Page 72 of An Honored Vow

Gerarda shrugged. “You can’t learn to control something if you never use it. Perhaps if you used this giftvoluntarily, you wouldn’t lose control of it in moments of panic.”

My belly hardened with betrayal. “You want me to turnmoreHalflings into Fae.”

“It would give us an advantage in the fight against Damien.” Myrrah drummed her short, calloused fingers along the table.

“That’s optimistic.” I ran a shaking hand along the top of my braid. “Look at the Dark Fae. Out of the ten who survived until Damien’s crowning, only three were warriors. Riven can still pick up a sword, but he has no shadows to command and Lash is dead. Turning someone Fae does not make them a warrior.”

Feron cleared his throat. “There seems to only be one solution.” He leaned forward onto his cane, his twists falling from his shoulders to frame his face. “I agree with Gerarda. This gift you have must be used—it was given to you for a reason.”

I opened my mouth to protest but Feron held up his hand. “But you do not wish to turn any more Halflings unwillingly, so we must ask for volunteers.”

Myrrah’s lip pursed in thought. “That would work.”

“Are you serious?” I slumped down into the chair, the exhaustion winning out. “We haveshirakflying overhead, burning our outposts to the ground, not to mention the false king would like to personally behead me and anyone who has given me so much as a smile in the past year.”

Darythir waved at Feron, signing something with one hand.

Feron dipped his head in annoyance. “She asks you to make your point.”

I threw up my hands. “Every Halfling dreams of revenge. Almost all of them will volunteer to fight but that does not shed the responsibility. It does not shedmeof it.”

“You fought for their freedom, dearie,” Myrrah whispered, leaning on the armrest of her chair. “Youthful overconfidence is part of that.” She lifted a brow at me. “A big part.”

The weight of Darythir’s stare did not leave me. Her lips pursed. “Then you can select the candidates from the list of volunteers,” she said through Feron.

My blood turned cold. Choosing any name off that list would be just like all the choices I had made before: who should live and who should die. I would be carving a target onto every candidate’s back that I selected.

My hands shook. I didn’t trust myself to make that choice. I had only ever led because I had to, not because I was good at it. Certainly not because I wanted it. And after weeks of feeling like I was on my own, all I wanted to do was run away and drown myself in wine so I didn’t have to be the one who made the choice.

But that wouldn’t help. I needed to find a third option, the path I’d always been too impatient to search for. To find others to lean on and take some share of the weight.

“You decide, not me.”

Feron stood. “Me?”

“The council.” I made a point to look up at them all. “Whoever walks onto the field of battle with glowing eyes will be made a target. I will carve it into whoever I need to, but you shall pick the names. The blood that will be spilled should cover all our hands.”

A solemn silence fell over the room. It stretched, like a note held too long, then faded.

I hadn’t even realized Darythir was speaking until Feron cut in to interpret. “If everyone was a target, then none would be. We could mark them all.”

Myrrah tilted her head, running the numbers of how many Halflings lived in the two Elvish cities. I already knew it was too many.

I wouldn’t force a single person to turn. I already felt bad enough about cursing my own friends.

“No.” I rapped my knuckles against the wood of my chair. “It would work in theory, but not practice. The new Fae have to be trained, every day. Turn too many and our resources will be spread too thin. Someone will get hurt.”

Or worse.

Feron nodded. “I agree with Keera. I will meet with the other Fae and get their opinions on how many we could reasonably train.”

“And Riven,” I added shyly.

Feron’s back straightened. “Are you sure he will want to be near so many magic wielders after losing his powers?”

I shrugged. “Elverath gifted me the ability to control my powers much more quickly than most. Riven is a Fae who has most recently trained. His insight was invaluable to me, and I am certain it will be again to whoever you choose.”

And whoever I curse.

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