Page 46 of For One Night Only

I’ve made a lot of stupid decisions this summer, but the worst by far is inviting myself into Valerie’s bed.

Nothing happened, but I’m still high onherwhen I slip back into my own room the next morning, giving her a few minutes to hit snooze. As soon as I’m alone, I sink against the door between our rooms and lean my head back, trying to catch my breath. Even with a wall between us, I can feel her effect on me.

Her sugar and lemon scent. The tousled pink waves tickling my shoulder. Sheets pulled taut because they’re wrapped around curves.

I am definitely not over Valerie Quinn.

She makes me feel like I’m eighteen again, nervous and jumpy and flushed, desperate to kiss my best friend. There’s no way I’m going to get through another day all jittery like this without doing something to burn off the energy.

Hating myself for it, I stumble into the shower, turn the water to scalding, and try to get off as efficiently as I can. Like I’ve done so many times over the years, I embrace my guiltiest fantasy. Iimagine it’s her hand instead of my own grasping my cock, water trailing down every delicious curve of her bare skin. I come embarrassingly fast.

God, if she knew what I was up to on the other side of her wall, she’d never let me back into her room.

There were a few times last night when I thought she might want me back, even before we shared the bed. Her eyes would linger on me too long, or her fingers would casually brush against my arm as we were scratching out lyrics and trying new melodies.

But there’s no way she actually still wants me.

After we cleared the air, I was reminded all too well that I hurt her just as much as she hurt me. Even if there was a future for us, I couldn’t expect her to try again. She’s obviously moved on. Hell, she might have only shared the bed last night because she pitied me, pining away for her from afar after she rejected my proposal.

But even though all we did was lie next to each other, something about it felt safe. Right. Like it’s something that never should have stopped.

My heart races as I try to make sense of that.

As I finish getting dressed and ready for the day, I think about how easy it would be to walk back into this life for good. The others are all still working in the industry, and they might be open to talking about a new album, no matter what they told Label. I don’t think a real Glitter Bats return is out of the realm of possibility, if I was on board.

I’m starting to wonder if leaving this life behind is really what I wanted, or if I was just running away from my problems.

But then my phone buzzes, and I shake off the thoughts. I need to get a grip. The text on my phone is from my older sister, Cameron, and I practically roll my eyes at the universe for the timing of her message.

Cameron:Hey! Hope the rock star life isn’t too terrible We miss you!

The text includes a selfie of her with Sebastian Bark laying his head on her shoulder. My dog is smiling, and Cam is making a pouty face.

My heart twists. God, I miss them.

She follows up almost immediately with a second text.

Cameron:Are you still planning to fly back in the middle of August? Carrie wants to pop down for a visit.

These past few weeks have felt like less of a brief visit to the musician life and more like an inevitable return, but I can’t believe she’s even asking. Of course I’m coming back after the concert. Cam’s text is a sharp, timely reminder that I can’t let Valerie lure me back to the industry. I need to focus on getting through the reunion so I can return to my life. Myactuallife in the real world. Reuniting with Glitter Bats is a fantasy, a temporary escape from reality.

Returning for good was never the plan. I have to be practical.

I shoot off a text to Cam:

Me:Yes! Maybe we can take Carrie to the coast if you can get the time off?

Cameron:Sounds perfect. I also wanted to let you know—Carrie mentioned these music schools like it when prospective students show up for in-person auditions in the fall. Did you know anything about that?

My stomach drops. Mom can’t afford to send Carrie to New York, and I absolutely can’t see her remembering to go with her even if she charged it all on another credit card.

I swallow thickly.

Me:No, but I’m happy to buy her plane tickets. I’ll take my personal days and go with her.

Cameron:I have some personal days too, and we can *split* the tickets.

I don’t want Cam using her money for this, not with what I’m doing this summer.

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