Page 37 of Someday Not Soon

In the end, I realize that there is no easy thing to say because we need to talk—in person or over the phone—about a lot of things we were too stupid to not talk about before.

Holding my breath, I close my eyes and tap send, feeling an awful lot like I pressed a nuclear launch button.

Ella:

Hey, I saw you’re not here. Can you call me?

With no response, the brightness of day fades into the darkness of night, mirroring my dwindling resolve to make things work with him.

The Jude I thought I knew wouldn’t leave without a goodbye. He wouldn’t ignore my text.

Now I realize I didn’t know him at all. This entire thing between us has turned out to be one big, fucked-up miscommunication trope I used to laugh about in books. Except for in a novel, he’d show up by sundown, like a Prince Charming on a white stallion, with an armful of flowers, ready to confess his love.

But this is real life, not make-believe. In the real world, good things end, people don’t always say or do the right things, and the sting of rejection cuts deeper than I ever imagined.

Chapter Nineteen

Ella

Present

Last night,Jude and I shook on being friends.

Either it’s a cruel joke or an unexpected twist of fate. If you had asked me three months ago if I thought we’d be friends again, I would have given you a firm hell no. It’s a turn of events I never imagined possible, not after waking up to his empty bedroom and no goodbye all those years ago.

I’m aware thatfriendsis a dangerous territory to be in. It’s how our story initially began—friends to whatever the fuck happened between us. Being back in the same zone seems like it holds the potential for more. As if we’re leaving the door partially cracked, daring one of us to push it open.

Friendsmeans late night texts that have the chance of stretching into the early hours.Friendsmeans hanging out—joking and teasing, sometimes flirting along the edges of something more.Friendspull that invisible string between us tighter, making the connection more difficult to ignore.

It’s the day before Madi’s wedding, and when I wake up to a call before the sun even rises, I know something is seriously wrong. She doesn’t believe in the existence of 6:00 a.m. and would never be caught awake when it’s mostly dark outside.

I answer on the second ring. “Madi, what’s wrong?”

“The fucking catering company canceled. What the hell am I going to do? Two hundred people are expecting food tomorrow.” Her voice hitches with panic. “This is going to give me a stress pimple. Please tell me what to do. You’re the expert problem-solver.”

“Don’t even worry about it. I’ll handle it. I’ll make sure there’s food for tomorrow, okay?”

“I didn’t call to throw this on your plate and have you personally fix the problem. I just thought we’d brainstorm ideas on how to order two hundred crunchy tacos or something.”

I laugh. “I’ve got this. Seriously, don’t worry about it. I’ll figure it out. You focus on enjoying your final day as a single woman.”

“Are you sure? I still feel bad. But thank you, girl,” she sighs, relieved. “Hey, El? Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Have you thought about moving back to Lawson?”

My brain screeches to a halt. “I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think it’s the best idea.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because everyone is starting new chapters in their lives. And I’m so happy for you all, but I really just feel like I need to carve out my own path with a fresh start too.”

“Don’t forget, you’re also a part of our family. We’re not related by blood or marriage, but we are by heart. You’ve always got a home here with us. And we love you so freaking much.”

My throat tightens. “I love you too. And I’m going to go fix this, okay? Go make Noah give you a massage or something.”

She lets out a watery laugh. “Oh, I’ll make sure he does something alright.”

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