Page 50 of For One Night Only

RT:Well, there’s been a lot of speculation about your relationship with Valerie Quinn.

TB:[face sobers] Valerie is a…complicated girl. I’ve said all I need to say about our past relationship.

RT:You previously implied she cheated on you with Roxanne Leigh, but sources close to Ms. Quinn say that’s impossible. Do you stand by that statement?

TB:All I can do is share my own perspective. I should have known how she’d act. I learned a lot from that relationship, and I’m just doing my best to move forward. I’m going to be a lot more protective of my heart.

RT:What are your thoughts on the rumors about her and Caleb Sloane?

TB:[chuckles dryly] Good luck to him.

RT:What do you mean by that?

TB:The thing about Valerie is that she always needs to be in a relationship to feel validated, but she’s also incredibly calculated about how she chooses her romantic partners.

RT:Are you saying she uses people?

TB:I’m saying she’s very aware of optics and how they’ll benefit her career, which we all know is hanging on by a thread with the fate ofEpic Theme Song. I don’t know Caleb personally, but I’d imagine their history makes him vulnerable to…well, I’d hate to speculate. But if he is getting involved with Valerie, I just hope he knows what he signed up for.

RT:I guess we’ll all find out at that concert.

15

Valerie

Today sucks.

After Caleb left, we all dispersed to our rooms, the mood significantly dampened. Keeley asked if I wanted to hang out, but I lied and said I needed to shave my legs. Instead, I’m hiding out in my hotel room, curtains closed against the too-bright sun, pacing a line into the plush carpet.

My momstole from us. It might have been legal, but that doesn’t make it right. Part of me wants to wait out the contract and make another album just to spite her. Getting that news from Wade should have made me sick—but it felt like my first glimpse at true freedom.

I refuse to owe Tonya Quinn another damn thing.

If I could make a new album with full creative control, I wouldn’t feel so much pressure to survive in TV.Epic Theme Songtaught me to enjoy acting, at least a little, but all of this desperation to save the show? It’s because I feel like I have no other options. I didn’t go to college. I have money in savings, but I don’t want to be a washed-up has-been before I even turn thirty, living offconventions or begging for a spot on one of those dancing competitions for former stars losing their shine.

I want to keep making art that matters to people.

Returning toEpic Theme Songwouldn’t feel so dire if we could be the Glitter Bats again for good—but better, because Label wouldn’t be trying to mold us into these people we weren’t. We could start fresh. I’d have a direction for my future I could get excited about. The problem is, I presented this all wrong, again, and I scared Caleb off.

Just like I did when I rejected his proposal all those years ago.

At least today was a scheduled day off from practicing, because none of us are up for it, even with the concert a month out. The mood soured even more at brunch after Caleb left. Jane called her agent. Keeley ran down to the gym. Riker just started pouring a mimosa that was all champagne. It was clear we’d get nothing done today. We’ve all been going nonstop, and Caleb’s not in the right headspace. When I pace over by his door, I can’t hear him shuffling around, so he must still be out on a run. I hope he doesn’t hate me now.

Last night, it felt like everything between us could be right again.

I don’t know how I survived so long without his friendship. It’s not like I expect him to rekindle our romantic relationship—I know I hurt him too much for that to ever be a real possibility again—but it felt like we were friends, at least.

The other feelings are there too. Even totally exhausted, being wrapped up in his arms again was almost too much. My skin melted at his touch, just the way it did all those years ago. Maybe I never stopped loving him, but that’s okay. I can love him like this too.

I’d happily pine after him for the rest of my life if it meant hanging on to our friendship.

I sink to the floor and groan, pulling up the article that’s been hanging over my head…again. As if any of this wasn’t difficult enough, of course, Theo opened his big mouth—I’m starting to think he hasGossip Dailyon retainer. Ryan Tate has always been a problem, and when I watch the two of them together all I can see is obnoxious trust fund–boy energy. Like they’re entitled to the world.

They know they can say whatever they want, and screw the consequences to other people’s lives. I wish I understood what I did to make Theo want to destroy me. Hell,he’sthe one who said long distance wouldn’t work.

We were together for only six months, and it was mostly to be each other’s dates to award shows and premieres. I mean, I guess we had fun. The sex was mediocre (he thinks foreplay is optional and rarely reciprocated oral), and he was always a littletooexcited about the fact that I’m bisexual (almost as if my attraction to people is a reason to objectify me). But we laughed enough that it was worth playing out. Or so I thought.

He’s doing what he accused me of in the latest article: using the media to further his career. If anything, it should be obvious to the public that he’s just another loud person trying to cling to relevance as theFantastical Mystshype wanes. He doesn’t care who he hurts in the process.

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