Page 29 of Someday Not Soon

“Busy. Insanely busy. Cleaning up a home that’s been lived in for decades is no joke.” I set down my menu, and he does the same.

“Did you decide to sell it?” he asks.

“I did. It was an easy decision since I don’t really have any emotional attachment to it.” In fact, the only feelings I have at all toward it are negative. Hours, days, months, and years of feeling completely alone, all while pretending everything was fine within those walls.

“Well, I’m glad I can help you out with the sprinkler, at least. Kind of feels like the least I can do.”

“I appreciate the help. But seriously, you don’t owe me anything, Jude.”

He stares at me, his eyes intense, like he wants to say something more—something important—but before he can speak, the waiter arrives with clear plastic cups, ice clinking as they’re set down in front of us. His gaze flickers to the cups for a moment, then back to me, his jaw tight.

“You say that like I’m doing you a favor,” he says quietly. “But I’m not. I just…want to.”

I don’t want to face the feeling rising in my chest. It’s awarmth I haven’t felt in years, one I thought I’d lost for good after learning time after time that nothing good ever lasts. Yet here it is, being revived from its long dormancy within just an hour of being around him.

I tuck my hair behind my ear and smile. “Alright, fine. But just so you know, I’m paying for dinner. As a thank you.”

He narrows his eyes conspiratorially like he’s not going to let that slide. “We’ll see about that.”

My Szechuan Beef is good enough, but all I can focus on is the way he looks at me from across the booth. The subtle brush of his knee against mine that doesn’t pull away immediately. The way his smile pulls at the corners of his mouth when he finds me amusing, even though I’m certain I’m the least interesting person alive. His attention makes me feel like I’m simultaneously blooming and unraveling all at once.

When he excuses himself to the restroom, it gives me a moment to breathe. It’s not that I don’t feel comfortable around him, because I do. He’s nearly the same Jude I knew back then, with the same boyish charm and dry humor, layered with a seriousness that makes you wonder what’s really going on in his mind.

A few minutes later, he returns with two individually wrapped peppermints. “Ready?”

I nod, and head to the register at the side of the restaurant, determined to pay for our dinner. The curious employee at the register glances at Jude, then back at me, her eyes warm as she gestures toward him. “Your husband already took care of it. Have a nice night, you two.”

“Oh. He’s not, we’re not?—”

“Thank you,” Jude cuts in, his voice steady as we walk out of the restaurant shoulder-to-shoulder.

As soon as we step outside, I put some distance between us. “You didn’t have to do that. I’m the one who owes you dinner for helping me.”

“You don’t owe me anything. I’m here because I want to be.”

“I’m sure you don’t particularlywantto work on a sprinkler system in triple-digit heat.”

“For you, I do.”

Those four simple words leave me speechless, cutting through the layers of self-protection I’ve carefully built up.

For me, he does. For me, he will.

With him following me to my parents’ home, doubt creeps in like a shadow, darkening my thoughts.

Why me? I’m not special. I’m not the life of the party, or especially charismatic.

I’m quiet, introverted, and not very funny. I’m not someone you drop everything for to help out with nothing in return.

But for once, I wish I could see myself through his eyes. Maybe then I’d understand the beauty he sees and the light I’ve never let myself acknowledge.

Chapter Sixteen

Ella

Present

Letting Judeinto the house feels strange, like my parents might be watching from wherever they are up there, disapproving with every step he takes.

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