Page 36 of Wildly Inappropriate

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I’m pulled from my sleep by a loud crash and my phone ringing. It’s pitch-black in my room, and it sounds like the house is being pounded by baseballs.

“Hello!” I shout into my phone, trying to be heard over the noise.

“Mr. Johnson? It’s Mary with Wild Bluffs Country Club. Are you and Ms. Walker both okay?” Shit.Are we okay?What’s happening?

“Uhm. I’m not sure. I was sleeping. What’s happening?” Christ, is this a tornado? Am I about to be picked up like Dorothy?

“It’s a bad hailstorm. It just went through the outskirts of Wild Bluffs, and I guess it broke a ton of windows there. Don’t go outside, and try to stay away from any southern-facing windows. I’ve got to go, JT. We’ve got a few more guests I need to get a hold of. Can you make sure Lila is okay?”

“I’m on it,” I say, pulling on a pair of shorts before throwing open my door.

I have no idea how I’ve stayed asleep so long in this. It feels like I’m standing in front of a vacuum cleaner, the roar of the wind making it impossible to hear my own thoughts. Jack is pacing in front of Lila’s door, whining loudly. From the way the wind is blowing into the room, it appears at least one window in the living room is broken. A flash of lightning burns across the sky, and I catch a glimpse of snow on the ground outside the window. Wait. No, not snow. Hail. Inches of white hail cover the course outside. I feel my way along the wall, hoping to find Lila’s door. I breathe a sigh of relief when I do, and ease it open, desperately trying to find the light switch inside. My fingers make contact, and I flip the switch but…nothing happens. Right. Power is likely out. Shit. Where is Lila? Maybe I can call her? I look at my phone and realize how big of an idiot I am. I turn on the flashlight and point it at her bed. Her room is a mess, little pinpricks of glass lighting up the floor and her bed. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Where is she?

“Lila!” I call out.

I hear a noise that could be her response from in her bathroom. Clearly, Lila makes better decisions than I do when woken by a breaking window. I rush toward the bathroom door, stopping when I realize small pieces of glass have made it over here too.

“I’ll be right back!” I call out, uncertain if she can hear me over the roar of the wind and the constant pounding of the hail against the windows and walls. This is…terrifying.

Jack follows me back to my room, where I throw on a pair of tennis shoes, leaving them untied, the tongues wide open. I all but run out of my room before realizing I can’t have Jack walking on the broken glass that is covering the floors. My windows face north, so my room should be relatively safe, but I decide not to risk it. Following Lila’s lead, I shut him into the bathroom. He immediately starts howling, but I can’t deal with that right now.

I rush back into Lila’s room, the glass crunching under my now-covered feet. I hope Lila made it into the bathroom before she had to cross a field of razor-sharp shards.

I throw open the bathroom door. “Lila!”

“Here!” She’s huddled in the bathtub, wearing nothing but a skimpy tank top and little sleep shorts.

“Come on!” I yell. “My room is okay!” I move to help her stand, grabbing her hand as she steps over the lip of the tub. I start to open the door to the bathroom when I realize she’s not wearing any shoes. “I’m going to have to carry you!” I yell.

“No way!” She shakes her head vehemently. “I can walk.”

I turn back toward her, getting my face right next to hers. “Like hell you will! There is glass covering the floor out there. You have bare fucking feet. No.” With that, I bend down and scoop her up into my arms. As I shove out the bathroom door, the wind picks up, and another window breaks, throwing pieces in our direction. Instinctively, I turn my back toward the window, pulling Lila tighter to my body to protect her from any shrapnel. I feel one piece cut the back of my bicep, but I keep moving, navigating through the living area and into my room. I slam the door shut and set her down, grabbing her arms as I check her over from top to bottom, making sure there isn’t anything broken or bleeding. When I lift up her foot to check her sole, she gently shoves my hands away, grabbing my face and holding it inches from her own.

“I’m okay.”

“Fuck. I was so scared when I saw your bed covered in glass.”

“I’m okay.” She runs her hands down my arms, and I wince when she comes in contact with a piece of glass that apparently lodged itself in there earlier.

“Shit, JT.” Her eyes are wide. “Is that…glass?”

I swallow hard, trying not to think about it. “I think so.”

“Come on.” She grabs my hand and pulls me into the bathroom. Jack stops howling and presses up close to my legs, clearly just as frightened as I am. Taking my phone from my fingers, Lila sets it on the edge of the sink, filling the basin with light and illuminating the small room.

“That’s a fancy trick,” I say.

“I’m very smart, JT.” She is inspecting the back of my arm, using a piece of toilet paper to catch the small stream of blood running down toward my elbow.

“I never doubted it, but if I had, the fact that you knew to hide in your bathroom would’ve proven it to me.”

“It’s like tornado safety 101.”

“I don’t think this is a tornado.”

“Tell that to my sleep-addled brain.”

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