Page 75 of Fight

She covers her mouth. “Are you saying you don’t like my dentures?”

“Not at all. Sure, blowjobs are a little terrifying, but as long as I use an open palm…” I cough to cover a laugh. “But you’ve gotta quit making an enemy of the equestrian community.”

Her shoulders shake with silent laughter as she covers her face with her hands. She composes herself and picks her book up, shielding herself with it. “I’m really not supposed to talk about it without my lawyer present.”

I add the chicken noodle mix into the boiling water and stir. She picks up her novel again. “How’s your book?”

“I lost my page when I dropped it on the bed,” she says, chuckling and flipping through pages.

“I appreciate your commitment to the joke.”

“Anything for the fans,” she muses.

Only Scottie could keep me this relaxed while trapped in a lookout during a snowstorm. Her calm presence soothes my anxiety.

“It’s good though. Could use a little more romance, but whatever.”

“Yeah? Do you read a lot?” I ask.

“I do. I need to get a library card when we get back to Sky Ridge. What about you?”

Setting down the spoon, I cover the pot and brace my palms on the counter behind me, crossing my ankles. “Yeah, I usually have a book with me when I go on assignments. Or I’ll listen to audiobooks. Do you have a favorite?”

She sits up on the bed with her legs crisscross. “That’s a silly question. How could one ever choose a favorite book?”

“Fair. Well, do you have a favorite genre?”

“Romance,” she blurts immediately.

I grin. “What do you like about it?”

“Love stories are… an escape. In Arkansas, they were my only escape.” She sets her book down again, fidgeting with her hands. “My marriage was obviously complicated. I didn’t even know books like that existed until a coworker, Sheila, was talking about one she’d read. Women in our community weren’t allowed to read books like that.”

“That blows my mind.”

“At first, I would just ask Sheila about what she was currently reading. The things she said were so exciting and taboo. Then my curiosity got the better of me and I was able to get a library card in a neighboring town.” My chest aches for her. She may not have had a loveless marriage, but the way she looked at me when she thanked me for making her feel wanted says a lot. In addition, I’m guessing the passion wasn’t off-the-charts either.

“When I wasn’t working, I would go to the library and read all the forbidden books. It was exciting and fun, and even though it was fiction, it felt more real than anything I had with Jonathan. I craved it, the way two characters wanted to tear each other's clothes off. They wanted to be together. It was passionate and wild. The woman’s pleasure mattered. It was for more than reproduction… I know that’s not always realistic, but I just needed to experience a piece of it.” She glances down at her book and runs her fingers over the pages. “Did you know you were the first man to make me come? I experienced more passion in the back of that ambulance in Oregon than in all fourteen years of marriage. Pathetic, right?”

Holy shit.Based on the way she talks about romance, I assumed she wasn’t getting a lot of orgasms in her marriage, but to be thefirst?

“I felt like I missed out on so much. I’m not sure how to explain what our relationship was like, but it wasn’t the love stories I read about. The ones that made my heart hammer and my face flush. The ones that gave me butterflies.” Her voice cracks. She’s smiling, but her eyes are filled with tears and the longing for something real. I give her the space to continue.

“Then one day, we were called to an accident on the highway. The woman in one of the vehicles died on impact, she was the same age as me, and I realized I didn’t want to die without knowing what real love felt like.” She sniffs and pushes down the emotion, swiping her fingers under her eyes.

Do I know real love?At one time, I thought I did.

“Molly and I grew up together. We were high school sweethearts. She was my everything, we were engaged and waiting to save up enough to give her the wedding she always dreamed of. When I found out about the affair—which was with Dave—I didn’t fight for her, I just left.” Scottie and I only knew each other for a few weeks when I discovered she was married. Walking away from Scottie was harder.

Being trapped with her in a fire lookout, even on our worst day, was better than my best day with Molly.

I haven’t known the woman across from me for long. When I think of how we began, the passion and excitement we shared… I have a better understanding of what those experiences must have meant to her. That was her first taste of something real, and knowing I stole it back without so much as an explanation has me hanging my head in shame.

“Molly? Molly was your ex?”

“Yeah.”

“And Dave?—”

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