Page 27 of Desired

After she sticks her finger inside and tears the seal, she opens it, and she covers her mouth with her hand. A tear falls down her cheek, and I’m almost afraid to ask what she’s reading. “Oh my God.” She gasps, and then swallows, as a stream of tears falls down her cheek.

My voice is almost a whisper as I turn so that I can read what she’s reading. “He’s dying, Declan.” She answers before I get a chance to read it. “It’s cancer. Pancreatic.”

I don’t know what to say. What do you say? I can’t think of anything that would make her feel better, so I just rub her back. “What can I do, Moira?”

“Nothing.” She breathes. “Pancreatic cancer is almost one hundred percent incurable. And patients die very quickly. He hasn’t got much time left.”

I read through the document, looking for...what…I don’t know. But I don’t get far enough to see what she’s seen, and she pulls it away, stuffing it back into the envelope, as though hiding it will make it untrue. “What else does it say, lass?”

“He wants to see me one last time.” She answers, wiping the tears from her eyes.

I’m careful with my words. “How do you feel about that?”

A quick exhale. “He’s my da, Declan. It wouldn’t matter if your da was in prison for murder, you’d see him, right?”

I nod, knowing full well that I would. “Aye. But you should take heed, Moira. Your da is much different than mine.”

A hand goes to her waist, while her face changes, as does her tone. She’s irritated. “Declan, I know that your da isn’t incarcerated, but he’s also not dying, like mine is. I haven’t seen him in years, and I never wanted to. I’m not even sure that I do now, and I don’t know what that means.” She exhales again, and a fresh batch of tears falls down her cheeks. “God, I used to run to him, and I’ve been a sucker to him all along, I just...I couldn’t handle it anymore. I knew that I had to create distance between us, or he’d ruin me.”

“So, don’t go, Moira. Nothing is forcing you to go. If you feel it in your bones that it isn’t good for you, then don’t do it.”

“And then my da dies in prison, alone.” She says, voice flat. “And I’m the worst daughter that ever lived.”

“You are not the worst daughter, Moira. You even said yourself that he was awful to you, that you had to get away. He’s also responsible for murdering someone, for taking a life. Maybe this is like his karma. An eye for an eye.”

She rakes a hand through her hair. “God, I don’t know, Declan. I bring lives into the world, and sometimes I save them, too, and letting a person die alone goes against everything that I believe in.”

“I get that, Moira. But you also have to think about yourself here. I know that I’m far removed from the situation, but your da will be gone soon, and maybe that’s the best thing for you, lass. He’s not good for you. You’ve said so yourself.”

With a swallow, she looks at me, and I’d pay a billion dollars to know what she’s thinking. I want to say so much more to her, but I’m afraid of overstepping. I’ve never met her da, and I’ve only known her for a short time, so it isn’t my place.

“I can’t...I can’t deal with this right now. I have to go to work.” She says, squeezing her hair with her hands.

“That’s okay, Moira. Don’t feel guilty for this.He’sthe asshole here, not you. Remember that.” I change the subject. “Look. I'll go make you some breakfast while you shower, okay? If you need to focus on something else, then so be it. This is your life, Moira. And you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s not your fault that your da made poor choices.”

It takes her a moment, but she nods, as if agreeing or just processing, but either way, she seems to have calmed down some. She’s not pulling her hair out like she was a minute ago. That’s when I make up my mind to help her in any way that I can. Moira is not afraid to tell me if I’m crowding her. I can grab our company jet anytime she wants,ifshe wants, and fly her out to Scotland to see her da. There is nothing stopping that from happening, if that’s what she wants. And if she decides to let him die, without seeing him, then I’ll support her on that front, too. As far as I’m concerned, I wouldn’t want to be involved with someone who’s offed someone else, unless it was for a good cause, like defending someone you love, or something like that. But from what I understand, her da did it for unsavory reasons.

I go to her kitchen and see what’s in the fridge. “Oh, who the fuck am I kidding.” I say to myself. Unless there’s a carton of milk in the fridge and a box of cereal in the cupboard, I’m a sitting duck. She’s already in the shower, so I grab her keys and lock up, taking my cell phone with me, downstairs. The coffee shop up the street has nobody in the drive-thru, so I grab coffee and bagels, and head back, just in time for her to get out of the shower. As I walk inside, I can hear the hair dryer, so I set everything down and catch up on some emails as I wait.

“Smells good.” She comments, all dressed and ready to go.

“You look fantastic.”

A modest wave. “It’s amazing the difference a good night’s sleep can do.”

I search for the right words. “I’m glad you’re not...letting this thing with your da get you down.”

She sighs, picking up a bagel. “Declan, I work best under pressure, and I make my best decisions on the fly. This is no different. The answer will come to me when it’s meant to come. Today, I’ve got a patient that needs tending to, and she’s my top priority. The answer will be in there somewhere, I believe.”

“You are wise, lass.” It’s going on seven o’clock, and I need to get back, so I grab my coffee and bagel. She watches me.

“I should take this to-go, too.” She says, and I love it that she’s not going to make me feel guilty for leaving.

I kiss her goodbye as we leave the apartment together. I watch her as she pulls out of the parking garage, and I decide that I have something more important to address before I get into today’s tasks.

Cullen and Connor, our security guys, are sitting with da in his office. They look more laid back than normal. I tip my head in greeting. “Morning.”

“Morning, Declan.” Da says warmly. “Did you have a good night with Moira?” The way he says it is like I’ve been at a sleepover party with girlfriends.

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