Page 14 of That's Not My Name

Mr. Scott puts his arm around her shoulder and shakes his head at me. “Get out of here, Drew. And don’t come back.”

He guides his wife up the porch and vanishes inside, slamming the front door behind him.

I have no idea how long I stand there, but at some point, it starts raining. I drag myself across the intersection. Having the whole town hate me is awful, but his words are a red hot poker to the guts. I keep finding myself in places I don’t belong today.

“Hey, asshole.”

I jump and spin toward the voice.

Autumn’s sitting on the curb across the street, just beyond the streetlight. Watching me.

Irritation bubbles up inside me, but I’m so exhausted that it dies there. She’s been like an extra shadow these last few weeks. Everywhere I go, she’s always in the background, glaring at me like she’s hoping I’ll burst into flames and she’ll get to watch me burn.

“What are you doing here? Following me again?” I mean to sound harsh, but it comes out a strangled whisper.

Autumn stands and pushes back the hood of her silver glittery sweatshirt. She looks like a furious disco ball as she walks into the light. Waves of long red hair fall from where she’d tucked it back. “How dare you come to her house? You have balls even coming to this neighborhood after what you did.”

“For fuck’s sake. I didn’t do anything.”

“You and I both know that’s not true,” she says, stuffing her hands into her sweatshirt pockets. “Lola was my best friend, and I’ll be damned if I let you get away with this.”

“Is.”

“What?”

“Is. Sheisyour best friend. Present fucking tense,” I yell, stepping toward her.

She recoils, fear blossoming across her face. She backs up and glances toward her house up the road—mapping an escape from Big Bad Me.

I shake my head. I can’t get used to people who’ve known me all my life treating me like I’m a monster. Hell, I knew Autumn long before Lola and I started dating, not that it stopped her from turning on me too.

I don’t want her to be scared of me though, no matter how angry I am with her. I keep my distance. “I didn’t hurt Lola. I never would, and I’dneverhurt you either. So why don’t you stop following me and go tell your father to do his job and find her.”

She folds her arms, regaining some of her bravado. “He’s the sheriff. He’s supposed to question suspects. Heisdoing his job. The only way he could do it better is by locking your ass up.”

“Whatever, Autumn. If you put half as much energy into looking for Lola as you do harassing me, she’d be home by now and we’d all be in a lot less misery.”

I stalk off in the direction of my car.

“I’m not falling for the steadfast boyfriend act,” she yells behind me. “You did something to her and everyone will know the truth eventually.”

Her words hit like a slap. I turn, barely recognizing the hostile person staring back at me. “You know what’s funny? If the tables were turned, there isn’t a person on this Earth who could convince me you were capable of hurting anyone. I’d defend you until the end, Autumn. When she comes home, I don’t want to hear how sorry you are for stabbing me in the back. I’m fucking done with you.”

Regret fissures down her face before she wipes it away. “You think Iwantedto find out my friend is a monster? I wanted to defend you, but history only goes so far. I know you’re to blame. I’ve known it for weeks.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means I may not know what you did, but I know all this is your fault.” She stomps toward her house around the corner, leaving me alone with a knot in my stomach.

Because she’s absolutely right. Thisisall my fault.

I am to blame.

The rain slowly picks up, growing to a full downpour by the time I reach the Trooper. Water soaks through every layer of my clothes, down to my bones. I shiver all the way home, but I don’t bother with the heater.

Call it penance.

I park in front of my house, surprised to see only two cars in the driveway. My parents’ matching silver Volvos. The rest of the family must have gone home already.

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