Page 84 of Visions of Darkness

“I guess if there’s anyone I could share my eighteenth birthday with, it would be you.”

My mother’s face flashed behind my eyes. My sister. My brothers.

What were they doing now? Was my mother pacing? Was she driving her minivan around the city? Was she on her knees?

My eyes squeezed closed with the weight of it.

“My mom wanted to take me to my favorite restaurant and for us to go ice-skating this weekend.” I admitted it quietly.

It felt like I was letting go of a dream. But I’d already known I had to leave. That I couldn’t stay under their watch, causing them pain.

Affliction carved through Pax’s features, and he sat forward a fraction. “I’m sorry.”

A single tear got free, and I swatted at it. “I just ... can’t stand the thought of her worried about me. Can’t stand her thinking that I’m ...”

I trailed off, choking over the torment.

Pax stretched his hand over the table and set it over mine.

“Wish it was different,” he said.

“I know. I do, too.” But I doubted he knew how much different I wished it could be. “So what do we do now?” I asked.

“First and foremost, we have to keep you safe. Keep moving. Stay one step ahead of both the authorities and any Kruen or Ghorl who might seek to do you harm. Beyond that, I think we need to find out why this is happening to you. How you’re healing people in the day. If there’s anyone else like you.”

My brow furrowed. “How do we do that?”

Pax blinked through this frustration. “I can’t believe that these bare specks of information about how we’ve come to be is it. I mean, fuck, we go to sleep and end up somewhere else to fight against all evils in the world? And we’re just supposed to believe we were randomly chosen to do it? I have never been able to wrap my mind around it.”

“Yeah, I’ve thought about it many times, too. It’s always felt like a bad dream—all except for the scars I wake up with.”

His nod was measured, and he took a bite of his eggs, chewing slowly before he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Don’t you find it strange that there’s never any mention of us in society? That there’s no history here? That no one has noticed and talked about us? Written about us? Even if it was chalked up to mythology?”

We knew from teachings that we weren’t completely rare. There were many other Laven families like ours. Each drawn together to their own sanctuaries and descending into Faydor in their given times.

Awareness sat heavy on my chest. “It’s because we’ve been sworn to secrecy. Told to never speak of it to humans.”

Except I’d done it. Many times over. Unable to keep the truth of who I was from bursting out of me.

“I have a hard time believing no Laven in all of history didn’t break that law,” Pax challenged.

“Like I did ... with my parents.”

“Yeah,” he said.

“There has to be something out there. Something that could help us,” he added.

I realized I hadn’t told him my experience when Ellis had led me to the stream. “Ellis took me to the stream to seek Valeen.”

Surprise flashed through his expression. “Did you hear her? See her?”

None of our family ever had. It had always been believed that she spoke to us throughThe Book of Continuance. That everything we needed, we would find there.

Somehow, Ellis had considered that I might be able to do it.

“I’m not sure. I heard a vague, indistinct whisper.”

“What did she say?”

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