Page 18 of The First Love Myth

He grabs my hand. “I miss you, Zo. Come away with me.”

“It’s Liz’s last weekend. I’m not sure I can get away.” The words come out in a rush of panic.

“Last weekend on this earth?”

I knew it was the wrong argument as I was making it, but I had to say something or else I would’ve jumped into his arms and professed my love for him. My heart hammers in my chest. Why do I want this?Why?

“Still...” I hedge, hoping to think up some coherent answer that will at the very least buy me some time.

“Reid!”

Max’s voice breaks off whatever rambling thought I’m about to give. Thank god. He stands at the top of the stairs to the school’s main entrance, his arms crossed, eyes narrowed. I wonder if he’s glaring at Andrew or battling the sun. Probably the latter, but a girl can hope.

“One minute,” I call back.

“Forty-five seconds! Lunch isn’t going to serve itself.”

A smile grows on my face at that. I didn’t realize we both used that phrase or that I picked it up from him in our short time as coworkers. This coincidence does not go unnoticed by Andrew. He glowers at his former coach.

“Sorry, I have to go.”

“This weekend?” There’s a sort of desperation in his voice I’ve never heard before.

“I’ll think about it.” Before he can respond, I turn and bound up the steps to Max’s side. I don’t chance a look back. Seeing jealousy or longing on his face will torture me, and if he’s already gone... I focus on Max, who stares down at me with an unreadable expression.

“Everything okay?” he asks as we step into school.

It’s a reasonable question, given what he knows about how things ended with Andrew, but it feels heavier than that. We turn into the senior hallway, and for once memories don’t come. There’s no Claire laughing so hard she cries or Andrew wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in for a kiss. There’s Max and an empty hallway. My racing heart slows to normal speed, and the disastrous hope that filled me at Andrew’s words ebbs.

I elbow Max in the side and give him a smile that’s real. “Everything’s fine.”

He musses my hair and nudges me back as we reach the cafeteria. I can do this. I can say no to Andrew and lose the loveof my life and survive. I can. I think of Liz, Haley, and Becca, and now Max, who has become a balm to my scorched edges, softening the sharp pain and dull ache that simultaneously reside in my chest.

Chapter 16

Liz

Apartment-white walls, standard gray carpets, and sliding balcony doors—this apartment is a blank canvas of mediocrity. But it’s mine, and I can’t help constantly squeezing the key tucked into my pocket. Even though they gave me the key a few days early, I’m not ready to move in. One, because none of my furniture is arriving for another week, and two, I told Zoey exactly when I was leaving, and based on her mood recently, I feel like departing sooner might not be well received.

Instead, I’m lying on the floor, staring at the blank walls of my home for the next six months, and imagining what it could be. In the quiet, my creativity has free rein. Painting the walls is a no-go, but I can absolutely splash the walls with color in artwork and statement pieces. There’s a funky thrift store over by the Princeton campus. I bet I can find a cool lamp or some retro décor. Maybe I can stop by after work or the next time I go into the office. I’ve been trying to alternate office days with remote days to maximize the time I have with Zoey, but she’s been MIA more than usual. And not with Andrew, as far as I can tell.

My stomach rumbles. Right, because it’s dinner time. And I definitely can’t eat here. As I pull myself to sitting and adjust my now-crooked ponytail, there’s a knock on the door. I stop, myfingers twisted in my hair tie. Who the heck is knocking on my door? God help me if it’s Julian.

I scrambled to my feet and then pull the door open to find my sister on the other side. I blink a few times, but no, she’s real. “Cecilia?”

“Hey, sis,” she says with a smile.

“What in the world are you doing in New Jersey? And how did you know I was here?” I ask rapid-fire as I let her into the apartment.

“What do you mean what I am I doing in New Jersey?” She’s not facing me, but I can hear the eye roll regardless. “You left your husband! You signed a six-month lease! Of course I came.”

I practically jump into her arms, wrapping her in a tight embrace. “Thank you.”

“Tell me everything,” she says.

And so I do.

We’re sitting on the floor in the living room, our backs against the wall. Cecilia kicked off her shoes at some point during my story, and her hair is up in a messy bun. I haven’t seen her like this in a long time. I haven’t seen her period. Despite the tension of my story, she seems relaxed.

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