Page 64 of The Off-Limits Rule: Extended Edition

“Buh-bye,” Lucy says with a catty squinty smile.

Ponytail Kate pushes by us, and Lucy whips around to me with wide eyes. “Be honest—how often does this happen to you?”

“Children running up and randomly bear-hugging my leg? This would be a first.”

“No, I meant how often do women try to pick you up in the bread aisle?”

I shrug like a player. “Not my fault I’m asnack,” I say, making her laugh and jab me in the ribs. “But seriously, this is the first time. Did you see her scary eyes? I’m worried to find out what she would have done to me if I let her take me home.” I shiver playfully.

Lucy’s shoulders relax. “Good. For a minute there I was worried you would be upset I interrupted.” She tries to pass her statement off as a funnyha-hamoment by chuckling, but it has an undertone of insecurity to it that I can hear from a mile away.

“Luce, I’m here for you—and eggs, but mainly you.” I grin and bend down, holding tight to Levi’s legs so he doesn’t topple off while I kiss Lucy’s cheek.Just her cheek; this is totally acceptable behavior.I watch her face turn my favorite shade of rosy, and she presses her lips together, hiding her smile.

“Okay, well then, let’s go get you those eggs.”

And then, without thinking, we abandon my empty cart, and I walk beside Lucy, Levi on my shoulders and her pushing a cart. She grabs a loaf of bread and tosses it inside the basket, and I do too. Levi leans to grab a bag of donuts from the top shelf, but I do a quick lunge. He laughs, and now it’s a game as I’m lunging up and down the aisle, quads burning and cheeks aching from too much smiling. I look like a cheeseball, one of those poor fools you frown and shake your head at for losing all his game when he chooses to lower himself to physical comedy for the sake of his kid.

Here’s what I never saw before, though: thosepoor foolsdon’t give a shit about their game because they don’t need it. If theirpartners are looking at them like Lucy is looking at me, they’re not having any trouble inthatdepartment.

We carry on through the grocery store, checking items off her paper list and seeing if they correspond with the mound of coupons clutched in Lucy’s rainbow-nail-polished hand, and I honestly can’t believe I’m enjoying this. I am, though. I’ve never felt more content, and I’m wondering if everyone out there getting ready to go bar crawling tonight knows how lit the grocery store canbe.

As Lucy walks close to me, her arm brushing against mine and her smile dimpling as she tells me about the intimacy advice the old lady who got a perm today gave her, I want to pin her up against the canned soups and try out some of the suggestions Lucy’s relaying to me via spelling so Levi doesn’t learn new things. And I would—I’m not afraid of PDA—except Levi is on my shoulders, so I have to behave. It’s good she brought Levi.

He tugs my right ear to signal which direction I’m supposed to turn, and Lucy slips her hand into mine. I should probably be focused on my own grocery shopping, but I can’t because I’m mesmerized by Lucy’s soft skin. She’s running her thumb up and down the side of mine, and I’m dying inside. How can that tiny touch spark so much insideme?

I’m seconds away from telling her we need to get out of here. Go home. Put Levi to bed. The groceries can rot in the car for all I care. I’ll replace them all in the morning, whatever. I just need Lucy.

“I need to pee,” Levi says from above my head, which is honestly a nice dose of reality.

“Whatever you do, bud, please hold it until I set you down.”

Lucy laughs beside me because she can see the sudden horror on my face. I may be getting better at the wholebeing-around-a-kid thing, but I’m not ready to be peed on yet. Not sure I ever willbe.

“Come on, buddy, I’ll take you,” Lucy says, helping Levi down off my shoulders.

“Mom,” Levi says in what I would describe as a courtroom voice, “Grammy lets me go in by myself when it’s just one bathroom. I can do it,” he says, pleading his case effectively, I would say.

Lucy and I both look toward the bathroom and note that it is a single-stall room. She looks to me for some reason—like she wants my opinion. Like my voice in this situation matters. And, somewhat strangely, I do not take this lightly. It feels big.Don’t screw this up, Cooper.

“Let me go in and make sure it’s not gross first.”

“Oh,” says Lucy, looking surprised. She wasn’t expecting that answer, and I wonder if it was weird. What exactly am I supposed to be looking for in here anyway? I don’t know…but just to be safe, I rip off a few paper towels and do a quick wipe-down because, apparently, becoming a parent also turns you into a janitor.

“There,” I say, opening the door like Superman, fresh from saving the whole freaking world rather than wiping some pee off a toilet seat. “All clear, bud. Have at it, and don’t forget to wash your hands.”

I nod. Levi nods. We’re just two men taking care of business—nothing to see here.

Levi shuts the door (and locks it, which is a little frightening), and I turn around to find Lucy staring at me with a quizzical smile that makes my stomach flip.

“What?” I ask with my own questioning grin.

She shakes her head. “When I first met you…I just never would have guessed you’d be like this.” She gestures toward the bathroom door.

“Like what?”

She inhales a deep breath and pulls her shoulders up toward her ears. “Soft. Sweet. I mean, I knew you had all the other qualities I like in a man—sexy, handsome, a big flirt, exciting…”

“No, no, go on. I like hearing how sexy you think I am.”

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