It still won’t feel the same. I don’t feel like I belong amongst the sea of people happy and celebrating. The only thing I feel is a clock of grief counting down. It’s as if the mourning has already begun and he hasn’t even left earth yet.

As soon as I pick her up, I know I’m in trouble. She walks out to my idling car, wearing a tight black dress underneath her wool winter coat, and I instantly realize how fucked I am. Even under her jacket, I can tell her dress clings to every gorgeous curve of her body. I’d sworn not to stare, but it’s like trying not to be captivated by a breathtaking sunset. It’s just there, effortlessly stunning, unaware of its own beauty.

She sits quietly in my passenger seat as I drive to the event hall. After a few minutes, she grabs the stereo knob and turns down the music to a low hum. “So what am I walking into here? Do your coworkers know anything about our little fake dating scheme?”

“I hadn’t mentioned anything yet. We should probably keep up the ruse though and act like we are.” Definitely not for selfish reasons. Definitely not for making my friends and coworkers believe she’s mine, so they’ll back off of the inevitable shit storm of hitting on her.

“Okay. Got it.” When I glance over, her cheek twitches with a smirk. “Sure this won’t ruin your playboy status with your bros if they think you’re in a relationship?”

“I was that good, huh? To make you think I’m a playboy?”

“I thought we agreed to never think about or mention it again,” she groans.

Pulling into the old rundown parking lot, I keep my eyes straight ahead. “Layla. There’s no way I’ll ever forget last night.”

I put the car into park and turn it off, and she turns to me, looking at me with a mix of playfulness and defiance. “I was that good last night, huh?”

All I can do is laugh. Because I should have seen that coming from a mile away, my same cocky words being thrown back in my face. And it’s not a lie. The way she squirmed when my mouth was on her was all it took to make me come. Shewasthat good.

“Guess the feeling’s mutual then,” I say, sliding out of the driver’s seat, and taking long strides to open her car door. I reach it before she has the chance to open it herself, extending my hand to help her up to standing in that tight dress.

“How chivalrous,” she mutters under her breath, and grabs my hand. She’s aware that shedoesneed help, but does not want to admit it.

I fight back a smile, as I try to ignore the way my stomach clenches when we touch again. We’re only holding hands for all of two seconds, and that’s all it takes to make my body hum like a live wire.

She tries to let go of my hand, but I pull her into the crook of my side, and sling an arm around her shoulder. A cold breeze swirls around us, as she shivers and nestles closer into me for warmth. “What are you doing? No one can even see us out here.”

“Can’t be too safe. They might be able to see from inside.” I point to the tinted window up ahead. It’s a total lie. I know everyone in there is already too drunk to give a shit. I just like having her here. Next to me, where I can feel the weight of her beside me and smell the coconut scent of her shampoo.

I’m fully aware that I’d be damn lucky if I had someone like her as my girlfriend. It feels good to pretend for the short duration it’ll last. And the pit in my stomach knowing this is going to end sooner than I’d like isn’t the least bit surprising to me. Despite our frequent clashes, I’ve had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. The way she can cut someone down at the knees is admirable. Combined with the fact that she’s as transparent as you can get, always knowing what’s going on in her head, chalked full of unrelenting confidence. She’s the epitome of strength, inside and out.

The awareness that she doesn’t feel the same is what has always stopped me, then and now. She’s always had a reason for hating me, and despite us both growing, changing, and maturing into adults, it only seemed to slightly dull her hatred for me. Only difference now is we’ve gone from fighting over the rules of Monopoly to who made the other come better.

We walk up a few steps into the square, tall, brick building. It’s the biggest event hall in Havenbrook, embodying the town’s overall aesthetic: small-town charm with an old, but not quite vintage, vibe. The exterior is composed of red brick, with rows of yellow roses neatly lining the building’s perimeter. Inside, a large open room greets us, with scuffed wood floors from the countless town gatherings over the years. The full curtains drape the windows—reminiscent of styles from four decades ago—and floor-to-ceiling mirrors cover more than half the walls, giving an illusion of even more space. Artificial pine garlands are strung along the walls, adding a festive touch, while a Christmas tree stands proudly in the corner, its lights twinkling softly in the dim room.

As soon as we walk in, I feel all eyes turn on us, more specifically on Layla. Glancing down at her, she gives me a knowing smile. She’s fully aware that we’ve captured the attention from the majority of my coworkers. Instead of backingdown, she stands up a little taller, and pastes on a confident smile. She’s prepared either for battle or to make a good impression, I can’t be sure. All I know is that she’s ready, and that the run-in with her father didn’t fully knock her down. Even though I wanted nothing more than to sock him square in the face for all he’s done.

Almost immediately, my best friend and coworker, Cody, walks over. We were hired in together and attended the same fire academy, solidifying our friendship over the several months of training. He’s my exact opposite in every way. He’s on the shorter end with sandy blond hair and emerald green eyes that he knows charm people to death.

“Hey, what’s up?” He smiles at me, before extending his hand out to Layla. “I’m Cody.” As they shake hands, he respectfully eyes her with appreciation. In all fairness, you’d have to be dead to not appreciate someone as easily gorgeous as her.

“This is my girlfriend, Layla,” I tell him. As soon as her name is out of my mouth, it dawns on me that he knows who she is. And I know I’ve thoroughly fucked up.

He chokes on a sip of his drink. “TheLayla?”

She looks between the two of us with clear amusement. “That bad, huh? What’d he tell you? That I’m the devil incarnate?”

“Not exactly. Nothing bad.” Cody’s eyes slide to mine. “Wow. So when did all this happen? You hadn’t mentioned anything about having a girlfriend.”

Jumping in before I have the chance to ruin our charade, seeing as I’m a horrible liar and Cody knows me too well, Layla responds, “It’s new. I just came back into town and…” She runs her hand up the front of my chest. Her fingers touch the buttons of my shirt, pretending to be infatuated with me—so much so that even I’m buying it. “We came to the conclusion that after all these years of fighting it, it was time to go for it.”

Cody nods, looking at me as he suspiciously takes a long sip of his beer. “Well, I’m sure Ben here is a happy man seeing as he’s been in lo?—”

“In not a great place lately,” I jump in, cutting off his line of thought. This was about to get awkward really damn quickly, if it already hasn’t. She can’t know that I’ve never hated her all these years. And she definitely can’t know that I would have jumped at the smallest of opportunities to be with her if she had so much as opened the door a slight crack. With my arm still around her, I steer us to the drinks table to get away from my best friend who’s over there spilling my secrets left and right. “We’ll catch you later. Going to go grab a drink and say hi to everyone else.”

With a knowing smirk, Cody lifts his chin. “Sure thing.” He knows I’m running away because of his loose lips. While he’s skilled in fire tactics, he definitely isn’t great at keeping a secret.

On our short walk to the bar set up in the corner of the room, we’re stopped by several more people. I’m well-liked around the department, but notthisliked. Everyone wants to see my date. In a room full of people, she’s always been a stand out. It’s as if she emits a glow that makes it impossible to look away. An angel with the personality of a savage—the exact reason why I’ve been secretly infatuated with her for years. I know deep under those armored layers she has a soft center. It’s why she keeps her walls up and guards them with the ferocity of a small army. She wants to remain impenetrable.