Page 83 of Wings Above the Mallee

Amelia felt a shudder ripple through the girl. ‘I don’t have a connection to Mum. There’s nothing.’ Her voice was more mournful than the haunting night call of a curlew drifting across the river.

‘You have your dad, Charlee. He’s always going to be your connection.’

‘But you and him … where does Mum even fit in?’

Amelia glanced at Heath, waiting for him to deny that there was anything between them.

‘That’s life, Charlee,’ he said softly. ‘It’s a puzzle, and all we can do is make the pieces fit together as best we can.’

‘But I miss her,’ Charlee whispered tremulously.

‘Me too,’ Heath said simply. ‘But moving on doesn’t mean we lose the memories, Charlee. You and me, we share them. We keep them alive by talking about them any time you want. Mum is no longer here and we don’t have to keep punishing ourselves for that. It’s okay to continue living.’

Amelia hoped that Heath was persuading himself of the truth of his own words. She knew he was capable of deep thought, of working to untangle his emotions. But she also realised that he was loyal and steadfast.

He reached to pluck a narrow leaf from the gum tree that overhung them. ‘Moving on doesn’t mean we love Mum any less, Charlee. It just means that we are alive.’

Charlee took the leaf with trembling fingers. She pressed it to her lips. ‘I’ll always love you, Mum,’ she whispered. ‘To infinity and beyond.’ She leaned forward and tossed the leaf into the river. ‘Goodbye.’ She spun into Heath’s embrace, her entire body shaking as she sobbed.

Heath’s gaze met Amelia’s over his daughter’s head. Tears streamed down his rugged face. ‘Thank you,’ he mouthed.

30

Heath

He was an idiot. He’d told Amelia that he could never fall in love again, but he’d only said it because he thought heshouldfeel that way. He’d been seduced by society’s need for him to conform to their expectations of grief—and immobilised by his own fear: despite his assurances to Charlee, the fact was that Amelia’s love of flying added an unacceptable risk. He didn’t have the emotional reserves to deal with potentially losing her.

So, because of his cowardice, he’d pushed Amelia away. And again, it had been Charlee who had brought them back together.

His broken, troubled, teenage daughter was braver than him. By the river, Charlee had said her final farewells to her mother and signalled her intent to move on, to embrace the risk that was life.

By unspoken agreement, the three of them chose not to return to the Overland Hotel. Instead, Heath escorted Charlee and Amelia back to the cottage the women nowunofficially shared. Sean would figure out where they’d gone and pick him up at some stage. The lampposts were farther apart here, only a couple of blocks off the main street, and they walked in the centre of the road to avoid the cobwebs the golden orbs spun from the gums lining the footpath. Although the threads were strong enough to endure, the webs would be stolen by birds the moment the morning sun turned the strands to gold. Undaunted, the spiders would rebuild their world each night.

‘I hope Dusty’s come home,’ Charlee said, and Heath suspected his daughter was searching for normality, trying to move on from the emotions that had stripped them both bare only minutes earlier.

Amelia sighed. ‘Me too. I know it’s the whole call of the wild thing, but she’s never stayed away more than two nights before. And last night was so filthy when that storm blew through. I lay awake, wondering whether she’d found somewhere safe and dry.’ She tilted her head to the sky and squeaked between her teeth. She waited a beat, listening and watching the dark street. Then she shook her head despondently. ‘I’ve walked around for hours, calling her name like some kind of idiot. Every time I see a mischief of magpies, I’ve rushed over, hoping one will come to me.’

‘A mischief? Is that what a group of maggies is called?’ Charlee asked. ‘Seems about right.’

‘That, along with a heap of other collective nouns: charm, tribe, congregation.’

‘Well, I’ll go out and search for her again tomorrow. She’s just hanging out, being a tart with all the boys.’

Although the street was wide—generous, like everything about the Settlers Bridge district—Heath walked close enough to Amelia that his arm occasionally brushed against hers. He wished he had the courage to take her hand again,as though that would help ease her obvious anxiety. But how did he backtrack on his declaration about not being ready? As usual, he’d arrogantly thought only about protecting himself in the moment, hadn’t reflected on how his words might hurt Amelia. It was fittingly ironic that he’d clearly destroyed his chance at moving forward by doing so.

‘How long has Dusty been gone?’ he asked.

‘Three days,’ Amelia said as they approached her front door.

Her mood visibly lifted as Chance uttered excited yips and barrelled up the hallway, falling over his own paws in his excitement.

Charlee got hold of the pup first, cradling the dog and tickling his stomach.

Perhaps he should get his daughter a pup, too, Heath thought. But he’d wanted to gift Amelia something just for herself, something that let her know that he wanted her to stay, without him having to put it into words. And there was that whole damn cowardice thing again. He wanted life to pan out his way, but he didn’t want to make a commitment. Or was it more that he didn’t want to risk asking any favours of the universe, knowing that, at some stage, they’d have to be paid for?

‘I stuck a list on the board above the desk, Charlee,’ Amelia said as she deposited her keys on the wooden side table in the hall. ‘There’s a miniature goat stud at Monarto and miniature ponies in the Hills advertised for sale on the Facebook hobby farming group. But I think perhaps we should investigate the long-term health of the breeds before we commit. I’d made a note of some websites to look through.’

Charlee and the puppy ducked into an adjoining room. ‘No list here.’

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