Page 31 of The Best You've Ever Had

Without even realizing it, he has reassured every single worry I’ve harbored for the last fifteen years. I’ve tried to tell myself thesame things, convincing myself that I’m not my father. Hearing it from someone else, especially from someone I grew up constantly fighting with, makes it real. If anyone was ever going to set me straight, it would be Ben. We’ve always fought because neither of us ever held back with the other. Blunt honesty and constant competitiveness defined our childhood. Now, that unfiltered truth is my anchor.

I smack his chest, needing to break the emotional tension. “Look at us all grown up and getting along.”

“We’ve come a long way from the headlocks and penis-face drawings, haven’t we?”

“Yes. Even though both of those things still sound extremely fun.”

We hold each other’s gaze. An unspeakable thread of trust and tension hanging in the air like a web.

Neither of us will admit it, but we can both feel it. We both know there’s something between us. Undeniable and warm anddifferentthan anything else we’ve ever felt.

It’s the exact reason why I slip my seat belt back on, the click of the metal jolting us back to reality. Because he is breaking down that wall around my heart like it’s his sole mission, and it scares me.

It scares me because I want him to.

Chapter Eleven

Ben

When I wasin second grade, I remember Mick trying to convince me to take medicine. When the school nurse called to say I had a high fever, he picked me up from that little bench in the nurse’s office. The first thing out of my mouth was that there was absolutely no way I was going to take medicine. I despised the too-sweet syrupy taste, and had planned to go down with a fight. With a gentle nod, he took my hand, which seemed hot against his non-fevered one, and drove me to the pharmacy down the road. He bought every flavor antipyretic, in every formulation, as I kicked and screamed that I wasn’t going to take it.

Not once did he raise his voice or threaten me to knock it off. What he did do was kneel beside me, right there on the filthy pharmacy carpet. It threw me for a loop. Here I was, making a scene in public, but instead of being embarrassed, he chose to sit with me.

As I swiped at my nose with the sleeve of my jacket, he put a hand on my shoulder and told me, “Look, kid, sometimes we have to do things in life that we don’t want to. That’s just how it is. But here’s the thing, it’s not about liking it. It’s about knowing that some things are necessary, even when they feel difficult.Like this medicine. You take it because it’ll make you feel better, not because it’s fun. Life’s a lot like that. You’ve gotta learn to push through the parts that aren’t easy, ‘cause they’ll lead you somewhere better.” Then he added, “And if you take the damn stuff, I’ll buy you a slushie the size of your head.”

At the time, I didn’t fully grasp what he was saying. But I wanted that slushie, and something about his words felt important, even if I didn’t know why yet. So they stuck with me, lingering in the back of my mind until I was old enough to finally understand.

Now, here I am, the one delivering him medicine that he’d rather not take. Nothing in these bottles will save him, but they will take the edge off and make him comfortable.

Slipping one of the pills from the orange prescription bottle, I hold it out to him.

He eyes it with a downturned grimace. “You know, back in the day, a shot of whiskey was all the medicine a man needed. None of this fancy prescription stuff that I can’t even begin to pronounce.”

I shake my head, fighting a laugh. “Yeah, well, I don’t think the doctor would recommend whiskey right now.”

“Still, I wouldn’t mind a sip.” With a shaky hand, he plucks the pill from my palm with a smirk. “I suppose this’ll have to do though.”

“I know you hate this, Grandpa.”

“It’s not about hating it. I just…I’m tired of fighting. You get to a point where all this, it’s just noise, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. But I’m still gonna make sure you’re as comfortable as possible. A wise man once told me that sometimes you do things you don’t want to because they’re necessary. And the doctors seem to think these steroids are pretty necessary.”

He smiles again. “That lesson might’ve backfired on me.”

“Should’ve known it would sooner or later. I did learn from the best.”

With a watery smile, he looks at me like he’s still seeing that second-grade boy, not the worn-out thirty year-old standing in front of him. “I’m proud of you, kid. You’ve turned out to be a good man. Better than I ever was.”

I swallow around a lump in my throat as I pass a cup of water to him. “That’s not true.” I’m nowhere close to half as good of a man as he was. By my age, he had already been promoted to engineer, started the very first non-profit for Lawson Fire Department, and was married to my grandma with a baby on the way. I feel as if I’m floundering in life, biding my time to see what the hell is supposed to happen next.

He gulps down the pill and shakes his head. “Well, you don’t have to believe it, because I know what I see. Besides, it’s not up for debate. I’m older and half-dead as it is, so I win.”

I burst out laughing at the man who has been a hero in my eyes since I was old enough to form a sentence. But as silence follows, deep down, I know this is one of those moments you don’t get back, because not even heroes can outrun death.

Every year, the Havenbrook Fire Department union rents a hall, throws up tacky dollar store decorations, and throws one of the biggest parties of the year for the staff. Firefighters are responsible while they’re on duty. When we’re off the clock though, things have been known to get wild. And being that the majority of the department consists of numerous philanderers, I’m not quite sure how I’ll be able to prevent Layla from getting dogpiled with advances. We’re only fake dating and ultimatelyshe’s not mine to guard, but I’ve always felt protective over her, especially now.

I look forward to this event every year—drinking with my coworkers who are like family, while playing the most insane white elephant game. I hadn’t been planning to attend this year, due to Mick’s health. Yet, Dad and Layla found a way to talk me into going.

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