Page 31 of Desired

She touches my arm. “You know I love you like a sister, Moira. I’m only telling you this because I care, and I don’t want to see you throw it all away again, just because your da is dying. Like you said, he’s been dead to you already for a long time.”

I look at her. She’s right. But it’s a hell of a difference between a person hypothetically being dead to you, and distancing yourself from them by choice, and them actually being permanently gone from your life. I’m a doctor, and I’ve seen grief through my patients, and in my own experiences, when my granddad died. Part of me can’t help but worry that I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t go, but another part of me is worried that I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I do. I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t. But as much as I love Steph and I know that she means well, this decision is mine and mine alone.

...let’s just hope that I make the right one.

Declan

I get a call from Connor, asking for me to meet him in his office, so I trot over, wondering how the hell he works so fast. It’s only been a day since I asked him to dig into James McTavish’s medical status. But there’s a reason why we keep this lad on the payroll, and this is it. He works fast, he’s damn good, and he’s never led us into troubled waters. His team is the best, as far as I’m concerned, and I get it why da was so pissed at Maverick for leaning on someone not up to snuff for such a sensitive project.

His door is open when I arrive. It’s no mistake that Connor’s office is only steps away from da’s office. They often collaborate on many things, and for that reason, Connor’s office is just as classy as the rest of ours. He deserves it and he needs it to get the job done right the first time. “Declan, come on in. Close the door.” He states, sitting back in his desk chair. His face is set in the usual ‘no bullshit here’ stance. His office is pristinely clean and tidy, with no papers or nick nacks hanging about anywhere. Save for a couple of books on his bookshelf, Connor’s space is about as organized as a highly paid government worker.

“What have you got, Connor.” I say as I sit down in the guest chair.

He grunts and clears his throat. “Well, you’re not going to like it, lad.”

“Lay it on me.” I tell him, sitting back, interlacing my fingers together.

He exhales and clears his throat. “James McTavish is no sicker than I am. His medical records don’t even show him as seeing a doctor of any type since his last medical a year ago, and that was mandatory for some bullshit license he has. The man is a fraud.”

I stare over at the window, thinking about what my next step should be. I don’t want to crush Moira, but I also don’t want her to get sucked into his life again. “What’s the status on his case?”

“You want the truth, it’s a fucking mess, Declan. He’s being held in custody for a battery of charges, including murder, but because he’s as broke as shit, his lawyer has been appointed, and clearly dragging his fucking heels. It’s clear why he’s reached out to Moira with this ass-hat lie...the man is desperate. From the look of it, he’s going to rot in jail, anyway, so he might as well be dead.”

“Fuck.” I mutter under my breath. “And she says that her testimony will free him, which is why she isn’t going to testify against this former assistant of her da’s. Makes more sense why he’d try to pull another fast one.”

“Exactly. The lass was brilliant moving out here to the states, but the son of a bitch still found her. I’m just surprised that he’s waited this long. Do you know how many charges are against him? The guy is a career criminal. It’s no mystery why she’d drop him like a bad rash. The lass is a respectable doctor. She wouldn’t want to get mixed up with him again.”

“I’ll see to it that she doesn’t.”

“How are you gonna do that, mate? Without having her deflect her disappointment and disapproval of her da onto you?”

“I don’t know, but it’s better than having her get involved with that sack of shit again.”

“You think she’ll be daft enough to let him pull the wool over her eyes again, Declan?”

“I’m not willing to find out.”

I’m about to rise, when he stops me. “Declan, sit down, man. Hear me out.” He’s got his straight up, ‘level with me’ tone in his voice, which means to pay attention. I sit my ass back down, wondering what else he can tell me to ruin my day, but then I hear a knock at the door, and we both look at each other, knowing full well that that’s da’s knock. “Come in, Dougall.” Connor calls, before he gets the chance to say what’s on his mind.

“Ah, Declan.” He says, with a semi-warm look on his face. Da walks in and closes the door, but he doesn’t take a seat. Instead, he just looks at Connor, and I realize that da already knows what I just found out.

“Da, before you say anything, I want to warn Moira.”

Da raises a hand. “Declan, you go to that lass and tell her her da is as honest as the fucking devil and it’s over. Now, I want you to take the jet, bring her to Scotland to see her da, and let her learn it for herself. She’s a smart lass, Declan. And you breaking her heart is way worse than her da doing it. You’ve heard the story, and you know damn well that he’s done it before. He’ll do it again in a heartbeat.”

My teeth grit together as I think about it. “And what if she finds out what I already knew, hm? Don’t you think that’s a betrayal she’ll not be willing to overlook again? Thanks to Maverick, we’ve already nosed through her personal life once before, da. She’ll never fucking trust me again.”

“Don’t be a fool, Declan.” Da tuts. “You’re not feeding her to the lions, son. She knows that you’re here to protect her.”

“Then why should I bring her to the son of a bitch, anyway? Why wouldn’t I just warn her myself? Save her the heartbreak of seeing the bastard again, only to find out that he’s still a lying sack of shit?”

Da tilts his head, but he’s not relenting. “If she’s willing to go see him, Declan, then she hasn’t learned her lesson. In this family, you betray once, it’s over forever, no matter what. She keeps letting herself fall victim to him, she’ll always be a victim, Declan.”

“But she’s not part of our family, goddammit!” I shout. “Jesus, da! It’s not my place to do this to her! I can’t let her set foot in that prison, knowing full well that she doesn’t need to be there! That this asshole is trying to take her for all that she is! All that she’s worked hard for! And...since when do you care so goddamn much, da! Don’t we have enough bullshit in our lives?! Why do we have to branch out to Moira’s family, too!” I’m pacing next to him, back and forth, as he watches me. The son of a bitch knows exactly what I’m going to say as I say it. I can tell by his unimpressed, impassive expression. And he’s going to say less than ten words to put me in my fucking place. I just know it. I look at da and wait.

He swallows, looks down at the glossy, polished floor, and says pointedly. “Why do you care so much, Declan.” It’s not a question. He’s being rhetorical. He knows damn well why I care so much, and he’s letting me know, because apparently, until now, I didn’t know. I love Moira. I love her so fucking much it hurts. It hurts knowing that she’s about to be crushed, once again, by someone who is supposed to love her unconditionally. Someone who should love her unconditionally, because she deserves it. Moira is a wonderful woman. Smart, beautiful, caring, funny, and best of all, she doesn’t give a damn about money. Not hers. Not mine. Not anyone’s.

Da doesn’t let me respond, for I don’t have a response, because he’s right.

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