35
Lauren took the liberty of switching the pool speaker to her favorite “yard party” playlist as a break from the reggae Nate had been streaming nonstop for the past two days. Nate had volunteered to make a grocery run for their dinner provisions, and Kelsey was reading a Megan Abbott novel on the chaise longue next to hers. As “Lovely Day” by Bill Withers came over the speaker, Lauren tried to gauge if Kelsey’s eyes were actually scanning the pages. She could tell that Kelsey was struggling to cope with David’s death and all the questions it raised.
Lauren moved from the playlist on her screen back to the daily bee, knowing that Kelsey would appreciate the distraction. Nate had chipped in with a few hard-to-find compounds, and now she and Kelsey were missing only two words. They had cheated by looking at the hints and knew that both missing words started withb. One was a musical instrument and the other was related to bacteria, but they were hopelessly stuck.
“Have you found them for us yet?” Kelsey asked, resting her book open against her flat belly.
“No, and it’s driving me batty. I’m certain we’ve had these words before—multiple times—but we never remember them.”
“You know who probably has them, don’t you? She always gets the science words, and I distinctly remember her knowing about a certain kind of musical instrument that not evenyouhad heard of.”
May had texted Lauren this morning to offer another apology, but Lauren wasn’t ready to accept it.I never meant to hurt you. I thought you were being taken advantage of and was trying to help.Lauren knew her relationship with Thomas was complicated and unconventional, but she had never questioned her own voluntary participation in it until the Me Too movement made it clear to her that modern notions of consent were different than the ones she had always accepted.
May was only nine years younger than her, but even that age gap was enough to explain whyMay would simply assume that the dynamics of wealth and power would make Lauren a victim in any sexual relationship with Thomas. But when those conversations became omnipresent after the Weinstein stories opened the floodgates, Lauren had replayed her entire relationship with Thomas and still saw it for what it was—two people who loved each other without needing the confines of traditional monogamy. And it wasn’t May’s place in 2008 as a twenty-two-year-old busybody to question the decisions of a grown woman with agency.
She did have to admit that May’s text reply ofbest wishes, warmest regardsafter Lauren wished her well had made her laugh. May was always trying to be the nice girl, but someday she’d realize that the people closest to her loved her for the other parts, including her inner snark.
“Okay, I’m giving up,” she announced. She pulled up the Canceled Crew group thread and searched forbacteriaand thenmusical instrument.“Got them both. Sure enough, May was the one who found these same words five months ago.”
“Just tell me. I’ll never get them.”
“Bacilli and balalaika. Seriously, how does that girl know these things?”
When she looked up from her phone, Kelsey was studying her with a puzzled expression. “You’re really not going to talk to her again?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
“She’s not the only one who was keeping thatinformation from you,” Kelsey said. “I also could have told you.”
“But only if you betrayed your best friend. It’s not the same.”
“We were just kids, and it was before Marnie died and the three of us got closer to each other. You never would have known except she pissed me off and I acted like an asshole.”
“She was out of college, on her way to law school. That’s a grown-ass woman. And honestly? Has she even changed? We call her the ‘little sheriff’ for a reason. There’s a self-righteousness that borders on the edge of sanctimony. I think deep down, May is a really angry person.”
“May?” Kelsey said, shaking her head with a chuckle. “Who apologizes twenty times a day? I think I’ve seen her mad, like, three times in our whole lives.”
“Well, she was running red-hot at you the other night.”
“I can’t really blame her. I dragged you all into this mess with Dave.”
“No, I’m telling you. She’s been pressured her whole life—by her mom, by society—to be a smart, perfect, docile little girl. She hates it. That incident on the subway platform might have been the tip of the iceberg. One of these days, she might completely lose it. Like Celie inThe Color Purplewith a knife to Danny Glover on Thanksgiving.” Lauren made an explosion soundwith the accompanyingboomhand gesture. “Speak of the devil.”
A new text message from May.Hey, I know I’m not your favorite person right now, but I just got an email from a Long Island reporter named Tamara Linton asking about Kelsey, and I think it has something to do with this. Thought you should know because if I’m right, she’ll probably contact you too. And not that you want my advice, but I would at least keep an open mind about what else Kelsey might be hiding.
The text was followed by two screenshots from some message board called KillerInsights. The conversation thread made clear that someone knew that the police were looking at Kelsey as the common link between David Smith and Kelsey’s husband. May and Lauren had both been named as the friends who were in the Hamptons with her.
She checked her email and found a recent message from the same reporter.
“I think you need to see this,” she said, switching her screen back to the message from May. She scrolled past the part about doubting Kelsey’s innocence to show the two screenshots from the KillerInsights message board.
As she read, Kelsey chewed at her lower lip so hard that Lauren was afraid she might draw blood. “And a reporter fromNewsdayemailed both May and me asking about you.”
She was shaking her head as she returned Lauren’s phone. “I can’t believe this is happening again. Why in the world would I hurt Dave? We were on the verge of getting back together. He was going to be my future. Now that’s all gone and they think I would do that not only to him but to myself?” Kelsey was practically yelling by the time she was finished.
“It’s going to be okay, sweetie.” Lauren reached over and gave Kelsey’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “They can’t prove something that didn’t happen.”
“Tell that to all the people who rotted in jail after wrongful convictions.”