Page 38 of Goaltender Interference

“I—I can go down on you, I just, I don’t think I can come again.”

Aiden leaned forward and scraped Matt’s thigh with his teeth, lips pressing against the same spot. Kissed his way farther up Matt’s torso, licking the come off of his stomach. His hand twisted and Matt groaned, shivering underneath him.

“Let me,” Aiden begged, not even sure exactly what he wanted to do, just wanted to—needed to—wreck him. “Matty.”

Matt didn’t answer immediately. His eyes were closed, and his mouth hung open as Aiden stroked his finger over Matt’s rim, still wet from his tongue. Matt’s entire body jolted as Aiden slid his finger back in, but his legs fell open, sensitive but unresisting, at least for the moment.

He clutched at Aiden’s hair, grip tightening as Aiden teased him with his fingers, ignoring the gasps and the trembling of Matt’s thighs when Aiden twisted them up, the yelp when Aidenlicked his way up the length of Matt’s cock. Aiden could barely think, half of his attention focused on making Matt feel as insane as Aiden felt right now, half on holding himself back.

“Aiden,” Matt managed. “It’s too much.”

He pulled away. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, no, please—”

Aiden lost track of time, of how long they’d been doing this, subsumed in the feedback loop of the ragged noises Matt made and the way he felt when Matt made them. Matt shook underneath him, alternating between trying to push himself onto Aiden’s fingers and squirm away. His eyes were still screwed shut and his hair plastered sweatily on his forehead, and he was hot and achingly hard again in Aiden’s hand.

“Matt,” Aiden said, and his voice sounded like he was the one who’d been getting fucked this whole time. Matt had come twice already and looked and sounded like it and Aiden was holding himself back. It felt like his entire body was one tingling nerve, so intense it hurt. “Matt, what, what do you want?”

Matt didn’t really answer right away, just kept rolling his hips up and grabbing blindly at Aiden’s head and shoulders. He gasped, “Anything.”

Aiden gently pushed his hands away, shifted farther up the bed so he could settle between Matt’s legs, push them apart and line himself up. He couldn’t remember when exactly they stopped using condoms again or why and it wasn’t really anything to get poetic about, but the heat and friction of it almost ended him right there. Aiden already felt raw and exposed, and fucking Matt like this made him feel like he’d ripped his skin off.

Matt said, “Oh,” very quietly, when Aiden was fully inside and still mindlessly trying to push deeper. Matt’s eyes finally opened to look up, although they were still hazy and unfocused, almostdreamy, and Aiden thought,I did that, that’s because of me,Imade him feel like that.

Aiden moved, a slow, agonizing motion first, and then faster, harder.

He didn’t want to think anymore, so he didn’t.

“Shit,” Matt said, much later. He kept trying to sit up and not quite managing it. Eventually, he gave up, lay back in the crevice between the disarrayed pillows. “Where the fuck didthatcome from?”

“Fuck off,” Aiden mumbled, sprawled on his stomach next to him.

“Seriously, what’s—what the hell got into you?”

Aiden looked over at him, sticky and sweaty, his body marked with the imprints of Aiden’s mouth and teeth, his face bemused, dark eyes flicking from Aiden’s face to his lips, and thought,I’m still in love with you.

He said, instead, “Well, I can rule out ‘you,’ huh?”

Matt managed to punch him in the arm, and in response, Aiden waggled his eyebrows, and then Matt was rolling on top of him pinning him down and trying to kiss him, even though the angle was awkward. Aiden managed a squawk of shock before Matt’s insistence killed his token protest.

Later, while Matt was in the shower, Aiden buried his face in the pillow and wondered whether he could just smother himself that way and end it all.

I’m still in love with you.

He’d never really stopped.

It didn’t feel any better, admitting it.

It wasn’t like Aiden was going tostopfucking him. It just felt worse to know that the end of the summer was coming, and Matt was going to be back on the road, and Aiden was going back to New York, doing absolutely nothing with his life, still in love with his ex, like a fucking idiot.

Dr. Gauthier asked why he found it so hard to envision a future for himself.

“It’s just that I’ve never done anything except hockey. I’ve never wanted to do anything except hockey. And now I don’t have hockey anymore.”

“You don’t do anything except hockey, or you won’t let yourself do anything except hockey?”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

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