Page 105 of For One Night Only

Carrie’s path won’t be easy, but if this can alleviate some of the stress, it was worth it. And I remind myself that’s why I’m here today. My students need someone who believes in them. But with my mind so scattered, even meditating on my reason for becoming a teacher doesn’t do much to hold my attention.

All I can think about is Valerie, and I have to force myself to focus on this meeting instead of wondering if she’s okay. There’s a new assistant principal this year, and he’s giving us a long post-lunch presentation about a lot of logistics, mostly review from the last few years. I’m in the back with Leah and the other fitness and arts teachers, and we’re pretending to pay attention but passing a doodle back and forth. When it’s my turn, I add Sebastian Bark to the pretty Oregon landscape the others have sketched.

When the principal starts to talk about our contracts, my palms grow damp. I don’t know why the idea of a contract I signed months ago is making me panic. I don’t want to take a pill in front of everyone if I can avoid it, so I just take a long sip from my water bottle and try to relax, my fingers playing silent piano scales on the table as I absorb his next words.

“There was an error back in May when you were all sent your contracts, so those have been voided after union review. It’s just a formality, but we’ll be distributing your new contracts via email today. Please use Adobe Sign and return them before you head home, otherwise you’ll be chased down tomorrow by Yvonne from the office and owe her coffee.”

Stilted laughter echoes around the room. They’ve got us packed into the cafeteria, which still smells like grease from summer school, but at least the tables are clean enough. The others dutifullyopen their laptops to sign their contracts, but I just stare at the desk.

“Dude,” Leah says. “You good?”

I swallow thickly. “Yeah, sorry, just…thinking.”

And suddenly it hits me: I had wanted to sign that contract at the beginning of this summer, but after everything that’s happened, I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do now. I love this job, I really do. But every minute I’m here is another minute I’m away from Valerie. She may have hurt me—again—but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to give up on her.

There’s a conversation we still need to have, and I can’t make any plans without it.

“I’m not going to sign the contract.”

“Oh mygod!” Leah says. I blink up at her, thinking this is a reaction to my statement, but it’s not. She’s staring at her phone. “Caleb, have you been on social media at all today?”

“What? No,” I say, scowling. I’ve just made a potentially life-altering revelation and she’s staring at her phone?

She sighs. “Here!” She shoves her phone in my face, and I freeze.

Valerie has posted a photo from our magazine shoot that I don’t remember seeing before, but we look happy and in love, and the hope of it all makes my pulse shift into a higher gear. Then I read the caption, and it jolts me, like I’m slamming the brakes at an unexpected red light.

The only post on Valerie Quinn’s now-scrubbed social media

August 25th—

Image Description:Valerie Quinn and Caleb Sloane on the set of theirPunk!magazine cover, taking a selfie against a red backdrop. Caleb is smirking at the camera, and Valerie is kissing his cheek.

My silence has been a statement all its own, and after some self-reflection, I’ve decided it’s not the one I want to make.

While I don’t love public apologies—because they’re often attention seeking, false, or simply about saving face—I want to make it clear that no one but me should be held responsible for the events at the Glitter Bats reunion last week.

First, to our beloved Glitterbugs—you deserved better. On the morning of the concert, I learnedEpic Theme Songhad been canceled, and I acted out. There’s no excuse. I turned what was supposed to be a celebration of our music into a selfish attempt to cling to my fame. You’ve been loyal, and I’ve been thankless in return. I deeply apologize for what I’ve put you all through. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me, but even if you don’t, it’s been an honor to play music for you all. You’re the best fans in the world.

To Jane, Keeley, and Riker—I want to acknowledge that I put you all through too much this summer. You were brought on this ride, and my intentions were wrong from the start. If we were ever going to reunite for good, it should have beensomething we decided together on our own terms. You’re not just my band, you’re my family, and I should never have treated my family so thoughtlessly. I love you all.

I want to state for public record that no one else in the band knew what my plans were, and I made that announcement without knowledge or consent. If there are any legal or fiscal implications as a result of my announcement, I intend to take full responsibility. My lawyer has reached out to Label Records, TicketChampion, and The Network to ensure that no one but me is held responsible for my actions.

To Caleb…you are the best person I’ve ever known. My actions this summer have been beyond careless with your feelings, just as they were six years ago, and there is no excusing all the ways I’ve wronged you. I can’t apologize deeply enough for everything that’s happened between us, but I’m sorry for all of it. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for dragging you into my chaos, time and time again. I’m sorry for exploiting your kindness, for ignoring your needs, for asking you to pretend to reconcile a romance with me to save my image after I’d already broken your heart.

But if I’m really honest, I was never pretending. I never had to fake it when it’s all I’ve ever wanted. You deserve every good thing in the world, and I can only hope you know the precious moments we’ve shared are everything to me. You make me want to be worthy of spending the rest of my life with you—I’ll fight every day to earn your trust back if you’ll give me one last chance.

And even if you won’t, my reckless heart will love you forever. This song is for you.

Link:stream “everything I wanted”

“everything I wanted” by Valerie Quinn

[Verse 1]

spent all these years playing games

grabbing spotlights, made a name

---