Page 11 of For One Night Only

“Caleb, what do you think we should do?” Riker asks.

He frowns. For a moment, I don’t think he’s going to have a suggestion, but he surprises me. “ ‘Ghosts’ could be a really solid opener since it was our biggest single. It’s a crowd-pleaser. I think ‘Midnight Road Trip’ is a better closer or encore.”

“Oh, I like that idea for ‘Road Trip,’ ” Jane says. “We could play around with the arrangement, make it bigger—put Riker on a crunchy pedal, I’ll add some synth.”

Caleb smiles, eyes brightening with the spark of collaboration. “Exactly. Maybe extend the song and split the vocals up too, give everyone a last feature. The fans will love it.”

“That could be cool,” I add. “Making new arrangements is going to mean extra work, though, so I want to make sure we’re all prepared.” This concert will all be for nothing if it’s anything less than flawless. “We have to be clean and tight and better than ever.”

Caleb narrows his eyes. “We’ve got almost two months, Valerie. I think we can pull it off. It’s not like the fans want to hear us play it exactly like the album.”

“Valerie is just worried she’ll have to share the spotlight with the rest of us this time,” Keeley sneers. “You good with that, princess?”

“What the hell is your problem?” I snap as tension fills my body. Keeley has always been blunt, but she’s never been this confrontational. Maybe her career as an in-demand studio drummer is getting to her head. And they sayI’mthe diva. “I’m just trying to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

“Myproblem is that you always thought this wasyourband, but you don’t get to be a dictator anymore. I don’t even care that you’re using us to clean up your image, but I’m out if you’re going to control everything,” Keeley says, tossing her hands up in frustration.

Jane puts a hand on Keeley’s arm. “I don’t think that’s what she intended.”

“How are we supposed to know? We haven’t heard from her in years,” Riker says under his breath, just loud enough for everyone to hear. I flinch.So much for easygoing.Keeley’s anger I expected, but not his. I thought no one wanted to hear from me after what I did.

My throat feels tight, like I’m one step away from losing it. “Well, it’s not like any of you reached out to me either,” I snap.

I know I messed up all those years ago, but when everythingwent down, all of us had participated in the radio silence that followed the split. I’m not the only one responsible for this estranged awkwardness now, and I don’t think I can handle this if they’re going to blame me for it all.

Maybe this was a terrible idea.

“Let’s take a break until we’ve all had some food,” Jane says, ever trying to keep the peace.

“Fine,” I say, abandoning my guitar on the floor. “I’ll step outside and wait for the pizza.”

I’m not feeling wanted in here.

4

Caleb

The living room falls silent after Valerie steps outside. We all stay seated, a little stunned, staring at Jane’s colorful rug.

I have good reasons to be upset with Valerie. She hurt me and I hurt her, and we both said horrible things we can never take back. But I’m a little taken aback by the anger in the room tonight. Everyone thinksValeriemade me leave the Glitter Bats, but they don’t know what really happened in Vegas. It’s as much my fault as hers.

And sure, after a lot of therapy, I reached out to Jane, then Riker, and finally Keeley a couple of years ago to apologize. Even though each conversation was tough, I thought we’d cleared the air enough that our past wasn’t so tortured. We started staying in touch, a little. Sometimes Riker will send me pictures of new gear he’s considering, or Jane will text me to ask how I’m doing. Keeley will send me memes out of the blue or demand dog pics. It’s all safe, casual conversation, but we’re okay.

They’ve forgiven me for my part in everything, but they’re still blaming Valerie for hers. Maybe that’s because even after myapologies, I didn’t give them the full story. I’ll never be ready to reveal everything, but I need them to understand.

“Why are you all so mad at her whenI’mthe one who quit?” I finally say into the silence.

“She cut us all out of her life after that last show.” Riker’s mouth twists into a sad, wry grin. “And she’s the reason you left the band anyway, right? You wouldn’t just give up on us.”

A lump forms in my throat, and I shift uncomfortably on the giant chair. “It wasn’t all her.”

If I hadn’t forced her hand…maybe this wouldn’t be a reunion at all. Maybe we’d be on album number five with a few Grammys to our name, the way we always dreamed.

“But it was mostly her, right?” Keeley asks dryly.

“No, it…” I swallow thickly, fighting back a lump ofsomething. Honestly, I haven’t thought about how that night made me feel in a really long time. It’s not that it made me cry—I’ve always been a crier, so that’s nothing new—but it made me feel so lost.

Everything that was important to me exploded beyond repair.

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