Page 12 of Wildly Inappropriate

I slide in next to Kelsey, noting walls covered in neon beer signs and TVs turned to the sports channel before noticing the curious faces of people watching me. I accidentally meet eyes with a middle-aged woman across the room, and, to my horror, she takes it as an invitation to come over and say hello.

“Well, hello. You must be Lila. I’m Trish. My husband and I own the hardware store just a few buildings down from where you will be working. I just wanted to come over and introduce myself to a fellow Denver College alum.”

Um…what? Is this lady stalking me?I wouldn’t have guessed it with her slacks and polo, but maybe the quintessential-mom vibe is her sneaky way of staying under the radar.

Kelsey coughs pointedly, and I realize I’ve been staring at her. I quickly rearrange my face into what I hope is a friendly smile. “Hello. It’s so nice to meet you, Trish,” I say.

“Well, anyway, I should let you all get back to dinner, but I had to introduce myself, since we are practically working next door.”

“Oh, sure. Um, thanks.”

As Trish makes her way back to her table, I take in the table, each and every face trying to cover up a laugh.

“Is she stalking me?” I whisper, and the Harper family loses their battles against the amusement they’ve been trying to suppress.

“You’ve been the hot gossip for a couple of weeks now,” Izzy says when the laughter dies down, leaning forward so she can see me around Kelsey. “Not to worry, though. They’re just excited because you’re a new, young, single person moving to town. You’ll be old news in like a week.” She pauses to consider. “Well, you moving here will be old news in a week. You never know what kind of gossip may or may not follow after.”

“How do they even know about me?” I ask.

“Kelsey is the biggest gossip in town.”

The sister in question levels Izzy with a glare that could take out a small hippo, but clearly this isn’t the first time Izzy has been the subject of Kelsey’s ire. Instead of cowering like I would, Izzy’s face transforms into a shit-eating grin, and the entire table devolves into laughter.

“Small-town gossip is like a big game of telephone,” Ken explains after we order our drinks.

“The coffee men are the worst gossips in town, Lila,” Jen cuts in. “So you’re really getting the lowdown from an expert.”

Ken shoots a good-natured glare at his wife. “The information spread starts out fine and with the best of intentions. People are excited and truly want to know what is happening in the lives of others. But then the speculation and judgment start. And that’s what gives small towns a bad rap. People start wonderingwhyyou would move here orifyou are single and want to date their nephew. And because the information is passed from person to person just like in the game of telephone, people hear the speculation and think it’s the truth, and then that’s what gets passed around town. Before you know it, you’re a vagabond from South Africa who is living in Tim’s house and buying Kelsey’s business.”

Kelsey takes a long drink from the glass of white wine the waiter delivered during Ken’s monologue. “That was surprisingly accurate.”

With the complexities of small-town gossip solved for the night, the Harpers fall into a relaxed conversation about their lives, what’s going on at work, a couple of relatives I’ve never met, and so on. Finally, when we’re mostly done with our food, Jen turns the conversation back to me.

“So, are you dating anyone, Lila?”

“Mommm,” Izzy and Kelsey both groan.

“What? It’s a valid question.”

“It’s an inappropriate question,” Kelsey says. “Especially considering she’s my employee.”

“She’s notmyemployee,” Jen replies with a shrug. “And I’m curious.”

“She does this on planes too,” Izzy offers with an eye roll. “She really can’t help but pry into the lives of others.”

“I like to get to know people,” Jen says as she snags one of the two remaining french fries from her eldest daughter’s plate.

“That’s okay,” I say. “Nope. Not dating anyone.” I catch a look that passes between Izzy and Kelsey, but I don’t speak Harper sister well enough to know what it’s about. Probably just typical daughter exasperation about their mom.

“Really?” asks Jen. “That surprises me. You seem like such an outgoing, lovely girl—”

“Mom,” Kelsey groans again. “Maybe Lila doesn’t want to be dating someone. How many times have I told you that not everyone wants to be in a relationship?”

Well, this is awkward. I don’t necessarily want to contradict Kelsey, because that is definitely a true statement, but it’s also not me.

“Well…” I say. “I do agree with Kelsey. I have some friends who say they won’t even consider dating someone seriously until they are in their thirties. I am, it turns out, just not one of them. I’ve maybe read one too many romance novels, but I’m a sucker for love. It just didn’t end up working out for me at school.” I shrug as if my soul isn’t crushed by the knowledge that I may not ever find someone who likes me enough to be with me.

You’re worthy of love,I remind myself.There is someone out there who loves you for you.I read somewhere that positive affirmations are supposed to help with anxiety and mental wellness, and I have embraced these two over the last six months. Okay, fine. I heard it in a Snoop Dogg song for kids, but it doesn’t change the fact that sometimes when I say them enough, I can revert to the naïve version of myself who believed I wasn’t actively repelling men with my personality.

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