Page 10 of The Note

The cocktail they planned to have at the American Hotel had been followed by a bottle of champagne, and now they were on another round of drinks. Two hours of alcohol, and the only thing they had eaten were raw oysters and clams.

“You guys, can I admit something?” May asked.

“Ooh, yes, I love it,” Lauren said. “What is it? You’re having a torrid affair with the hottest faculty member? A final fling before the wedding? We want all your secrets.”

“First of all,hot law professoris an oxymoron. And no, nothing nearly that exciting. Ijust have to confess that every time I look up and see that dumb rental car, it’s like it’s gloating at us. I wish there was an open sunroof or something. I’d dump all these oyster shells in there.”

“Oh, you’re not alone,” Lauren said. “I don’t know why I got so mad, but I really did almost lose it on them. Thank the baby Jesus you talked us down, Kelsey. The last thing we need is someone who looks like me yelling at some cute little white couple. My ass could land in a Long Island jail.”

“I know exactly why it made you so mad,” May said, leaning forward as a customer at the next table slid behind her to leave. “Because theyknewwe were waiting. And they didn’t care. Because something is broken in people now. Rules don’t matter. Basic decency doesn’t matter. And it’s not just that they did it. They wereproudof it. They loved getting away with it. It’s like there’s no such thing as shame anymore. So it’s not just about a parking spot. It’s the whole fucking society.” She realized that Kelsey and Lauren were sharing an amused look. “What? I’m serious. People are objectively horrible now.”

Kelsey laughed first, but Lauren laughed louder. “And you’re so drunk now,” Lauren said.

“It’s not funny. You’re the one who said you didn’t understand why it got you so mad. And I just explained it. And I’m totally right. Like, the-world-needs-to-pay-attention level of right.”

“Oh, we didn’t say you weren’t right,” Laurensaid, shaking two big drops of Tabasco sauce onto an oyster. “It’s still extremely entertaining though.”

“They have to come back to their car eventually. I’m tempted to say something when they do.” She leaned forward again, this time for the busser who was clearing the recently vacated neighboring table.

“Maybe you should write down everything you want to say to them instead,” Kelsey suggested. “It might help to get it off your chest. At least that’s what my therapist says. Or also, maybe it would just be really funny to have a pissed-off cocktail-napkin rant from Drunk Riled-Up May as a vacation memento.”

“Yes, that sounds a hundred percent accurate,” Lauren said, pulling a pen from her purse and resting it on a bar napkin. “I’m totally here for it.”

With both sets of their eyes on her, May figured she may as well do as instructed and began writing as quickly as she could.

Hi. We were waiting patiently for this parking spot. We did not honk at or rush the person who was leaving, because we are not mean and rude. You saw us waiting yet took the spot anyway. That was extremely unkind, especially at a time when people have been through a lot and need a little more kindness. I hope in the future you will choose to be more considerate.

The napkin was almost full, so she wrote “over” at the bottom before turning to the back for more room.

Also, we could have recorded you and posted the video, but decided to be kind instead.

Her friends barely suppressed their amusement as they read the note shoulder-to-shoulder in silence.

“Don’t you think that last part would scare them?” May said. “Make them realize how obnoxious they were and how we could have posted their faces on the internet?”

“I think they would make some kind of Boomer joke and throw it in the garbage,” Lauren said.

“Yeah, that tracks,” May said. “But down on the sidewalk because they’re the types that don’t give a flying fuck.”

While a group of women paused next to the hotel porch for a group selfie, Lauren began scrawling on a new napkin. She finished quickly. “Now that’s how you do payback.”

He’s cheating.

He always does.

May turned and stared at Lauren, her mouth open in a shocked smile. “Oh my god, you just thought of that?”

Lauren shrugged. “What can I say? That’s just where my brain went. It doesn’t make me a bad person.”

“No, but it might make you a sociopath,” May said.

Kelsey laughed so hard that May thought she might spit her Manhattan from her nose. “A hilarious sociopath,” Kelsey added, once she caught her breath.

“Can you even imagine how delicious it would be if they came back to their car and found that?” May said. As she giddily imagined the scene, she realized that the drinks were getting to her. “Like, how could he even begin to explain it away? Some stranger just made that up and left it on a random rental car?”

“Well, they certainly wouldn’t be strolling all around, hands all over each other like a couple of newlyweds,” Lauren said.

May thought she heard a twinge of jealousy in Lauren’s voice. To May’s knowledge, Lauren’s only long-term relationship had been with the man who had landed her in the public-scandal hopper: Thomas Welliver, the Dallas oilman who co-owned Wildwood with his wife.

---