Page 25 of Devoted Enough

I lifted my head, and the moment I saw those eyes, I lost control and cried. Not just the tears that slowly slide down your face, where the hero reaches up and wipes them away. No, I had to burst out in sobs—the kind that shakes your body and makes your nose run instantly.

“Shit,” Nate said as he pulled me to him. I buried my face in his neck and just rapid-fired all of my problems. Everything was muffled, and I was glad for that because, truth be told, I didn’t want Nate to hear all of my issues. He was the last person I wanted to tell my woes to, but at the same time, it was nice to say it out loud.

Suddenly, I was lifted off the floor and carried over to the sofa. Nate sat down with me on his lap as I buried my face into his neck. Now that the dam was broken, I couldn’t stop it. All the feelings, every single one that I’d kept buried deep down inside over the years, the ones about my father, my mother working two jobs to keep up with the house, and me trying to help her and secure a future for myself…it was all coming up to the surface. I could feel his hand move up and down my back as he softly told me everything would be okay.

“Shh, it’s okay, Haven. Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”

The more he told me not to cry…the more I cried. I wasn’t even sure when the last time I had cried was. That was a lie. It was the night Nate rejected me. And here I was, in his arms, crying like a damn baby.

“Tell me what’s going on, sweetheart. Why are you so upset?”

I wanted to grab onto his use of the word sweetheart and analyze it, read more into it than was probably there, but I knew it was useless. Nate had made it clear time and time again that he had no feelings for me. Yet, he held me while I cried, which had to mean something, didn’t it?

No. No. No.

I wasn’t going to read into anything. Nate leaned back on the sofa, taking me with him. The tears just kept coming. I finally relaxed against him, and the last thing I remember before crying myself to sleep was Nate’s soft voice.

“It’s okay. I’m here, and I won’t let you go.”

I blinked my eyes open only to shut them because of the sunlight pouring into the room.

Sunlight?

Sitting up quickly, the room spun slightly. I had to close my eyes to get my equilibrium back. I slowly opened one eye, then the other. It took me a hot second to realize where I was.

Nate’s guest room. The same room he had brought me into to shower and change. Turning to my left, I sighed when I noticed that the side of the bed was still pretty much made up.

Swinging my feet over, I stretched my arms up and let out a long breath. I must have slept like the dead. I looked at my Fitbit to see what time it was and nearly choked on the air I sucked in. It was almost nine in the morning. Catching sight of my phone on the side table, plugged in and charged, I grabbed it. There was a text from Sophia.

Sophia: Good morning! Nate texted me last night to let me know you had fallen asleep and that your car was at the shop. I hope it’s okay, but I figured you were still sleeping when I hadn’t heard from you earlier this morning. I took it upon myself to text the morning and afternoon groups this morning to cancel today due to the weather. With all the rain and flooding, I didn’t think you would be taking the pups out, or that some of the roads would even be passable.

Me: Morning, Sophia. I’m so sorry, and I must have been more tired than I thought. I just woke up, and that’s perfectly fine. I wouldn’t have been able to get there in time. Did you happen to let Owen know?

Sophia: Yes, I let him know.

Me: I owe you, Sophia.

Sophia: That’s what partners are for! I’ve got your back.

I let out a long breath and set the phone back on the table before heading into the bathroom. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw a brand-new toothbrush with toothpaste on the counter. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I looked at my hair, which was a mess. In the end, I left it alone. I usually wore my hair up in a ponytail, but today, it fell around my shoulders in wild curls.

“I’ll just pretend it looks good,” I mused as I stared at myself in the mirror. I had zero makeup on, my hair was a rat’s nest, and I was about to see the man I had been in love with for as long as I could remember.

Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out. “You have to move on, Haven. You have to let go of this stupid fantasy.”

When I opened my eyes and saw my reflection in the mirror, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to cry or laugh. I had spent the night in Nate Shaw’s house. Had most likely fallen asleep in his arms, and Lord knows what he thinks of me after that crying fit. WhatI wanted to do was crawl under a rock and hide. For as many times as I had wanted to see Nate, this was one rare moment I didn’t.

But I was stronger than this. So instead of hiding out in the room, I turned on my heels and started up to the main floor for the kitchen.

As I walked up the steps, I could smell bacon. My stomach growled, and I placed my hand over it, taking a deep breath through my nose. I hadn’t realized I was so hungry.

I swayed slightly when I saw Nate standing at his stove, wearing nothing but sweats, no shirt, no shoes, just sweats. I squeezed my eyes shut.

You’re moving on, Haven. Moving. On. But damn, did he make it really difficult to move on when he was shirtless and wearing sweatpants.

Opening my eyes, I cleared my throat and said, “Good morning.”

Nate jumped and then glanced over his shoulder at me. His eyes went wide and his mouth fell open some. I looked away from his intense gaze and said, “So, ummm, obviously my hair has a mind of its own. Do you know where my ponytail holder is?”

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