Page 20 of The First Love Myth

What in the world? My mother condoning dating while married? Does it count if you’re separated? What are the rules here? Will “my mother, who was totally and utterly betrayed by an extramarital affair, said it was okay” stand up in relationship court? Probably not. I try to picture telling Julian I went on a date or slept with someone else. What are the deal-breakers here? Does it even matter if we’re not emotionally together?

“Mom?”

“Honey, you and Julian are obviously separated. Why not go on a date or ten?”

“Ten.”

She shrugs. “You never know what you’ll like, you know, now that you can try all the flavors.”

“Mom!”

“What? It took quite a few taste tests before I found one I liked after your father.”

I’m going to vomit. Oh my god. I hand Cecilia back her phone, committing the information to memory. Speed dating doesn’t actually count as dating. It’s more like an interview of several available and probably horny men. Maybe I’ll consider it. Later. When I’m not stuck in this god-awful conversation.

I turn to my sister. “I didn’t think you told your girlfriends enough about your family for Evie to be so insightful on my situation.”

She grimaces and then shrugs. “She’s a psychologist.”

“Well, since she’s here, does that mean we get to meet her?”

We haven’t met one of Cecilia’s partners in years. She doesn’t bring them to holidays or family dinners. In fact, my sister has seemingly gone out of her way to end a relationship whenever that possibility might happen. Including right before my wedding, when she broke up with her girlfriend and brought some random guy to the reception. Which wasn’t out of the ordinary to us, but Julian’s family, aside from his twin, was definitely confused.

Cecilia’s shoulders slouch, and I feel the no coming. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked with our mother sitting here. Cecilia is always more reluctant to talk about her love life when Mom’s around. It’s the one no-go place they seem to have. But then a grin splits Cecilia’s face.Uh-oh.I’m going to like this even less than the flyer.

“Yes, you can meet her. If you go to speed dating.”

Chapter 17

Cecilia

Evie and I need to spend more time in hotels. The pressure I feel building in our relationship releases in this small room. We’re us but more. Away from my apartment, I am able to bask in everything that we are and give in to Evie’s need to take care of me. Which is why I’m curled up on the couch with a book in my hand, and she’s puttering around the kitchenette. I watch her futz with the takeout containers before my eyes glaze over as a replay of last night and what we did on this very couch runs through my mind. Evie pulling the book out of my hand. Evie crawling into my lap. Evie’s hands at my waist, hips, lower and lower. Goose bumps rise on my arms.

“You all right over there?”

I blink away the erotica and focus on the real version of my girlfriend. She stares down at me with a grin that says she knows exactly where my mind is, and if I’m good, there will be more tonight. That grin holds dirty promises.

“Fine.” I straighten and take the plate of food from the hole-in-the-wall restaurant down the street.

“I would’ve ordered you something,” Evie says, sitting down next to me with a plate of her own. “But I figured you’d still be with Liz.”

I shake my head, even though I assumed that until three this afternoon. “She’s having dinner with Zoey.”

“And you didn’t want to join?” Her voice is innocent enough, but she’s obviously fishing. Ever since the night I found out about Liz and Julian and spilled the whole story—my dad, Zoey, Liz, Julian—Evie has been asking needling questions and psychoanalyzing every response. Once, her interest in my life would’ve been irritating, but now, I’m grateful to have someone to share it with. And the more I tell her, the more I want her to know. Letting her in is terrifying, but it’s also fulfilling. It’s been so long since someone really saw me, since I let someone see the full picture. But Evie does, and she’s not running, which makes me want to stay too.

“Not really. For starters, they’re both in the broken hearts club, and no one wants to be around that.”

“Zoey too?”

I nod. “Right before the end of the semester, Zoey caught her boyfriend and her best friend in bed together.”

Evie gasps and then glares at me. But truthfully, I didn’t think to include that in my story about Zoey at the time. I knew it happened, but in the way I know anything happens in Zoey’s life—because Liz tells me. But hearing Liz talk about it stirred an inkling of sympathy in my stomach. No one deserves that pain, and yet no one seems to be able to escape it.

“Yeah,” I say, resisting the urge to shrug. Something tells me Evie would read way too much into it. “I was not dealing with that on top of the awkwardness of the whole situation.”

“The whole situation?”

It’s a psychologist follow-up if there ever was one, down to the deliberate innocence in her voice. She might as well have asked how I feel about that. I almost give her a snarky answer, but the truth rolls out of me instead.

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