Page 31 of The Off-Limits Rule: Extended Edition

I shift in my chair, deciding to press the subject one more time. “Right. I hope it’s a good trip. But…just for the sake of conversation…it wouldn’t besoterrible if I dated Lucy, right?”

He scoffs and looks past me to flag down our waitress, holding up his empty glass. “It would be the absolute worst thing in the world for her.”

My eyebrows rise. “The worst? Wow. That’s…bad.”

The waitress walks up, and Drew orders another beer, asking me if I want one too, but I decline because I have a policy to only drink when I’m happy. And I don’t feel very happy anymore.

Once the waitress walks away, Drew leans his elbows onto the table and looks at me. “Listen, even though it makes us sound like kids to admit it, we’re best friends. I’d braid you a bracelet if I knew how. But really, all that means is I’ve seen too much to becomfortable with you dating my sister. You and I both know you’re incapable of a committed relationship, and Lucy needs someone who is going to commit to her and Levi for the rest of their lives. She deserves that.”

Drew is looking at me like we’re on the same team, like I’m going to nod and adamantly agree that I’m a player and will never be the family man Lucy needs. Well, guess what? I’m not nodding, because I don’t agree. In fact, I feel a little angry.

Problem is, I don’t have a right to be angry at Drew. I mean, I do in that he’s being a shitty friend to me by shutting me down right away, but it’s not entirely his fault. I was never honest with him, never told him about how long I was with Janie before. He has no idea that I’m capable of caring for someone long-term. Most likely he thinks I’ll sleep with Lucy once and forget her because that’s how I’ve operated most recently.

But now I’m tired of dating around. It’s not as much fun as it used to be. It was a phase I grew out of quickly, and now I just feel lonely. I could tell Drew all of this, but it’s not how we normally do things. We always keep our conversations pretty surface level, and that fact is annoying me in this moment when he isn’t even willing to talk this out with me. Ask me any questions. Nothing.

If he did, I’d tell him everything—about Janie, and how much I missed her at first, and why I had to move away. I’d even tell him about how, a few weeks ago (before Lucy even came into town), our friend Molly called me up at ten o’clock, seeing if I wanted to come over to her place. I told her I wasn’t up for a hookup that night because I was pretty tired from work and just wanted to chill. I invited her over to watch a movie with me though, and she declined, so I watchedThe Holidayby myself.

I want to tell Drew all of this. I want to tell him I want to watchThe Holidaywith Lucy. Explain that I don’t know how to interactwith kids, but I’m ready to learn. I would never string Lucy along, especially given her circumstances in life. I wouldn’t be bringing this up tonight if I wasn’t serious about my intentions.

But I don’t tell him any of that, because at this point it will sound like I’m being defensive, and no one wants to have to convince another person of their good qualities. If he doesn’t think I’m good enough for Lucy, maybe I’m not…or maybe I just need to convince him I canbe.

I’m not ready to tell Drew everything about me yet, but I think I should start to be more honest, at least little by little.

“I get it,” I say, leaning back in my chair and trying to find the right words. “Maybe I’m not right for Lucy, but I do think I’m ready to change some stuff in my life…pursue a serious relationship with someone.”

“That’s great, man. Just don’t let Lucy be your test subject.”

Test subject. Those words feel like acid on my tongue as I repeat them to myself on my drive home from the bar.Test subject.Is that really what he thinks I would do? It’s clear that Drew has a different opinion of me than I’ve had of myself. I don’t know; part of me wants to be ticked at him, but another part wonders if I’d react any differently if I had a sister and the roles were reversed.Nope.I’d probably be giving him crap too.

Lucy is officially off-limits. I know I need to get her out of my head, but I can’t.

And as I pull up to my house and park in the driveway, a queasy feeling settles into my stomach at the thought of not seeing her again. She’s unlike any other woman I’ve ever known, and I feel a pull to her that I don’t know how to deny. What if Drew is wrong and Lucy is the one for me that everyone talks about? My soul mate or whatever.

Shoot, even worse, my body is having a physical reaction to the thought of not seeing her again. I suddenly feel sick, and achy, and…okay, so maybe this is not entirely due to Lucy? What are the odds the burger I had at the bar gave me food poisoning?

Pretty high, considering the way I spend the next hour of my life. And because no one should be judged harshly for decisions they make on their deathbed, I don’t want to hear any crap about the fact that I call Lucy, hoping she’ll come over and take care ofme.

Chapter 13

Lucy

I’ve just finished singing Levi a song and scratching his back until he falls asleep when Cooper calls. It’s a little strange that he’s actually calling me instead of texting, but we’re friends, right? Friends call friends.

“Cooper. Hey,” I say in my totally-cool-I-have-cute-guys-calling-me-all-the-time tone.

“Hi, Lucy,” he says in a gritty voice that immediately makes alarms blare in my head.

“Why do you sound like you’re knocking on death’s door?” I ask while shutting my door so Drew doesn’t overhear.

He sounds like a lifelong smoker when he says, “Because I am, in fact, dying.”

“What?! What’s wrong?”Okay, Luce, let’s take it down just a bit.

“I have food poisoning. I can’t keep anything down.”

“Oh, Cooper. Where are you right now?”

He breathes deeply for two seconds before answering. “In my hallway. On the floor. I can’t make it to my room.” He sounds sopitiful and miserable that I can’t think of anything other than going straight over there and helping.

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