Page 128 of Set Me On Fire

“Fun? Just so you know, I prefer the ground to be stable under my feet at all times,” I ground out.

“You can do it, Auntie Millie!” the boys cried, and they were right. I had to, people starting to mill around, waiting for me to move on.

“Getting through obstacles together,” Charlie said, leaning on the rope almost negligently. “I figured it would be good practice.”

For parenthood, that went unspoken, and maybe he was right. I had felt like I’d lost my footing since the moment I met Charlie and his friends. My boring little life had exploded, but… I looked ahead, saw kids and adults alike scaling greater and greater heights. Maybe it could be replaced by something far better. I took the next step and the next, Charlie shadowing my every step, the boys coming behind us.

“You’re doing great!”

The boys were cute, I decided as I gripped the top rope. My feet were sliding across the bottom one, this obstacle feeling way too flimsy to be safe, but here I was, making my way across. Once they got the chance to burn off a bit of energy, they seemed to take our directive to heart. My ego was taking a bruising. Having two primary school kids cheer me on felt like a come down somehow, but I appreciated their efforts.

“You did it!”

Benny, the younger of the two boys, threw himself at my legs when I got onto the platform at the end of this obstacle.

“Whoa!”

I staggered back a little, knowing the safety rope would stop me from getting hurt, but still, my heart started to race from a standing start. A hand snapped out and grabbed my shoulder, stopping me from going further and that had me meeting Charlie’s eyes.

“Um… thanks.”

“Uncle Charlie will keep you safe,” Benny announced. “He’s a fireman. He’s big and strong and saves people.”

“He is, isn’t he?” It felt a little strange, sliding my arm around Charlie’s waist. For him too, I wondered, because I felt his muscles tense, right before he drew me closer. “OK, how are we going to get through this obstacle?”

That was a genuine question. A wooden board spanned the gap between the trees, those small resin hand holds rock climbers use the only means to get across.

“This one takes a fair bit of upper body strength.” Charlie squinted, assessing the situation. “Maybe we should try a different route.”

“Uncle Charlie…”

The boys slouched, the despair obvious in their voice.

“Hey, boys have great upper body strength.”

“Yeah, boys rule, girls drool!” Billy said, then dropped his arms abruptly. “Except you, Auntie Millie.”

“Eye on the KFC prize, hey, bud?”

I ruffled his hair and then stepped up to the edge, watching a young girl climb across. Her little arms shook but her dad was right there with her, encouraging her the entire way.

That’s what this was. Whether Charlie was conscious of it or not, this was all part of the preparation for when our child would come. I thought of all the crap Mum had gone through for us, going to every sports match, every recital, no matter how she was feeling. She was this constant, loving, strong presence.

Strong.

I sucked in a breath, wishing I’d spent a lot more time on arm day at the gym before putting my hand in a hold, then my foot, and beginning to move.

“You’re doing great.”Charlie came climbing across after me, the boys moving like spiders across the surface, climbing up and down for the fun of it. I blew out a breath and then focussed on the board. “If you need me to, I’ll grab you and put you on my back, then all you’ll need to do is hold on as I get us across.”

He would too, and that had me shaking my head. All the men in my life tried to step in, smooth away the obstacles before me, and I loved them for it… Loved. That word felt a little too big for this moment, so I just grinned and reached for the next hold. Ignore the wrench in my shoulders and the muscles that would hurt tomorrow. Ignore the sure feeling that I was not where I was supposed to be. Just keep moving forward, always forward, that’s what I focussed on until I was hauling myself up onto the next platform, sucking in breaths noisily.

“That was so cool! What’s next?”

The boys were like Energizer bunnies, able to go and go and go, and I was a battery that was almost used up.

“Sorry.” Charlie offered me his bottle of water and I took it gratefully, swallowing down a long mouthful. “I didn’t really think this through.” He snorted as the boys started discussing the strategy for the next step. “People say that a lot about me.”

My hand went to his arm, stopping this stream of self-deprecation.

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