Page 141 of Set Me On Fire

It was hard and it was easy all at the same time.

Hard because there were two Millies: one that was deliriously happy with her three lovers and the other who would never do something so stupid as get into an office romance with not one but three of the guys she worked with, all while being pregnant.

Judy finished up with the fire service, and a farewell party was thrown for her. She gave me a tearful hug and promised that she was only a phone call away, but the things I wanted to call her about had nothing to do with work.

How did she find shoes to accommodate feet that seemed to swell alarmingly during the day? What the hell did you do about wanting to throw up not long after eating something that tasted amazing seconds before? And exhaustion, I had a newfound respect for the woman as peak first trimester tiredness hit me from nowhere. Brent had caught me staring blankly at my computer more than once, the numbers dancing before my eyes as they threatened to close. Instead, I kept drinking my bloody herbal tea and forged on, until the guys staged an intervention.

“Millie,you’re falling asleep at the dinner table again.”

I blinked and saw that Noah was staring at me in concern.

“You need some time off, to go on leave,” Knox insisted.

“Noo—” I started to complain.

“Just tomorrow then?”

Charlie wasn’t smiling anywhere near as much now. It seemed to dim the more my energy dipped. At his words, I stiffened. Not because they were fussing over me, but becauseI tapped on my phone screen and then looked at my calendar. I had an appointment set up, one they didn’t know anything about, and taking the day off would make it much easier to attend.

“OK.” I forced myself to smile as the guys all relaxed back against their chairs. “I’ll send Brent an email.”

“Maybe we should take the day off too.” Charlie waggled his eyebrows at me. “We could spend the day in bed and?—”

“Make it really obvious what’s happening here?” Noah shot him a dark look. “You know Millie doesn’t want that. Not yet,” he amended before turning to me. “Is there anything you need? We’ll look through the cupboards, make sure you have all your favourite snacks stocked.”

“I’ll be fine.” I surveyed each one of them. “A day in front of the TV watching people treating each other like shit is all I’ll need to feel better.”

Except I wouldn’t be catching up onThe Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. I had an appointment at the hospital.

Mum had madea case over one family dinner for finding out who the father was for medical reasons. Hereditary conditions, genetic complications, she’d hit us all with a rapid array of medical reasons until we agreed, but sitting in the car on the way home, the truth came out.

“I don’t want to know,” Noah had said as we drove home. “I get that we need that information if there’s any…” He looked down at me. “Medical complications, but other than that, I don’t want to know.”

“You can tell me if you want.” Charlie shrugged. “A piece of paper won’t mean anything to me.” His hand came to rest on my stomach, the surface now taut and slightly swelling. “The little guy or girl in there–they’re mine, no matter what it says.”

“We can get the information, put it in a shared folder.” Knox was frowning as he drove, his knuckles white as he gripped the wheel. “Everyone will know where it is if they need it, but…” My eyes met his in the rear vision mirror. “I’m the same. Don’t tell me.”

He was one hundred percent invested in the idea of us as a family and didn’t want anything messing with it and I understood that perfectly. I nodded and agreed with everything they said. It didn’t stop things from getting tense when we got the DNA kits delivered. I’d watched them silently wipe the swab against the insides of their cheeks, then slot the sample back into the provided tube, feeling light headed and somewhat spacey. It didn’t matter, I told myself. This was for just in case.

So why the hell was I standing on the curb outside our house, gripping my bag so tightly now?

“All ready?”

Mum pulled up beside me, rolling down her car window, and I peered inside. I was going to become a mother in mere months, and right now, I wanted my mummy with me. I could’ve gone the non-invasive route, but when I discussed the options with Mum, I’d decided on an amniocentesis. It seemed all very cut and dried. I’d have more information than just who the father was. The gender, any genetic abnormalities, they’d all be identified in the report.

“Don’t worry, love.” Her tone was overly bright as I slipped into the passenger seat. “You looked over the list of possible risks?”

I had. Miscarriage, early labour, the list went on and on it felt as I studied it before signing the consent form. A small part of me wanted to shove it at the guys, make them make the decision, but a larger part felt like I needed to protect them. They were doing so much for me and I could do this for them.With a complete genetic picture of our child we would all be able to rest a little easier during the pregnancy.

“Try not to worry too much.” Her hand went to mine and I clung to it without shame. “It’s all over really quickly.”

“Will it hurt?”

“Not as far as I remember,” she replied in a much softer tone.

“Will I see it?”

It was a bloody big needle, and they’d need to put that into my stomach and extract a sample. I didn’t even look when I was getting blood drawn for pathology tests, let alone this.

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