Page 61 of The First Love Myth

“We’re never going to be friends again, Claire. You slept with my boyfriend. More than once. You didn’t even apologize for it, and now you’re dating him.”

Something flickers behind her eyes, but she only shakes her head. “Iamsorry I hurt you.”

“But not that you slept with him? Or destroyed our friendship?”

“Andrew came on to me.”

“Yeah,” I say forcing the memories from Wildwood away. “But you let him instead of pushing him away and telling me my boyfriend tried to sleep with you. You slept with him. Repeatedly. You’re sleeping with him still.”

“You forgave him.”

“You’re an idiot if you think me sleeping with Andrew means I forgive him.” How can she believe that? I don’t even know where to begin to forgive either of them. I barely accepted, and I’ll never forget. “But if I was with him, he wasn’t with you. Those were the rules, plain and simple.”

I fix Claire with such a look that she’s pinned to the wall. I dare her to refute the statement. To say that Andrew wasscrewing her all summer. It wouldn’t be a shock. Why would he keep his word? But she doesn’t.

Instead, she stares back at me with all the sadness of the last few months in her expression. She’s not hiding anymore. “You hate me that much that you would keep him from me? I loved him.”

“No,” I hiss. “Iloved him. You were his way to get out of a relationship, and now you’re his way to try to piss me off. But guess what? I’m not pissed off. I’m happy.”

“Then I’m glad.”

I shake my head, done with this conversation and this summer and this triangle. “If you want him, take him, Claire. I don’t care at this point.”

I turn on my heels and start to walk away, but Claire’s broken voice stops me in my tracks. “Will you ever forgive me?”

My heart races, and I turn back to her, arms crossed. “Yes, I’m sure one day I’ll forgive you. But”—I pause and meet her gaze—“we are never going to be friends again. Never.”

With that, I walk back to the party, praying I don’t look as frazzled as I feel. I don’t want to talk about this or remember it or anything. But one thing keeps playing over in my mind. Claire said shelovedAndrew, past tense. Are they not together? Was she trying to say she fell in love with Andrew during the affair? Questions for another night. Or maybe never. The answers don’t matter. Whether she loved Andrew or not, Claire betrayed me. Our friendship is unfixable.

My phone buzzes, and I pull it out of my back pocket to see a text from Max. My heart skitters and then calms. Max. One of the bright spots from this summer.Miss you, Zee. Meet you in an hour on my living room couch? (Think all the dirty thoughts you want.)

I laugh. It’s the cleanest dirty text ever. I breathe in the summer air, scented with beer and sweat and cigarettes. Noneof this high school drama matters. I’ve moved on. I’m past it. I survived.

Becca skips, literally, up to me and hooks her arm through mine. “Where’d you go?”

“Doesn’t matter,” I say. “You ready to dance?”

Becca grins and shoves a cup into my hand. “Hell yeah, I am!”

My bubbly and happy and forever friend. God, I love her. I take in the night, the crowd, and my life as I knew it. There’s no use looking back. Not when everything ahead of me looks so promising.

I tug Becca onto the dance floor. “Then let’s dance.”

Chapter 46

Liz

Istare at the folded sheet of paper in my hand. If I unfold it, I’ll get the tiniest of glimpses into my future. Girl or boy. Son or daughter. My stomach flutters at even the idea of this knowledge. Maybe Peanut wants me to know. Maybe I shouldn’t have had that extra slice of pizza at lunch. Or maybe I’m terrified. Knowing the sex of the baby will make our connection stronger. I can plan and imagine and name in real time. But if things go wrong... Things won’t go wrong.

I adjust the vents in the car and let the cold air calm me. After picking up the innocuous piece of paper, I wasn’t able to leave the parking lot. They offered to tell me over the phone, but I wanted the control to look or not. Now I’m rethinking that choice. My fingers tremble as I unfold the sheet with closed eyes. I smooth it against the steering wheel and take a few deep breaths, willing myself to look, to take this leap. Tears spring to my eyes at the sight before me.

Balloons.

Bear.

Pink.

Girl.

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