Page 14 of Someday Not Soon

Adam places his hand on my exposed knee, and leans in. “I just had to come tell you you’re fucking gorgeous,” he yells, over the loud music that has started back up.

Suddenly from behind, two big hands wrap around my waist. Jude lifts me up as if I’m weightless, and placesme side saddle in his lap. It brings me back to that first night he saved me from the horrible date. Coincidentally, that must be our thing since he’s saving me, yet again, from another awkward bar conversation. I’m not sure what the expression on his face is, but whatever it is, makes Adam stop short and walk off without another word.

I barely notice Adam leaving, because everywhere Jude’s touching me, I’m buzzing. Electricity runs through my veins, hot and thick, as I realize how turned on I am by the contact. All this time, we’ve maintained a polite cushion of distance. Separate cushions on the couch. No hugging. No flirty touches. But in an instant, all my efforts to keep distance between us are undone. I’m forever ruined because now I know how it feels to have his hands on my body.

We sit there, with his hands anchored onto my hips like he’s worried I’ll decide to make a run for it. I look up into his blue eyes, my mouth beginning to open to let him know the coast is clear. But I’m surprised to see his always calm demeanor suddenly looking feral. As if he’s pissed off and turned on all at once.

I shift in his lap, oblivious, as my movement begins to awakensomethingbeneath me. I shift again, and inhale sharply when I feel him hard and straining against my ass.

“Sorry, just…ignore that,” he gravels out, conflict flickering in his eyes.

“You don’t have to apologize. It’s fine.” I nestle closer into him, testing the waters, my upper body and breast making contact with his chest. My whole body telepathicallyrelaying that this is okay.I want this, I want you. I’ve wanted you this entire damn time.I can’t help myself as my hips roll, moving myself deliberately along his hardness, teasing him. It’s undetectable to anyone but us, but I know he feels it as he pushes his erection into my ass in response.

“You’re killing me,” he mumbles into my ear.

My smile curves up, and I grab one of his hands that are still holding my hips, placing it on my exposed leg sticking out from my very short dress. He drags his hand up to the hem, playing with the edge of the material, slipping his fingers right under the edge of the fabric that rests high up on my thigh. If we weren’t in a bar, I’d slide his hand up my leg even further, silently begging for more.

“Jude.” I turn my head towards his face, and we’re close. So close that one of us could easily lean in and kiss the other. I bite my lip and his eyes track the movement. Watching me closely, looking high on infatuation.

He buries his face into my hair with a tortured exhale. “Tell me what you need and it’s yours.” His dick is rock solid beneath me. More than anything I want to tell him to take me into the bathroom, lift my skirt up, and fuck me senseless against a wall.

And I’m about to do exactly that, when Delaney magically appears out of thin air, stumbling around and singing dramatically to the “My Hero” song the band is playing. Somehow my dirty thoughts invaded my brain and left it devoid of any concept that we’re in public and that hissister, and our friends, are out there somewhere.When it all comes crashing back, I jump off him faster than a bullet train, frantically smoothing my dress. My panties are damp, and I feel suffocated by the intensity of how much I want him.

Feeling embarrassed, I don’t want to look him in the eyes. It will make everything that happened feel all too real. We just foolishly incognito dry humped in a bar where our friends could easily see us. And more than anything, we certainly ruined whatever beginnings of a friendship we’ve formed over the last several weeks.

I’m silently freaking out when I feel him tap my leg with his shoe to get my attention. Looking up at him, I find his face etched with concern.

“Are we okay?” he mouths.

I nod and manage an untroubled smile, like it’s all no big deal. Even though my insides are in knots, and I still want to kiss or fuck him. Luckily, Delaney is drunkenly unaware and flings her body into mine, hugging me tightly. I squeeze her back, but I’m not present. I can’t stop thinking about his hands on me. His erection, thick and hard, straining against his jeans and into my butt. His full lips, growling into my ear.

If we didn’t just fuck up our friendship, we definitely fucked up what little chance I had at squashing my crush this summer.

Chapter Eight

Ella

Present

The last thingI want to do is lead Levi on. He has been pulling out all the stops in an attempt to impress me. And I have to give him brownie points. At the very least, he’s trying. They always do in the beginning though.

After the whole Jude incident as a young adult, I serial dated. It was a blur of faces for several years. One guy after the next, chasing after that same feeling, same excitement that I had with him. I had never come close to finding it. Until the day I met my tax accountant, Stephen. He was exciting, at least as much as an accountant could be. Not in the same warm, uninhibited golden retriever way as Jude. Moreso, Stephen was mysterious and broody, and our physical attraction was instantaneous.

Foolishly, I thought I would be special. That I would peel back those bristly layers and discover a warm gooeycenter. Part of me always thought maybe he had a sentimental spot reserved only for me somewhere in all that aloofness. But I found out two years later, sparks and connections don’t make up for toxic qualities. And that warmness I thought was hidden under layers? Nonexistent.

It’s like someone had popped a tiny hole in our relationship. It wasn’t noticeable at first. A trickle less of warmth here, a dribble less of love there. Eventually everything our relationship had consisted of had been drained away. All that was left was me, wondering what was so wrong with myself that I had to beg for him to show a scrap of affection.

I had a slow, ongoing realization that things didn’t have to be like that. Why give my all, only to get remnants in return?

In a relationship, passion may come and go, but it’s the little things I never want to lose. I want someone to grab my ass while I’m scrambling eggs on a random Tuesday, quiet “I love you’s” whispered when I least expect them, and inside jokes that only we understand. Now I’m certain my expectations have been set astronomically too high.

Once we’ve headed back inside from the deck, Levi begins to set up the pool table that he’s so keen on using. He explains the rules, his voice droning on with an enthusiasm that probably charms most other women. I really should listen, but all I can think about are Jude’s eyes on us when Levi led me away. I know how it must have looked. And now I can’t shake the image of his expressionfrom my head—the way he seemed both possessive and wounded.

Levi nods toward the green felt table. “Have you played before?”

“Never.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll show you the ropes. Not to brag, but my track record is pristine. Never lost a game yet.” Racking the multi-colored balls, he glances over his shoulder with a smug grin. “After a lesson from the champ, you’ll be unbeatable.”

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