Page 23 of Find Me

Next to her, Scott held out his hand toward the open car window. “Hi. Scott Parker.”

“Oh sorry,” Lindsay said. “This is Detective Decker. I’ve mentioned him to you.”

Decker gave Scott’s hand a quick shake. “I can only imagine.”

“Why are you suddenly helping me?” Lindsay asked.

He tapped the steering wheel a few times before answering. “Look, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Hope’s case may not meet the markers for the response you’re looking for from the police department, but we also serve a community caretaking function, and you’re still looking for your friend. I’m not your enemy here.”

“Did you even bother to look into the College Hill Strangler case?”

Lindsay could see that Scott was thinking of intervening, but she gave him a look that made him stand down.

“Not that I’d normally share this information,” Decker said, “but yes, I’ve been in contact with the Wichita Police Department, our own major crimes team, and the FBI. As I explained to your father, there’s no reason to believe that particular case is connected.”

“So you just let women disappear under your jurisdiction and don’t give a rip?”

“I never said that. But maybe it’s possible you’re paying too much attention to a random DNA sample.”

She shook her head. “And maybe you’re not paying enough attention... to anything.”

“Well, you’ve got my email for those flyers if you want to use it.”

As he drove away, Scott finally spoke. “So that’s Decker.”

“I told you he was an ass. He’s already made up his mind about Hope. I don’t trust him. And what was that ‘Hi, Scott Parker’ thing?”

“You didn’t tell me that he’s hot for you.”

“You have to be kidding me.”

“Lindsay, come on. That guy was totally flirting with you.”

“He’s cocky and arrogant. I think what you see as flirting is hisdefault position. That’s not why you came out here today, is it? To scope out the competition?”

“Oh my god, of course not. I came because I know I’ve upset you by not being more worried about Hope, and I wanted to make it right.”

“I mean, not everyone is capable of cheating.” She regretted the words the second she heard them leave her mouth.

“Wow. Okay, so youaremad at me.”

The first time Lindsay asked why his marriage didn’t work out, Scott had said all the right things. That he had fallen in love with someone else. That it didn’t justify crossing that line while he was still married. That he had ended up hurting two women he cared about and breaking up his daughter’s family. That he would never forgive himself and wished he could go back in time and change it all. And that it was a mistake he would never, ever make again. Lindsay could not have asked for more honesty.

But here’s the thing: sometimes she wished she didn’t know. It changed how she saw him. If he could fall in love with someone else while he had a wife and a baby, who was to say he wouldn’t do the same to her? What had he been missing in his marriage that allowed him to accept his attractive coworker’s invitation for a nightcap at the hotel bar in the first place? It made her wonder if at some level, Scott would always need more love, more assurances, more adoration, more whatever-it-was-that-certain-men-needed, than she could ever possibly give him. Was that the reason he always joked that she’d never love him the way she loved Hope? Or why he insisted that some cop was flirting with her? How long before whatever justification he had used to rationalize his betrayal of his ex-wife might be wielded against her as well?

“I’m sorry. I’m . . . frustrated. I didn’t ask you to come out here with me, and I can’t forget that until now you’ve been sounding pretty convinced that Hope just up and left because she wanted to get away from me. Honestly, I think part of you is actually happy that she’s gone.I’m killing myself trying to find her, and you’ve made these passive-aggressive comments like we never give each other space.”

“It’s not passive-aggressive. It’s just...true.” He opened his mouth to say even more, but caught himself and pressed his lips together instead.

“What?”

He shook his head as if he were already regretting his next words. “Let’s just say that I’m not the only person who thinks you and Hope are sort of codependent.”

“That’s such a gaslighting thing to say, Scott. ‘I hear people saying.... Everybody tells me....’ Who, Scott? Who thinks Hope and I are so screwed up?”

“Your father.”

She scoffed. “My fatherlovesHope.”

---