Page 62 of The Off-Limits Rule: Extended Edition

She shakes her headno.

I rub a little circle on her still-small baby bump. “Well—with or without him, you’re not alone anymore. You have me, and I’ll be here for you every step of the way if you’ll let me. And just because theunfortunate sperm don0risn’t in the picture doesn’t mean you’re any less of a family.”

“Thank you, Lucy.” Jessie sniffs. “And thank you for not promising me I’ll find someone someday, or this will all be worth it in the end, or any of that other crap. I hate when people say those things. It all feels so fake and empty.”

I roll my head to the side to look at Jessie. “I’ve seen too many of life’s twists and turns to make promises of sunshine and butterflies…but I can promise to hold your hand no matter whatcomes at you next.” She smiles and I add, “Well, that is if I don’t, like, die tomorrow or something.”

She can’t believe I just said that. “I don’t know what to do with you sometimes.”

“People rarely do. Now, did you save meanycandy?”

“You might be able to find a Skittle wedged under one of my boobs.”

I grimace. “I’m sure that would be a real treat for someone, but it’s just not doing it for me.”

“Fair enough. How did your night go?”

I unzip the side of my dress so my body can breathe and pull my legs up underneath me. My skin pops out like a can of biscuits when you first crack it open and the dough tries to jump out.

“It was one for the books, but here are a few highlights: Cooper is an excellent kisser. He also called Brent out for keeping me as his ‘back-burner option.’ Brent did not deny it. And after sitting silent for nearly fifteen minutes, Tanya abruptly broke up with Brent when it finally sank in how much of a butthead her boyfriend is.”

“Ooooh, I love public breakups. Did you film it?”

“No, I couldn’t get my phone out in time.”

“Amateur.”

“And then!”

“There’s more?” I knew Jessie would eat thisup.

“Much more. Brent left right after Tanya, but Cooper and I stayed and enjoyed the last bit of our fake date. Then, when we left, Brent was waiting outside for me.”

“No!”

“Yes. He asked to speak with me privately, and of course, Cooper was fine with it because he’s the best. But when Brent got me alone, he said Cooper was right, and he hadn’t realized it, but hehad always been keeping me in the back of his mind as the woman he would settle down with when he was ready. And that he thinks he’s finally ready.”

“Flattering.”

“Exactly. He tried to kiss me too, but I did that amazing move where you turn your face to the side and he only gets the cheek.”

“Savage!” Jessie is perched up on her knees now, listening intently. I’m happy my trainwreck of a life is giving her joy. I’m so giving.

“I got to tell him that I might have been waiting for him at one point, but not anymore. That I want someone who can see my worth from the start and he’d missed his chance. It would have been such an empowering moment.”

“Would have been?”

“Yeah, at the end of my speech, my decrepit bra gave up its will to live, and the fastener broke, giving these mom boobs the freedom to let themselves out the bottom of the cups like a dam breaking. It was quite the sight. Looked like I had two sets of boobs.”

Jessie’s mouth is wide open now, and she shakes her head, just now realizing I’m no longer wearing a bra. “How?! How do these things happen to you?”

“I’m special.”

Jessie matches my smirk. “Cooper definitely thinks so…is that a hickey?! Weren’t you not allowed to touch outside of the restaurant?”

Now I’m smiling like the Grinch. “Yeah. The restaurant got dinneranda show.”

Jessie and I both laugh, and it feels so good. Good to have a friend. Good to be home late. Good to know I’ll wake up in the morning to my favorite little boy and make pancakes. Everything feels good right now. How did I hold myself back from this for solong? I was trying to force myself into a picture of who I thought I should be, and it was suffocating. Now I’m here, I’m growing, breathing, and I might not be the exact image of what motherhood should be, but I am full of messy happiness, and that’s enough forme.

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