Page 163 of Set Me On Fire

“Kids…” I bit back a laugh as the shop assistant started to walk back towards us, a garment bag in hand. “OK, deal.” I scanned the racks, now serious.

And that’s when I found it.

I’d looked at a lot of the stiff, more formal dresses, but as soon as I saw this one, I knew it was my dress. Constructed mainly of lace, it was looser, softer, perfect for a beach wedding.I could see it then, the formal church replaced in my mind with something else. The beach we all went to for walks up every evening. At first we’d put Chloe in her carrier, but now she took halting, careful steps, clinging tightly to our hands.

In my mind’s eyes, my brothers were there in the blue suits they’d had made for Nadia’s wedding. Surfers bobbed in the waves, waiting for a break as the sun started to set. Buster was milling around, a white ribbon tied in a bow around his neck. Dad was wearing a suit, tugging at his collar until Mum swept in, wearing some pretty confection in fuchsia or lavender, pulling his hands away and then she turned. They all turned to watch me walk closer.

But my focus was entirely trained on them.

My guys, dressed in suits and looking even more amazing than they usually did, our daughter in their arms. She was wearing a cute little white dress, a bow in her hair as she reached an arm out for me, beckoning me closer.

“This is quite different to the ones you were looking at,” the sales assistant said.

“It is.” I nodded sharply. “But I think this is the one.”

When I was in the changing room, I shucked the crystal dress, hanging it up neatly, but that was all just delaying tactics. In some ways, I didn’t want to try on this dress. If it was right–no, worse, perfect–then that would drive home my reality. I had everything, everything I needed.

But not this one thing I wanted.

Jamie and the saleswoman were waiting for me outside, that’s what had my hands moving, slipping the lightweight gown off the hanger, then easing down the zip. I stepped into it, feeling the same thing I felt when I realised that the guys were the only ones for me. That this was perfect, right.

My reflection said the same thing.

The dress skimmed over my curves, nipping in at the waist, then flaring out in soft, delicate folds made of hundreds of dollars of lace. For the first time since I got pregnant, I felt it: that I was beautiful, the princess that I always wanted to be, and that I didn’t want to have to choose between this dress and the guys.

“How’d you go?”

I didn’t want the sales assistant to whisk the curtain back. I didn’t want the two of them to gasp, staring at me open-mouthed. I didn’t want this to be the most perfectly imperfect moment. We were just having fun today, and I… I had to make it into something it could never be.

“That one.” Jamie pointed a shaking finger at me. “We’re grabbing it.” She didn’t even wait for a confirmation from me, turning towards the saleswoman. “Ring them both up. We’re taking them.”

“Just one thing.” All of the professional calm of the woman was fractured then as she plucked a clip from a stand of hair ornaments. “Do you mind?”

She gestured to my hair and suddenly I understood, knowing what her clever fingers would do before they did it. My hair was twisted at the back, little tendrils left to fall around my face as she gave me a loose bun. It was the perfect look for a beach wedding, soft, feminine, but also with a kind of effortless elegance.

“There…”

She stepped back and left me to stare at my reflection. Our reflection, Jamie coming to stand beside me, the two of us transformed.

That’s when I saw what a gift this day was. The guys were right, it had reminded me I was more than a pair of aching boobs and strong arms to hold my baby. I was still Chloe’s mum,but I was also Jamie’s friend, Charlie’s, Noah’s, and Knox’s partner.

I was Millie, who had almost everything she’d ever dreamed of.

As if to mark that, the roar of several muscle cars had me looking out the window. I blinked, unable to believe what I was seeing. Brock was behind one, a white ribbon attached to the windshield, fluttering as he came to a standstill by the shop window, revving the engine. He was wearing that same damn suit I’d imagined him in, Hayden sitting in the passenger side seat, his arm hanging over the door. Hunter was in the back, waving madly, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Just in time,” the sales woman said. “You did well.”

“Just in time for what?” I asked, because another car turned up, then another, parking outside the shop. “Jamie, just in time for what?”

“The guys have been planning this for some time,” she told me, flushing bright red. “They knew you always wanted to have your princess-for-a-day moment. Well, they did when I told them, so…”

“C’mon, Mills!” Hunter appeared in the doorway. “We’re losing the sun, and the celebrant will only be there for so long!”

“Celebrant?” I gasped.

“Let's ring these dresses up before she loses it.” Jamie snatched the credit card from my limp fingers, then handed it over to the woman. Our street clothes were bundled up and bagged, then my best friend took my hand, drawing me out of the shop and into the cars beyond.

“Oh, darling…” Mum exclaimed as I slid into the backseat of the car Dad was driving. “You look…” Her hands waved frantically as her eyes filled with tears.

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