Page 87 of Beg, Borrow, or Steal

“Thank you for finding this, Annie. I needed it more than you know.”

—

“The pancakes will be out in a minute!” Amelia yells from James’s kitchen to where the rest of us are already gathered on the porch.

We all groan.

“I heard that!” she yells again. “But this batch is going to be good, I can feel it.”

We—meaning me, James, Annie, and Will—all look to Noah. He shakes his headnowith a quiet frown. We groan again. Amelia has been trying to perfect these pancakes since she and Noah met and they somehow have gotten…maybe not worse (because I’m not sure that’s possible), but different. Noah offered to finally give her his recipe and sadly for all of us, she declined. Her desire to make the perfect pancake is personal now. She doesn’t want his sorry old recipe; she wants to create her own.

Which means we’ve had to try every chewy, burned, crispy, and oddly gooey pancake under the sun. I’m convinced she’ll never accomplish it. And that’s not just pessimism, it’s history proving my point. The universe simply dumped too much talent into the singer/songwriter/performer part of her brain and had none left over for baking. This keeps life fair.

“Don’t worry,” James says, kicked back in his seat at the end of the large porch table. “I made scrambled eggs, biscuits, and bacon too.”

“And I”—Maddie jumps in, leveling James with a saucy look—“made grown-up food. A salmon and spinach quiche.”

“Yeah, and you destroyed my kitchen in the process. You better clean up before you leave.” Any of their earlier tension seems to be gone. They’ve sunk back into their normal routine of bickering over nothing.

She lifts an eyebrow at him. “Make me.” She then shoves his booted feet to the floor. “No feet on the table, Jamesie. Why can’t you be more civilized like Tommy.” Tommy is James’s younger, more selfish brother.

His boots hit the floor with a thud, and he sits forward so hisface is a few inches from Madison’s. “Civilized, meaning an asshole who’s obsessed with his own reflection in the mirror? No, thanks.”

“He’s not an asshole,” Madison says, and we all roll our eyes because even I can admit that he’s a little bit of an asshole. But he’s a gorgeous asshole, and for that reason, Maddie has had the biggest crush on him since she was little. Thankfully, Tommy rarely ever comes around Rome because he’s too busy doing whatever it is he does. (Mainly women, according to James.)

My brain immediately vaults itself back to another gorgeous man that I can’t get off my mind. Ugh. But every time I close my eyes, we’re back in my room and he’s looking at me like I’m the first sunrise after winter.

“Now, children,” says Will, putting his butterfly hand on James’s jaw and turning his scowling face away from Maddie. “Let’s not bicker at the table. It’s impolite. Whose turn is it to try Amelia’s pancakes, anyway?”

We all immediately hold up our thumbs and slam them down. James is the last one to get his thumb on the table. We point and laugh at him like the mature adults we are.

“Dammit!” He groans, hanging his head. It pops back up just as quickly. “Emily—you owe me ten bucks for the beer Friday night. I’ll call it even if you’re taste tester tonight.”

“No way.” I would pay him a hundred dollars right now just to ensure I didn’t have to take a single bite of that pancake.

He’s hunting for more prey around the table. “Annie…you know that flower discount I give you?”

“Don’t you dare try to take that from her!” I say, laying my palms flat on the table and leaning toward him. “You lost fair and square!”

Everyone continues to banter and bicker and poke fun at each other around the table and for a minute, all I can do is sit back and watch with a smile on my face. Sometimes I wonder what my parents would think if they could see us all grown like this, sitting onJames’s porch overlooking the vast farmland that’s been in his family for decades. The same farm my parents worked on when they first married and where my mom planted her flower crop.

I look at each of my siblings’ laughing faces (James included in that statement) as the string lights around the porch sparkle in each of their eyes—the sound of summertime crickets and some old country music playing in the background with Amelia cooking up something atrocious inside in the kitchen.

I live for nights like this with these people. They create the illusion that I’m within reaching distance of those comforting childhood days. But I can’t let myself dwell on that feeling too long anymore. I need to see this moment for what it is. Beautiful. Ever changing. We’re not kids, and Mom and Dad are not somewhere off in the distance. Annie is a woman with a thriving career and a man she loves. Noah is married with a wife (a world-famous one at that) and is soon going to support her on tour for a year. Maddie is out there getting her dreams and conquering the culinary world. And for the first time, while not trying to keep them hooked to a fishing line, I can think of the changes in their lives with some joy.

It’s okay that time is moving and changing. Maybe it’s okay if I move and change too.

“Aha!” James shouts, suddenly pointing at the porch door at my back, making us all startle. “He’s the last to arrive, so he has to be the pancake guinea pig.”

He?

Everyone turns and looks over my shoulder, and for some strange reason, I feel a change in the air. A chill runs down my spine like the warning of impending danger.Impending delight.

“You made it!” Maddie says happily, standing up from the table and going to greet—

Jack. My Jack.

And I watch as my traitor sister is givingmy Jacka hug.

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