Page 60 of Wings Above the Mallee

But Charlee’s gasp was harsh, a hiss of shock and … guilt?

Amelia whipped toward the girl. ‘You knew?’

Charlee’s chin trembled, but her tone was defiant. ‘The message came early the other week, but I didn’t tell you because you were still so sick.’

Amelia shook her head, staring at Charlee in dismay as her brain tried to process what had happened—what Charlee had done to her.

‘There was nothing you could do,’ Charlee said defensively. ‘You could barely even string a sentence together, much less rush to his bedside.’

‘What are you talking about?’ Heath demanded. ‘Do you need to get to Gavin’s? Where is he, Adelaide? Or you said he lives out Bordertown way, didn’t you?’

‘Nowhere. He’s nowhere,’ she whispered. The phone dropped to the table. ‘Hannah is reminding me that it’s his funeral on Monday. He died two weeks ago. And I didn’t get to say goodbye.’

Again.

23

Heath

Heath jerked his necktie tighter than it needed to be. ‘Last time I wore this getup was for a funeral,’ he muttered. His lips felt thin, his voice strained.

‘Aye, lad,’ Sean said bleakly. ‘I recall.’

‘The funeral of a woman I loved. Now I’m wearing it to go to a funeral with some strange woman that, for whatever bloody reason, I … care about.’ He should shut the hell up. But the oppressive weight of memories, the too familiar motions of putting the suit on, threatened to swamp him if he didn’t keep talking.

‘Nothing wrong with that last bit,’ Sean said.

‘Everything is wrong with that, Dad, and you know it. Sophie’s only been gone two years.’

‘That’s just the point. She’s gone. Her life is over. But that doesn’t mean yours has to be.’

‘How can you even say that?’ He wasn’t truly angry; he was demanding Sean justify his feelings, the unwanted concern he felt for a woman he barely knew.

‘I can say it because—if you’re lucky—life goes on. Not necessarily better or worse, but very necessarily different.’

Heath snorted, gesturing at the solid stone walls of the old farmhouse and the farmyard beyond. ‘Different? You’re telling me. A bit more than two years ago, I had a wife, a job, a house decorated to look like something from a magazine. Now I have … you. That’s about bloody it.’

‘Not only me.’ A rare frown creased Sean’s forehead in the mirror they shared.

‘Charlee—’ Heath turned his almost-sob into a sharp exhalation, hoping it sounded annoyed. ‘At what point do I give up there? She was making progress, keen to start up this travelling farmyard thing, but then she screwed things up with Amelia and took off. Back to bloody Ethan, I imagine.’

‘Why didn’t you stop her?’

‘If Amelia let her go, there was nothingIcould do. Anyway, what the hell was I supposed to say? How can I pretend that it’s okay she didn’t tell Amelia about Gavin? Because it bloody isn’t. It wasn’t her decision to make. And Amelia is gutted. You should have seen her face.’ It had been almost three days, yet he couldn’t unsee it. Oblivious to the other diners, Amelia had crumbled, the sudden loss of Gavin breaching her walls, allowing the pain of her son’s death to rush back in.

‘Christ!’ A sudden thought made him whirl to face Sean. ‘Did Charlee make achoicenot to tell Amelia or did she forget? And if she forgot, is it because she’s using again?’

‘Don’t let your mind go there. She’s not using, lad.’

‘How the hell do you know? Now she’s cleaned up her act, she could be a high-functioning addict.’

‘I don’tknow. But I think …’ Sean stared into the mirror, somehow looking beyond himself. ‘Now it’s time for me to just have faith. Because sometimes that’s what it comesdown to. If it’s not something we can fix ourselves—and Charlee isn’t—then sometimes we have to put ourselves in the hands of something more powerful. Like Amelia said, you have to believe there’s something more or everything becomes pointless.’

‘Too late. I’m already there.’

‘You can’t be,’ Sean said, unusually sharp. ‘You don’t get that option.’

‘Dad …’ Heath dropped onto the thinly padded armchair, one that Sophie had bought for their house—for aesthetics, not use. She’d been big on shopping. ‘There’s nothing left. I’m … exhausted.’

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