Maybe I can help save more lives if I’m gone.

Slowly, I nod.

“Good.” He doesn’t remove his hand from my mouth as he forces me to stand. “Walk.”

He inches me away from the room Dimitri is in. I can see it from here. Room five. It’s so close and yet so far.

I’m choosing this.

My guilt over Tatiana. The betrayal of Dimitri over kidnapping a child. The constant danger we’re in.

Maybe I do deserve to die. Maybe I should have died all those weeks ago when Dima first took me.

He leads me over to a car, and I get inside. Dima only removes his stinky hand from my mouth to shut the car door. I can breathe again, but that doesn’t make things better.

“I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.” He starts the car, and we drive away. Dimitri doesn’t even know I’m gone.

“How did you find me here?”

“I’ve been following you all this time, just waiting for my chance when your husband was away. I figured now was as good a time as any.”

I don’t ask Dima any more questions. What’s the point?

I was fine living my sheltered life in books. Was I truly happy? Not really. But I had the library. I had Katya. I was making it work.

Then Dimitri entered my life and showed me I could have more.

The thing is, I don’t deserve more. Not after what I’ve done.

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