Page 8 of Devoted Enough

Haven’s smile faded slightly as we lay there, neither of us moving.

“Haven,” I whispered as my eyes drifted to her perfectly pouty lips. When her tongue dashed out to wet them, I lost all sense. Cupping her face in my hands, I drew her down to me and kissed her. It was slow and almost awkward at first until she opened her mouth. The kiss turned deeper, and before I knew it, I rolled us over. Haven spread her legs open, and I settled between them, pushing my hard length into her, causing us both to moan. Her fingers sliced through my hair as if she was clinging onto me, afraid I would stop kissing her.

“Fucking hell,” I gasped as I ripped my mouth from hers and started to kiss along her jaw and down her neck. My hand slipped under her shirt, and when I cupped her perfect breast in my hand, she arched her back. I wasn’t sure when I did it, but I had taken her shirt off and pulled her bra down, exposing a tight nipple to the cool air. My mouth covered it, and when I gently bit down and then soothed it by licking, Haven moaned my name. I liked hearing her say it as she lay there on the verge of falling apart.

“More, Nate. Please, I need more.”

Still kissing and sucking her nipple, I undid her jeans and slipped my hand in.

“Oh, God,” she whimpered when I slipped my fingers inside of her. She was soaking wet.

“Do you like that?” I asked as I playfully bit her earlobe while whispering to her.

“Yes.”

Knowing that I was about to make Haven come did something to me. I felt confused and I wasn’t sure why, but I wanted to hear her cry out my name as she came.

Her hands were all over me. In my hair, gripping my shoulders, running up and down my back. When she slipped her hands under my shirt, my entire body shivered. When she reached for my jeans, I froze.

“No, don’t stop! Please!”

“Don’t,” I quickly said.

“I want to touch you, Nate. I want to make you feel good too. Please, don’t stop.”

And just like that, reality came crashing down around me like waves in a storm when her words reminded me of that day I found her and her father.

I couldn’t do this. Not to Haven. I had no intentions of settling down with anyone, and to do this would lead Haven on. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I pulled my hand out and sat back, trying not to look at her chest rise and fall with each deep breath. Haven stared up at me, confused.

“This was…this was a mistake. I can’t do this.”

“What?” she asked, a shocked expression on her beautiful face.

I scrambled off the bed, reached for her shirt, and held it out.

Haven lifted on her elbows. “You’re stopping?”

Rubbing the back of my neck, I said, “It was a mistake, Haven.”

She blinked at me a few times, and I could see she was fighting back tears. “Why? I thought you wanted…um…it felt like you wanted…”

I shook my head. “It was a stupid mistake.”

Haven snatched her shirt from my hand and quickly put it on. She stood and appeared to be dizzy for a moment. When I reached out to steady her, she jerked away.

“Haven.”

She cut me off and said, “You don’t have to say it was a mistake again, Nate. I got it. If touching me repulses you, why in the world did you kiss me?”

“What?”

She pushed past me and headed out of the barn.

“Haven, will you wait a second.”

Once she got to her car and went to open the door, I put my hand on it. “Wait.”

“For what? You made it clear you made a mistake—a stupid one. I’d like to leave before I’m humiliated even more.”

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