Page 4 of The Off-Limits Rule: Extended Edition

“Hmm…Cooper Pooper.”

“Don’t do that.”

“I have to. How will I remember his name otherwise?”

Drew doesn’t look at me as he secures the boat canopy. “Repeat it to yourself five times.”

“Cooper Pooper. Cooper Pooper. Cooper Poo—”

“Not what I meant, and you know it,” Drew says, looking over his shoulder with the same look the actors onSNLget when they try not to let the audience see them laugh.He missedme.

I shut my eyes and lean my head back, feeling the sun singe my eyelids and trying to imagine what terrible flaw of Cooper’s I will have to endure all day. Bad BO? Snaggleteeth? Greasy hair? Probably a heavy combination of everything.

I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m just going to lean back against the warm leather and sleep the day away. Drew forced me out here, but he can’t force me to smile or pretend I’m enjoying life with Pooper Scooper Cooper.See?I’ll never forget his name now. My method works.

I hear footsteps approaching on the dock, but my eyes feel too heavy to open. Probably all that MSG really settling into my bloodstream and trying to embalm my body.

“Hey, Coop,” says Drew, and I can feel my whole body stiffen with dread. He’s here. What’s it going to be? My money is on the BO. “Just throw your stuff over there by Lucy. Oh, by the way, that’s my sister.”

I guess that’s my cue to open my eyes and try to act like I don’t see the nasty hair-sprouting mole on the tip of this guy’s nose.

Chapter 2

Lucy

I open my eyes to sudden blinding light and the shape of a man; it’s hard to see him with the sun blazing over his head like he just beamed down from heaven. I lift my hand to shield my eyes and—oh my gosh, stop it right now!This can’t be one of Drew’s friends. Cooper Pooper is hot. My brain is short-circuiting looking at the miles and miles of lean, tan, toned,temptingmuscles. I’m sure I look feral staring at him. All my words are drying up and getting stuck in my throat like I’ve never seen a man before. But the truth is, I’ve never seen a man likehim—not outside of the movies, at least.

His tousled blond hair hangs in styled yet effortlessly beachy waves, just long enough to swoop over one eyebrow and curl up at the nape of his neck like ithasto be rebellious. His eyes are bright, kick-you-in-the-stomach, crystal-clear-Tahiti-water blue, and his smile is all blinding-white teeth against bronze tanned skin. Someone give me a piece of glass—I think I could cut it using hisjaw. All he needs is a wet suit and a surfboard and he would be Surfing Ken.

Maybe I already have sun poisoning and I’m just hallucinating. He’s too gorgeous to be real.

“Nice to finally meet you, Lucy.”The hallucination speaks!

And that means I have to speak too. He holds out his hand for me to shake, and suddenly I’m a weirdo who should never leave her house. My brain has never needed to act under this kind of pressure before and can’t handle the sight of his large hand waiting for my skin to brush against his, andwow,my mind is making this way more sensual than it needs tobe.

Because my thoughts are all tripping over themselves, I extend mylefthand (not my right, like a normal person would for a handshake) to receive his greeting. Yep, it’s true, and it’s painfully awkward as I wrap my fingers around his like I’m a dainty little English crumpet and then just kind of jiggle his hand side to side like it’s a fish.

Yeah, it’s cool, I’ll just jump off the boat now.

“Hhhhhhi,” I say, and then abruptly let go of his hand. I’m now a robot that’s just been doused in water and is malfunctioning.

His dirty-blond eyebrows climb up his forehead and mingle with his wavy locks. Then he gives me an amused, tilted smile, and my whole world flips on end. I’d bet he’s not fazed or all that surprised by my oddness because this is most likely a normal reaction when someone is faced with his masculine beauty. He just assumes this is how the world around him behaves.

Drew pops into existence beside Cooper and does that man-friend, slap-on-the-back thing. “Believe it or not, Lucy has given a handshake before, but she’s a little out of sorts from the move. And possibly an MSG overdose.”I’m going to kill him.

“It’s cool,” says Cooper with a melting smile that makes mewant to giggle like a freak. “And a breakup with your boyfriend, right? Drew filled me in.”

“Boyfriend?”

Drew scoffs with a smile. “Yeah.Tim—remember him? The reason you had melted chocolate smeared all over your face about an hour ago?”

I’m absolutely going to put laxatives in his coffee tomorrow.

My brother has never been less of a wingman. Clearly this is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen, so how about let’s not tell him I’ve been stuffing my face with candy and am a complete loser,yeah?

“Oh, yes. Him.Tim.Yeah, we broke up.” I make a slicing motion with my thumb across my throat, and now my statement seems slightly more vicious than intended. “Donezo. We’re over—totally over.”

He gets it. Stop talking, Lucy.

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