Page 55 of The Better Sister

Nunzio walked to his counsel table and picked up one of several thin stacks of paper lined in a row. I could see that some lines had been highlighted. “You’re a loser, a druggie zombie.” Olivia was on her feet, objecting, but Nunzio kept reading. “You’re losing your mind, just like your mother. Is that what you want? To be a dysfunctional invalid?”

I didn’t know the source for the phrases Nunzio was quoting, but it was obvious whom they were about. I tried not to look at Nicky as Olivia argued. I was convinced that as long as she didn’t have to see my eyes right now, she’d be able to make it through this without breaking down.

“This is outrageous, Your Honor. I have no idea what the prosecutor is reading from. It has not been provided to the defense in discovery, and I see no basis for its relevance.”

Judge Rivera called the lawyers to the bench again, and this time I could overhear bits and pieces of their conversation.Said they were normal father/son. Impeach her testimony. Discovery violation. Ambush.

When their huddle broke up, Rivera announced that the jury should ignore the material that Nunzio had read from the documents, and then Nunzio announced that he had no further questions for me. Olivia had no cross-examination, but reserved her right to call me back to the stand as a defense witness. Rivera then announced a brief recess so the lawyers could confer with her privately.

I was stepping down from the witness chair as Ethan rose from his to follow Olivia into the judge’s chambers. As we passed each other, I reached out a hand, and his fingertips grazed mine. The sheriff’s deputy at his side shook his head sternly, but I mouthed a silent “Thank you” for the brief moment.

Once I resumed my spot next to Nicky, she leaned close to my ear. Her whisper was intense. “What was all that loser druggie stuff he was reading?”

I shook my head. I had no idea, but it sounded exactly like something Adam would say.

Nicky and I remained in our seats for the entire recess. We had learned that reporters who had no qualms about yelling out questions and snapping photographs in the hallways and restrooms would not approach us within the four walls of this courtroom.

Nearly forty minutes later, Nunzio, Olivia, and Ethan emerged from the judge’s chambers. The bailiff headed for the courtroom exit, which I had learned was a sign that he would soon return with the jurors.

To my surprise, Olivia bypassed the counsel table and crossed the bar into our section of the courtroom. “I need poker faces from both of you right now, okay?” Neither of us flinched. “We’ll only have one more witness today, and I don’t want the jury here looking at the two of you when he testifies. So you’re going to stand up right now, walk out calmly, and go back to the hotel and wait for me.”

“Is this about the argument Nunzio seemed to be quoting between Adam and Ethan?”

She shook her head. “No, but we need to talk about that, too, so I’ll meet you after court lets out.”

“Olivia, what’s going on?”

“Poker faces, remember?” We both nodded. “The next witness is the police department’s tech guy. Ethan is KurtLoMein. Now go.”

29

Olivia had only one copy of the printout. I held it while Nicky and I read it together, perched side by side on the edge of the hotel bed.

It included every single message that KurtLoMein had ever posted on Poppit. The bulk of them were about video games like Fortnite and 2K, but a disturbing number hinted at feelings of isolation and resentment, both against parents who no longer seemed to understand him and girls who refused to pay attention to him. He was also a frequent participant in threads about #ThemToo and specifically about me.

It wasn’t only the clever name that had made this Poppit user stand out. Instead of the typical let’s-all-rape-the-man-hater posts, the person always wrote with such authority, appearing to claim some form of insider knowledge. He portrayed me as weaker and less secure than the persona I had managed to cultivate. That I was only pretending to be strong. That I was a hypocrite.Full of tough talk about the world needing to change the way it treats women, but she’s a coward in her own life. Cares more about her picture-perfect image than actual reality.That one had hit particularly close to home, and now I knew why.

In fact, every one of KurtLoMein’s posts about me was negative, until the final one—a reply to widespread speculation on the website that I had killed Adam:We shouldn’t jump to conclusions. For all we know, she’s a victim, too.The note was published only hours before Ethan was arrested for the crime.

“How can they be sure this was Ethan?” I asked.

“They can’t, but they definitely know it came from his laptop, which was logged in variously at your apartment, house, and Casden Prep. We’ll lose the jury if we even try to argue it’s someone else.”

“But maybe Ethan knows who—”

Then I realized she would have already asked him. Ethan would have already confirmed that he had written these awful things about me.

“Why did he do it?” I asked.

“That’s not for me to try to explain to you. I’ll argue that kids say things they don’t mean when they’re online. I’ve already got a call in to an expert witness from Yale who writes about adolescent social media use.”

“Most of those jurors have kids,” I said. I couldn’t stop rereading the words, each one like a punch to the stomach. “They’re going to know this isn’t normal.”

“Unfortunately, we also need to talk about this.” She opened her laptop and clicked on a message near the top of the in-box. As the attachment slowly downloaded, she explained what we were about to see. “The quotes Nunzio started to read from in the courtroom? When he asked about tension between Ethan and Adam?” We both nodded to indicate we remembered. “The police found a video on Ethan’s laptop. It looks like he recorded this without Adam knowing about it. It was two weeks before the murder.”

We sat in silence until the file had downloaded. Olivia hit play.

We were all the way to the Montauk Highway before Nicky turned off the Howard Stern station.

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