"I'm sure your father would give you space if say..." he smiles at me. "You were on your honeymoon."
I blink. "Honeymoon?"
"What do you say?" he asks. "Will you marry me, Camilla?"
"You're insane," I whisper. "Like actually a little nuts. I don't think I'm worth all this trouble."
He shakes his head. "I'd run from Heaven to Hell for you, Camilla."
"Oh God," I sob, excruciating pain ripping through my whole fucking body. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so fucking sorry! I was so selfish, Danny! I was so..."
"Camilla!" A soothing but rough voice booms from behind and, suddenly, two hands are on my waist, pulling me up to my feet. "Camilla, are you okay?"
"He's dead," I cry, my vision blurred by therelentless tears coursing down my cheeks. "He's dead! They're both dead. Oh God... Oh my God... Make it stop. Please make it stop."
"Breathe, Camilla," Hayden hushes, pulling me into his chest. "Just breathe."
"I don't deserve to breathe," I whisper, soaking his button-up shirt as I fist the fabric. "It should've been me. Me! You don't understand. No one understands!"
"Let's go lay down," he suggests, guiding my listless body toward my bedroom. "I'm going to get you some water, okay?" He glances over his shoulder toward the living room. "And I'll make a call about..."
I wince, unable to look at Pinto's corpse.
"I'll be back in a second. Keep breathing, okay? Deep breaths, in and out."
I wipe my nose on my sleeve, hoping the tears will stop. I forgot how annoying crying could be. It's endless. A sea of misery just gushing out of your body. No permission. No fucking right. I have no control. Fucking zero. I hate it. I hate it so much.
"Someone will be here shortly for Pinto," Hayden says, handing me a glass of water. "Drink this."
"I don't want it," I say, sniffling. "Get me a real drink."
"No," he says, forcing the glass into my hand. "Drink the water."
I scowl at him but take a sip. "How?" I clear my throat, my mind clearing long enough for me to ask, "Why are you here?"
"I tried calling, but you didn't answer," he says, scanning my puffy eyes with a conflicted gaze. "I needed myjacket." He pauses, expression glitching to confusion. "I left my office keys in the pocket."
"Oh," I hum, sniffling, a pang of disappointment pinching my heart. "It's in the living room."
"Okay." He's silent for a charged minute, examining my every shallow breath before asking in a soft, inquisitive tone, "Who's Danny?"
"What?" I ask, taken aback, nausea stirring in my stomach.
"You kept saying 'I'm sorry, Danny'." Hayden perches on the edge of my bed, his thigh brushing against my bent knee. His eyes narrow with genuine intrigue. "Who's Danny?"
"Daniel was..." I close my eyes. There's no point anymore. The memories are ripped from their shackles. Unearthed from their tombs. Resurrected and reborn. They're here. "He was my..." I swallow, meeting Hayden's patient gaze. "He was my fiancé. Pinto was his dog...at first."
"I see," he hums, nodding his head slowly. "What happened to him? To Daniel?"
My jaw tenses as I shake my head. "I can't..."
"You can." Hayden places a reassuring warm palm on my shaking leg. Instant comfort. Like heroin. "Talk to me, Camilla." Hesitating for a brief moment, he lifts his hand to wipe a rolling tear from my cheek. "The worst is over."
It's odd. The feeling of release. Despite the heaviness sitting in my chest, I've never felt lighter. Like I've shed thousands of emotional pounds. Every tear was a ton. An anchor of grief weighing me down. Holding me. Fillingmy lungs with water. They're empty now. My lungs. I can breathe. I can feel the air entering my body. It hurts to breathe. But I can breathe.
"He died," I say, hanging my head. I'm ready. The final memory. The moment life ended and peril began. "He was killed on our wedding day."
"You look beautiful," Daniel whispers under his breath as I approach the altar. He holds out his hand, glancing over his shoulder. He smiles at our parents, giving my father a nod of respect. "Ready?"