But it was the Spinners who’d shown me where he was. He was fated to die, too. He had to be. And I didn’t know Vigdis would order the army to Utan.
“I didn’t know,” I cried, trying to make the words true.
But it was no use. The closeness of the forest seemed to pull away from me, leaving me alone in the dark and the feeling of a thousand eyes on me crawled over my skin like a legion of worms devouring a corpse. Because even if the All Seer wasn’t watching, the Spinners were. And so were the gods. There was no way to escape their notice. Not after all I’d done.
I hadn’t planned the massacre in the glade but it was my rune cast that had justified it. I hadn’t ordered the Svell to Utan, but I’d summoned the Spinners to find the warrior who’d killed Bekan. I’d always known I was cursed. That something dark had marked me. It was the only reason the Kyrr would have sacrificed my life. Jorrund believed that Eydis saved me, but I knew the truth. She hadn’t saved me from Naðr.
Naðr just didn’t want me.
The screams softened, flickering out one by one until the silence of the night returned. Jorrund stood beside me, one hand touching my hair, but I pushed him off, getting back to my feet. We waited side by side in the minutes it took for them to lay waste to the village, until figures finally crept up the slope, moving back into the forest. The light of dusk caught the glistening of wet blood on armor and the warriors passed us, their gazes thin as they walked, the villageof Utan aflame in their wake. I watched their shadows move in the trees until they were gone. I didn’t want to see any more.
Vigdis and Siv were the last to appear. He marched toward us with Siv at his back, his chest heaving and his eyes cast up to me with the weight of a hundred stones. “They were waiting for us,” he growled.
“What?” Jorrund spoke beside me.
“They knew we were coming. They didn’t have a chance, but they knew.”
Siv’s gaze fell to the ground as she slid her axe back into its sheath. Even she couldn’t justify the massacre.
“And he wasn’t there.” Vigdis lifted his hand, rearing back and swinging his arm to slap me across the face.
I fell to the ground, my hands sliding over the wet soil as my mouth filled with blood. The entire side of my face ignited with sharp pain as I looked up. He stood over me, the full fury of his stare set on my face as I spit into the dirt, wiping the blood from my lip. “He has to be. I saw it.”
“You didn’t see anything. You lied to save yourself,” he spat.
“I swear to you,” I stammered, “he’s here.” I went to the edge of the tree line and looked down to the village gate. It was exactly as I’d seen it in the vision. “Or, he will be. I…”
“At dawn, we march to Hylli. If I don’t have his head in my hands, I’ll take yours instead.” He shoved into me as he stalked off into the darkness. “Stay with her,” he barked, meeting Gunther’s eyes as he pushed past him.
“I don’t understand,” I murmured, staring at the gate. I’d seen him there. So clearly. I’d heard the voice of the Spinners. My body still ached with the memory of it, the poison henbane throbbing beneath my skin.
“Tova, are you sure you…” Jorrund finally spoke.
“I saw it!” I shouted, my voice breaking.
They both looked at me, Gunther sliding his sword into its sheath. “Then, we wait.”
Jorrund untied his cloak and set it onto my shoulders but I pushed him away, going to stand at the edge of the ridge alone. I didn’t want his comfort. I’d just sentenced a defenseless village to die and if there was suffering to be had, I was deserving of it. The only difference between Vigdis and me was the mark of the eye on my chest.
The flames engulfed Utan below, and the bodies in the path lay still, a hollow silence falling over the cold forest. This is what Ljós must have looked like the night the Svell attacked. This is what would become of Hylli in only a matter of days, the sea inked red with Nadhir blood.
My hand went to the small leather purse against my chest, the runes tucked safely beside my heart. I wished I’d never cast them. I wished I’d never been found on that beach. A slow, frozen death adrift on the sea was better than this. It was kinder.
“If we don’t find him…” Jorrund said gently.
“It doesn’t matter,” I murmured, my voice hoarse.
“What doesn’t matter?”
“Any of it.”
“Why are you saying that? Of course it does.”
“It doesn’t matter if Vigdis has my head or if the Nadhir appears and cuts my throat himself.” I turned to look up at him, the tears now streaming down my face. “Because you’ve made me a bringer of death, Jorrund. And there’s no offering of reparation for a crime like that.”
“Tova.” He reached out to touch me, but I stepped out of his reach.
I blinked, breathing through the pain in my jaw from where Vigdis had struck me, the iron taste of blood on my tongue. It wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed, the truth scorching inside me with the burn of a blacksmith’s forge.