Page 73 of Wildly Inappropriate

“It’s okay, JT,” Lila says.

“Yeah. Of course. It’s not a problem. I just don’t know if we’ll be living in the same place or across the country from each other, but it’s okay. I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

I feel Lila place her hand on my leg and realize it’s been bouncing up and down too.

“JT, look at me,” she says, her voice a soothing tone I’ve never heard before. I force my eyes to hers, but the guilt continues to gnaw at my stomach. How are we supposed to do this when I’m gone all the time for work, and even when I’m home I’m in a different state? I wasn’t sure I could do this before, what could possibly make me think I could do a long-distance relationship as my first one?

She chuckles a little. “Did you not realize when you asked me to date you that your house is in California?” I know she’s trying to lighten the mood, but I’m spiraling here, and while I know how ridiculous it sounds, no, I did not put those pieces of information I knew together in such a way.

“No,” I say. “Somehow, I managed to remain ignorant of that fact.”

She grabs my hand, trying to stop it from the up-down, up-down, up-down motion it’s been making on the side of my water glass.

The waitress approaches, but Lila quickly sends her away, asking for more time.

“JT, look at me,” she says, and I force my eyes to hers.

“You may not have realized this, but I did. I understand you live in California. I understand I live in Colorado. While it’s not ideal, we’ll figure it out. Maybe once I get this proposal submitted, I can talk to Kelsey about working remotely a couple of Mondays and Tuesdays so I can come and stay in California with you when you are between tournaments. I was thinking, if it works for you, that when you have longer breaks or are taking a week off, you might come out and stay in Wild Bluffs. I’ll have my own house here soon, so you could stay with me. Or in a hotel. Or with Jameo—whatever you prefer.”

She’s…thought about it. She’s been working on finding solutions to our problem before I even realized there was a problem. Fuck, I do not deserve her, and this just serves as a reminder that I have no clue what I’m doing as a boyfriend. I should’ve been planning and working on this too. I should’ve had the answers. Hell, I’m a professional athlete with a private plane at my disposal. This isn’t brain surgery. I just had to put one ounce of thought into it. I’m surprised she’s not gathering her things and walking out on me right now.

“JT,” she says in a way that makes me think it’s not the first time. Shit. I really zoned out there.

“I think we can do it.”

“What?”

“I think we can make long-distance work. I mean”—I can see the uncertainty flash across her face—“if you still want to make it work.”

“Of course I do, Lila. I’m just worried I’m going to let you down.”

“You probably are. And I’m going to let you down too. And we’ll both feel shitty about it, but we’ll try to do better the next day. That’s how relationships work.”

I know she’s right, but it also feels like she doesn’t understand how quickly people’s dreams can go to hell when they hitch their wagon to mine. Maybe I should have her talk to my mom. I know Lila’s trying really hard to pull me out of this funk, so for her sake, I will try to believe this is something I can do.

Fortunately, the waitress returns to take our order, and I use the time to regain my composure.

Lila smirks at me as the waitress leaves. “It’s like you’ve learned nothing from the romance books I assigned you.”

“Wait, are you telling me you’ve been brainwashing me into becoming a good boyfriend with your romance book recommendations?” I ask. “Damn, that’s a long con, Lila. We couldn’t even stand to be in the same room when you dared me to read those.”

“I’m always two steps ahead of you, JT. Just remember that. And I’m not afraid to make you suffer by any means necessary if you don’t meet the book boyfriend requirements. Punishments such as wearing skimpy clothing when we’re around my family.”

“Like at Thanksgiving?” I ask.

“Well, I think we can both agree you deserved that.”

“What do you…” I trail off as a memory of the other night comes back.

“What do you mean?” I ask. “I thought we were on the same page that we were going to go back to not getting along after that night.”

“Yeah. You’re right. We did agree on that.” She starts fiddling with her straw wrapper, curling it around and around her finger.

“Lila?” I ask. “What are you not telling me?”

“It’s just—and it’s so stupid now, so not even worth talking about—”

I halt her fingers from wrapping the straw wrapper again as I raise my eyebrows. “Tell me,” I’m almost begging at this point.

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