Page 37 of Devoted Enough

“He didn’t give it to me; he gave it to our business. And where does a twenty-two-year-old get that kind of money? I mean, his house is beautiful, he has a brand-new Ford F250 truck, and he’s dishing out three-hundred-thousand-dollar checks?”

Sophia looked around, wondering if she should say anything. Ultimately, she said, “I know the grandkids all received a trust from their grandparents. That’s how Josh and Nate bought the land and built houses. Please don’t let Nate know I told you. I don’t think it’s a big secret, but I don’t think they want me going around telling people. You’re not people, though. I mean, you are, but you know what I mean.”

“I know the Shaws are a wealthy family, but, Sophia, he gave us three-hundred-thousand dollars. Why?”

Sophia gave me a soft smile. “The same reason Josh donated or, I would assume it’s the same reason.”

My gaze met hers. “I want to think I know why, but it’s Nate. We have a history.”

Her brows rose. “What kind of history?”

I closed my eyes as that night in the barn returned to me. “Our senior year of high school, I worked with a horse at Nate’s parents’ barn. We were the only ones left in the barn, and I was trying to save this kitten, and let’s just say I ended up on the bed in the office. Things happened, and I was so gloriously happy, Sophia. I can’t even begin to tell you how long I had, or if I’m being honest, I have liked Nate. Things went pretty far, but not that far. He just stopped and said it was a mistake. He kept repeating how what we had done—what we’d almost done—was a mistake.”

Sophia took my hand in hers. “He got scared, Haven. He’s still scared.”

With a shake of my head, I felt the tears starting to build. “No, I don’t think that’s it. He knows something about my past and I’m afraid…I’m afraid…”

“You’re afraid of what?” Sophia asked.

“That my past is what is keeping him from moving on from friendship. I know he cares about me, that is evident with what he did about my car and the donation.”

“I think he more than cares for you as a friend. You should see him when your name gets brought up. Something in him changes, and he lights up. And don’t even get me started when I mentioned you had gone out with Ted. I thought Nate was going to tear his hair out.”

My chest ached. “Why can’t he admit he has feelings if he truly does have them?”

Sophia thought for a moment. “I wish I had that answer for you, sweetie. The only person who knows that answer is Nate.”

I nodded. “What do I do now? Do I tell him I know the money and the tires, that it was all from him?”

Sophia shrugged. “I could ask Josh if you want me to. He would have a better insight into Nate. But, if you think whatever it is that was in the past is the reason he is friend zoning you, just ask him.”

I closed my eyes and tried to push away the nausea that I felt any time I thought of my father. I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to talk about those years, especially to Nate. What if he looked at me differently because of my father and how horrible of a person he was to me and my mom.

Drawing in a deep breath, I asked, “If you tell Josh, will you please ask him not to say anything to Nate that I think it’s him?”

“Of course. And you can trust Josh. He won’t say anything.”

I gave her a weak smile.

“I need to run. Please let me know if you need me to do anything for tomorrow’s pick-ups.”

“Yes, of course,” I said with a nod. “Go enjoy your evening with Josh.”

Sophia pulled me into a hug. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will. Have a good night.”

“You too, Haven.”

The drive back to my apartment was a blur. What was I going to do? Did I confront Nate and tell him I knew the money was from him? Do I not acknowledge it? I was confused. One second Nate Shaw was cold, the next hot as all get out. So the biggest mystery was what did he want from me?

Once I entered my apartment, I dropped my things on the floor and headed to my bedroom. Face-planting onto the bed, I let out a yell before rolling over and staring up at the ceiling. A part of me thought I should be angry at Nate for giving me so much money, but another part was so overcome with relief that I felt like I couldn’t think straight. Why would a man givesomeone three-hundred-thousand dollars for the heck of it? Did he think I would shove it back in his face and tell him ‘no, thank you’? No, he is banking on me not finding out it was from him.

Closing my eyes, I thought about how I had reacted to the tire. Of course, he would most likely think I would turn it down. He simply did it out of the kindness of his heart. That was a lot of money, though, for just the kindness of your heart.

My hands came up to my chest as I drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Nate Shaw…what in the world are you doing and why?”

I reached for my pillow, brought it to my chest, and rolled onto my side. I was exhausted. The last thing I remembered before drifting off to sleep was silver eyes looking into mine, and Nate’s soft words were an echo as I drifted off to sleep.

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