Page 13 of Beg, Borrow, or Steal

The whole gang, however, visited her in New York over Christmas when she couldn’t make it home. It was Annie’s idea that we surprise her, and though I was worried how she would react to finding us there, she did seem genuinely happy we came.

Her apartment was too small for everyone to fit, so the couples stayed in a hotel and I smooshed into Madison’s bed with her. Those moments were good. Maddie and I fell right back into the same close groove we had before she left Kentucky, and I was hopeful that whatever the weirdness was between us since she’d been gone was all just a result of the physical distance and maybe we’d stay in touch better moving forward. But in the end, we went right back to missed calls and strained text messages.

Madison smiles now and I find myself dissecting it—wondering if it’s real or not. “Well, now it seems Ihaveto come home for two reasons. To meet my cat-niece and watch Emily slowly destroy her new neighbor,Jack Bennett!”

It’s going to be hard to keep the truth of just how bothered I amby Jackson moving in next door hidden from Madison because she’s the only one who has seen me interact with him the last few years. She knows firsthand how often we were at each other’s throats. But maybe this strangeness between us will come out in my favor for once and allow me to fly under the radar.

“First,” I say, dipping my head a little closer to the screen, “can we talk about why you’re sitting on the toilet in your bathroom? That’s where you are, right?”

“Yes,” she says casually. “But I’m not using it.”

Annie tilts her head. “And why are you whispering?”

The sly grin that covers Maddie’s mouth tells us the answer before the words are out. “There’s a guy in my bed. A cute chef from my program.” She shimmies her shoulders underneath her baggy T-shirt. Or I’m guessing,hisbaggy T-shirt.

“The same guy from a few nights ago?” Amelia asks.

“Nope.” Maddie has never looked more proud or mischievous.

An image of James Huxley, Noah’s best friend, staring longingly at Madison during Noah and Amelia’s wedding flashes in my mind. We were all raised together since our parents were best friends, and so in a way, James has always felt like my brother. I had never even considered that one of us could have felt differently toward him until I saw the way he looked at Madison.

It doesn’t seem like Madison has thought twice about James, though, since she left. Hasn’t thought twice about any of us.

“What’s this guy’s name?” I ask Maddie, trying to hold back from blurtingBe careful! Always use protection!

Madison waves me off. “Doesn’t matter. He won’t be around for long.”

Maddie is definitely more sexually adventurous than the rest of us. I think my siblings assume I’m just like Maddie in how much I hook up, but they’d be wrong. It’s actually a rare occurrence—especially lately. And when I do sleep with anyone, I never lingerafter. And I never bring men back to my place unless we are exclusively dating. Which hasn’t happened since Liam—my high school sweetheart, otherwise known as the person who first proved to me thatforeveris just an empty word that means nothing to some people—so basically I didn’t even need to mention the last part.

I really think I can trace most of my trust issues back to him. We had been together since freshman year of high school all the way through senior year. We were the couple that everyone voted Most Likely to Get Married. We were homecoming king and queen. We had plans. We were going to move in together and attend our local college with an aim to get married within two or three years. We were in love—real, honest-to-goodness love—and I believed our happily-ever-after with all my heart.

That is, until May 23 of our senior year—the date is etched into my mind—when Liam came to my house with a letter in his hand. He had applied to a college out of state without telling me and he was accepted. Not only that, he was going. He had a plan B all along that didn’t include me and had kept it a secret, even knowing that I was planning for our future. Noah was there; he had been eavesdropping outside my bedroom door for the entire thing. I’m not sure I’ve ever told him how grateful I am that he never pushed me on it when I told the family that the breakup was mutual.

But I was destroyed. I locked myself in my room for one day and cried it out, and then I made myself pick up the pieces of my heart and move on. (Publicly, at least.) Privately, I ached for so long. Between my parents dying and Liam leaving, my heart couldn’t take any more pain, so I boarded it up.

Now, romance is just not something I’m built for. I’ve grown into the soul of a woman made for getting shit done—something men don’t typically enjoy about me. A few years ago, I really put my back into it and set out to date as much as I could as a last-ditch effort to see if maybe my forever partner was out there. Not somegreat love, just a companionable person to spend my time with. None of them lasted long.

Brian couldn’t take it that I liked to stick to my daily routine. At least ten times he told me,Just go with the flow, Emily.Jeremy hated that if my order came back wrong, I’d (kindly) ask for it to be corrected instead of just eating it. Zane was offended that after two breakfasts in a row where he cracked shells into our scrambled eggs, I insisted on cooking them from then on out, because who wants to feel like they’re eating Pop Rocks while biting into eggs? And Harrison, he hated that I wouldn’t snuggle after sex. He was the only one who outright in the breakup speech said,I’m sorry. You’re just too cold for me, Emily.

Each of those guys were looking for women like Annie and Madison. But me? I’m more akin to a Brillo pad you keep under your sink for when you need to scrub out those really tough grease stains.

“Back to Jackson Bennett,” Maddie says, putting her eyeball so comically close to the screen I can see the outline of her contacts. “He’s your neighborandhe didn’t get married! Are you furious? Annie, tell me if that vein on the right side of Emily’s head is popping out.”

I take a leisurely sip of my coffee and then smile. “All this gossip is pointless. Believe me, Jack is nothing to worry about.”

“Why? And where did you hide his body?” asks Madison.

“There are much more creative ways to get rid of Jack. And you can rest assured that they’re all being implemented as we speak.”

Annie looks at me with a hesitant smile. “Okay, but can I just say this one thing?” She pauses. “Would it really be such a bad thing for him to be your neighbor? I mean…maybe y’all could become friends. Maybe if you stop fighting for a minute you’ll find something you have in common.”

Maddie and I exchange a look that stands as evidence that wewere once best friends, and then I turn to my tenderhearted sister. “Oh, Annie, I love you. But there’s no way in hell that Jack and I will ever be friends. Or neighbors.”

I can’t have him here. This ismytown.Mysafe place. Too much in my life already feels like shifting sand—I can’t have him invading the last solid plot of my life as I know it.

“How are you getting rid of him, then?” asks Amelia, pulling out a chair and sitting at the table with her coffee.

“My business is my own.”

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