Page 157 of Set Me On Fire

I mutely pleaded for Astrid to understand and something in her expression made it clear she did. For just a moment, the chasm that sometimes felt like it existed between her and me collapsed and we stood on the same side.

“She’s perfect,” Astrid said finally, tears making her eyes shine. “Of course, she is. She’s your little girl.”

“She’s my little girl,” I croaked out, right before grabbing my sister in a hug. “She’s so tiny and I can’t relax because I keep thinking that if I do, something will happen to her, even though I know it won’t.”

“Welcome to parenthood, little brother,” she said. “It’s a weird place full of paranoia and anxiety.”

“You are not selling me on this,” I told her.

“I don’t have to.” She pulled back and stared into my eyes. “She did. Now all you can do is try not to fuck things up. You will, we all do.”

“Is this you admitting that you make mistakes?” I asked, trying for my usual banter, but my delivery was off. My voice was shaky, my own eyes filling, and to my horror, a tear slipped free. She shook her head and then reached up to brush it away.

“Everyone does, Charlie, it's how you make amends that matters.”

“Charlie…?”

Heather woke up with a start, blinking when she saw the two of us, then nudging Angus. He snorted and then glanced around, his response creating a chain reaction. Jamie and her guys woke up as well, and then they all came clustering closer.

“Is Millie still in labour?”

“How’s she doing? Is she OK? I know she didn’t want pain relief, but if she’s still in labour?—”

“What about the baby? How’s the baby? Do they have a foetal heart monitor on?”

Astrid smiled, giving my arm one last squeeze before pulling away. She picked up her bag and walked out, no doubt to pick up her boys from our parent’s place.

“Our little girl was born…” I looked at my phone. “About an hour ago. Millie is fine. She was more than fine really. She wasamazing.” I watched every single one of their faces light up at the news. “The baby is a healthy eight and a half pounds.”

“Oh, she’s a big girl,” Heather said, clasping her hands to her chest.

“She would be with dads like this,” Brock said, eyeing me off. “Maybe you need to look at finding a smaller bloke as a sperm donor if you intend to have any more kids.”

“More kids?” Angus spluttered. “I’m not sure my ticker can cope with this one.” Then he thrust his hand out. I just stared at it for a second, the part of my brain that understood social rituals offline. Belatedly, I remembered I needed to shake it. He gave it a good squeeze and then pulled me close into one of those hearty, backslapping hugs. “Well done, mate. Well done. Tell that daughter of mine congratulations, and the minute she’s up for a visit, we’ll be there and…” I felt his chest heave. “That I love her and I’m glad she made it through this in one piece.”

Me too, I thought as he pulled away. After that, it was hugs and handshakes all round, but that felt wrong somehow. I hadn’t done anything but stand around and give back rubs, but when Jamie spoke, it started to make sense.

“Tell Millie whatever she needs…” Her voice shook and Hayden wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Anything at all, I’m there. I will always be there for her. I’ll even…” She went a little white. “I’ll clean up poopy nappies if that’s what she needs.”

“She knows that,” I said, but the determined gleam in Jamie’s eyes shone brighter. “And I’ll make sure to tell her.”

“Keep an eye on her water intake.” Heather was in mumma bear mode. “Make sure she’s having enough. Have a bottle of water, a cup of tea, something beside her at all times.”

“Stop bossing the boy around,” Angus said.

“Nope.” I smiled then and once I started, I just couldn’t stop. “I like bossy women, that way I know what they actually want rather than trying to guess. Hit me with it, Heather.”

And she did, listing off all the things we needed to do to ensure Millie was properly looked after during the recovery period.

So we did.

The next day we were discharged, the walk to the car surreal. We’d come here as four separate people it felt, but now… I looked over as Knox opened up the car and Noah fussed with the baby seat, making sure it was secure as Millie stared down at our daughter’s face, completely in love. Now we were a family.

A family with a very demanding new member.

It felt like we’d only just gone down to sleep when Bubba’s wails had my head jerking up off the pillow. Millie moved, then groaned, and that had me shifting. We’d decided to keep Bubs in the side sleeper, close to the bed. Millie started patting around blindly for the baby, still half asleep, so I reached over and collected our daughter up, tucking her into her mum’s side.

“Mm… thanks.”

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