Page 86 of Home Ice Advantage

“Because it’s just... I don’t know. I was thinking about how it would be nice to be able to move in together. To have a home that’s ours. To not have to worry about sneaking around so much on the road, you know?”

“Yes...” Eric said, a little wary.

“It’s just that you make me really fucking happy, Eric, and I don’t know how it’s going to feel if we’re only gonna be able to do this halfway until we retire.”

“Wow. Wow. You really know how to wake a guy up in the morning, huh?”

“Shut up,” Ryan said, and punched him in the bicep, but it was with such a fond tone of voice that Eric couldn’t resist rolling over on top of him, trapping Ryan’s sturdy little body underneath his own.

“What were you thinking about?” Eric said, pressing a kiss against Ryan’s eyelid.

“Stop,” Ryan said, exasperated, blinking furiously, and Eric laughed and did it again. “You aresuchan asshole, Eric, Jesus—”

“I’m being serious, though,” Eric said, his mouth at the hinge of Ryan’s jaw now, trailing down his neck. “Tell me. What’s your ideal future? What were you thinking about?”

“I just thought...” Ryan said, distracted, his whole body shuddering reflexively. “Stop, I can’t think when you’re doing that.”

Eric shifted, caught Ryan’s wrists in his hands. Looked down at Ryan pinioned beneath him and thought again how fucking lucky he was. “Okay. Sorry, mon pitchounet. What were you thinking?”

“Do you think it might be nice to be able to tell Petey and Heidi about us? And maybe the team?”

“Wait, you want to move in with meandyou want to come out?” Eric said, his brain finally playing catch-up. “Tabarnak, you don’t take things at half measures.”

“Not completely. Not to everyone. Just in a way that matters. The people who matter to us. And as for living together...your apartment’s awful. My apartment’s awful. It’d be nice to finally have ahome, you know? It feels sometimes like I haven’t had one ever, really. And also, you know, it’d be way more efficient. We could carpool to practice together.”

“And you want a home with me,” Eric said slowly, ignoring that last part.

“Well, yeah.” Ryan was blushing, his face an embarrassed, angry red that Eric could see even in the dim light of the hotel room, and it took everything he had not to lean down and kiss him senseless again. “I think I do.”

“Okay.”

“Okay what?”

“To all of it. Telling Heids and Petey. Getting the apartment. Whatever you want.”

“What, really? Just like that? Seriously?”

“Look, Ry,” Eric said. He could feel Ryan’s pulse under his fingers, hammering nervously under the skin. “I’ve spent a lot of fucking years in the closet. I’ve lived with a lot of regrets. Am I maybe kind of terrified about what you’re asking for? Hell yes, I am. But I’m more terrified of losing this. Losing you. Letting things go and regretting them later. Maybe it’s time to...”

Ryan was looking up at him with a soft, fond expression, didn’t struggle to get away even though Eric still had his arms pinned above his head. “To what?”

“Take something for myself. Live the way I’d like to. It’s not sudden, Ryan. It’s been years in the making. But you know what?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t think I’d have gotten here without you.”

Ryan’s eyes went wide and for the first time, he did struggle, trying to shift his head up. “Eric, come on, you can’t say shit like that to me and not let me kiss you.”

And Eric, laughing, gave in.

The end of the season came early, and it wasn’t a surprise to anyone, least of all to Ryan. The Beacons had been more than a few points out of the last wildcard spot for quite some time, with the injuries stacking up and the youth still learning the ropes. They weren’t last in the league the way some people had expected, and that was enough for him.

Ryan’s meeting with Joe Conroy and the management group had gone well, too. They provided an updated version of his contract extension, which he was going to sign once the dust had settled. The negotiations for the staff had gone well, too, and he felt, overall, satisfied about how all of that was going, even if it wasn’t news he wanted to discuss with the media. No matter his personal feelings, he was sure at least half of the questions would be about whether he was coming back next season.

The day that they cleaned out the locker rooms and met with management and for exit interviews was the day after their final game, which they had won, in a last-hurrah blowout to the tune of 8-2 against a Calgary team that was playing 11F 7D and limping into the playoffs without two of their stars. It had been good to end on a high note, he couldn’t really ask for much more than that.

He spoke with each player individually, to thank them for their work over the season, and to tell them all of the things they had done well and that he would like them to work on for next year.

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