Page 80 of Wings Above the Mallee

‘Right now, you’re my best friend in the world.’

The lurch of disappointment restarted Amelia’s heart with an almighty clunk. She nodded, forcing a smile. ‘That’sa far better way of putting it than my awkward phrasing. I’ve made so many friends since coming to Settlers.’ She waved a hand around stupidly, as though trying to draw in all the residents. ‘Tracey, Sam, Roni and Matt …’ She’d even claim old Dave Jaensch, if it helped dig her out of this hole she’d dropped herself in.

Heath shook his head, his palm still warm on her cheek, his face entirely too close to hers. ‘I don’t love you for what you’ve done for my family, Amelia—though I do love what you’ve done. I love you for so much more. But the thing is—’ he frowned, though his scarred eyebrow didn’t move ‘—I don’t know that we can be more than this. It wouldn’t be fair to Charlee. Or to Sophie. But if I believed I could love that way again, Amelia, it would be you.’

‘Oh. Okay,’ she gabbled, pulling away from him. ‘That’s pretty much what I was trying to say.’ More like what she’d just disavowed, but hopefully Heath wouldn’t notice, as he bent to lift a puppy from a crate in the back of his car.

Vivid blue eyes beseeched her from beneath the trademark golden eyebrows of the chocolate-coloured kelpie Heath held out to her. A honey-coloured blaze surrounded his snout and extended either side of the puppy’s face, so he appeared to be smiling with hopeful eagerness.

Thiswas love, Amelia realised, taking the warm, milky-smelling bundle into her arms. She didn’t need anything more complicated, more risky, more demanding than this. She was an idiot to allow herself to be seduced by Irish eyes and brooding charm. Hell, Heath wasn’t even charming. He was … morose and unfathomable. Not at all what she needed or wanted.

Heath opened the driver’s door. ‘You said a few months back that you’d like a dog, but that you didn’t stay in any one place long enough to make it feasible. Now you’resticking around, I thought maybe it was the right time. Plus, this guy is the runt.’ He gave a sheepish grin. ‘And I just realised that makes him sound like a lousy gift.’ He pressed his lips together, as if holding back his words. ‘But if anyone can give this pup a second chance, I know it’s you.’

She had no idea what to wear.

‘Come on,’ Charlee said petulantly. ‘You’ve tried on literally everything, Amelia. We’re only going to the Overland.’ She indicated the mound of clothes that spilled from the bed onto the floor, where she sat with the puppy. ‘What’s with this fuss?’

‘There’s no fuss,’ Amelia snapped.Thiswas because Heath said that hecouldn’tlove her. Because she suddenly regretted every minute she’d spent in the sun that had weathered her face beyond her years. Because her roughened hands, toughened by yard work, snagged on the smooth material of anything even vaguely approaching nice.

‘Well, Dad’s seen you wearing everything from your boring office clothes to Dusty poop, and he still likes you. So can we just get going? I’mstarving.’ The teenager teased the puppy with a rope bone, which Heath had provided, along with a basket, toys, a bowl and food.

Yeah, because Heath thought of everything. Everything except what his words had done to her. How he’d undermined the tiny bit of progress she’d made in accepting that maybe she could have a life after loss. ‘You know what? I think I’ll stay back. It’s not fair to leave Chance alone already.’

‘Why are you calling him Chance?’

Because, so briefly, there had been a chance Heath cared for her. A chance her life could go on. ‘Because it fits well with Karmaa and Kismet.’

‘Well, we’ll leave the radio on for Chance. And we’ll only be an hour. Or we could take turns staying home with him?’

‘I’ll stay. This isyourfamily dinner, Charlee. I don’t need to be there.’

‘According to Dad, you do.’

The teen sounded unusually surly, and Amelia frowned. ‘I’ll skip it, Charlee.’

‘Dad will pitch a fit.’ Charlee sighed. ‘It’s just a bit weird, you know?’ She held the puppy up near her face and their matching beseeching gazes were almost comical. ‘We’ve never had a family dinner with … someone else.’

‘Your dad and grandfather must have other friends?’

‘Yeah,friends, right.’

She heard the tremble in the teen’s voice and understood instantly. Although Charlee seemed intent on pushing her and Heath together, she was afraid she was being disloyal to her mother. Betrayal and guilt, the ever-present companions of grief.

‘Your dad and Iarejust friends, you know.’

Charlee snorted. ‘You sound like you’re fourteen, not thirty-four.’

Amelia fumbled the hairbrush. God, Charlee was right. While she wouldn’t pretend that Heath’s seesawing emotions hadn’t hurt her, she could understand—far too perfectly—where he was coming from. Both he and Charlee trod the path she had travelled for the last three years, the one where every moment of joy seemed a betrayal, every happiness a disloyalty. And she knew there was no way to step off that path: the journey continued without a destination, but eventuallyeach footfall fell a little more softly, the past would judge a little less harshly.

Heath was compassionate, tortured, focused on what was best for his family, yet he’d made space for her, listened to her stories of Noah, helped her untangle her own emotions. This man was worthy of the same regard from her. Healing took a long time—perhaps forever, if her own scarred heart was any measure. But she wasn’t running anywhere, either physically or emotionally. She would give Heath the time he needed.

‘Wear that top.’ Charlee pointed at a soft knit. ‘It’s prettier. And Dad likes pink. Not that he’s man enough to wear it himself. Ethan does, though, have you noticed?’

She was surprised by the note of adulation in Charlee’s voice. ‘Didn’t you tell me the other week that you guys are just mates?’

‘That’s notexactlywhat I said,’ Charlee replied. ‘I said that we’re not an item. There’s always hope, though, right?’

She sounded unusually plaintive, and while it was a relief to discover that the relationship hadn’t been concocted solely to hurt Heath, Amelia was immediately concerned. Charlee already seemed more fragile today than she had for some time. ‘Maybe. Speaking of almost-boyfriends, can you see if Dusty’s back? There’s been a male magpie hanging around lately, trying to persuade her to fly off somewhere. And give Karmaa and Kismet an extra scoop of the grain your dad brought. Then we’d better get a move on. No excuse for being late when the pub is a two-minute walk from home.’

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